Monday, July 26, 2010

Why Blog?

So there are those who don't agree with putting yourself out there on the internet.  Facebook, Twitter, blogging, it's all so public, intrusive, a total loss of privacy and control.  Well...I would love to be a published author.  I would love to be paid for doing what I love, which is writing.  So far, this is as close as it gets and I love it! Writing is an opportunity to vent, to purge to share, to educate. Via this blog, I have met others who walk in similar shoes, who have these difficult children.  We understand and sympathize with each other.   

I have two children with Aspergers.  Many people have no idea of what that means.  O.K. so they have autism, social anxiety, they think a little differently, behave rather terribly at times, or is it all just an excuse for bad behavior? 

Until the world is able to see Aspergers for what it really is, they will never understand it, much less have any idea of what it's like to parent someone with it.  This blog is an opportunity to see the reality that I live.  Some people may be offended by it.  For that, I am sorry...well sort of.  They say, write what you know.  My life is what I know for sure.  I definitely don't have all of the answers.  I am definitely not the perfect parent.  I am constantly searching, educating myself, reading everything that I can get my hands on, joining autism blogs, meetup groups, the Autism Society, Autism Speaks, seeking the advice of therapists, doctors, counselors, in order to help my children and to help myself. 

People can judge and say...well, I would just do this, or that. I would just beat the s*#/ out of them! They want to apply the "old school" tactics to a child who basically lives in their very own foreign land and doesn't think in the "old school" manner.  Every therapist I've met, and every book I've read, has said, it doesn't work.  How can you apply rational thought when a child is being totally irrational? What does the average person they really know about the human mind and how the mind of a child with autism works?  What do they know about what it is to live with it from day to day? What is it like to parent a child with autism up close and personally?  Well keep reading my will find out!

I'll put it this way -before my mother moved here to live with me, I spoke to her every single day.  I usually filled her in with antidotes of what is going on with her grandchildren, with school, their challenges, etc.  SHE HAD NO IDEA of what I have to deal with on a daily basis until she actually saw it for herself.  And she is in AWE of me -of what I do, the amount of patience that I have, and that I have maintained relative sanity.  That's not to say, that she agrees with everything that I do, and the way that I parent, but she knows that she has not read what I've read, or gone to all of their therapy appointments, sat down with school administrators, psychologists and teachers, read assessments, books and web sites on autism. 

I am the person who deals with my children the majority of the time.  I love and appreciate their father and he is pretty freakin awesome! However, he travels and works very hard so that I can be there for them when he can not be.  I love it when he is here.  He is often the voice of reason, the better disciplinarian, the male influence that they so desperately need.  At the end of the day, a lot of the not so fun parts fall deftly across my shoulders.  I am a pre-menopausal, imperfect, 45 year old woman.  If anyone would like to take over and walk in my shoes...I wear a size 8.  Step right in them and see how they fit.