So he and one of his friends decide they must have a sleep-over this weekend. They have never done this before. They hang out all the time but this will be a first. I think the occasion is they both feel a little deprived of playtime since 7th grade started. Blue has just been overwhelmed with the rigor and schedule of homework. It is seriously infringing on his time to relax and "hang out" with his friends.
Since it is a holiday weekend, they schedule it for Sunday night. Meanwhile on Saturday, Blue calls his friend Jay to ask him to come over. Jay can't make it on Saturday, but would like to come on Sunday (the day that Twin1) is coming over. They all know each other from elementary school. So I say it's fine that Jay and Twin1 come over on the same evening. Jay does not plan on spending the night. On Sunday, Twin2 decides he also wants to come over and spend the night. Therefore, I end up with 3 boys instead of just the 1. Lucky me!!!
They all behave beautifully. They play board games, and video games of course. There is a little horsing around, but nothing too loud or rambunctious. While on the computer, Blue is constantly monitoring weather. Why? I do not know. We haven't had rain in almost 3 months. He finds that there is a fire warning in our city, due to the extreme heat and drought. When they notice the fire warnings, they all come downstairs.
"There's a fire warning...we're all going to die."
"Are we going to burn up?"
"We have to search the area for fires!"
I allow them to go out to search for fires. I give them a flash light and tell them to stay within a 1 block radius in which I know there are no fires.
Minutes later they come back...there is no immediate danger they all report. Blue tries really hard to get all nervous and anxious. I respectfully ask him to just try to enjoy his friends instead of worrying. He obliges.
Later, Jay has a close call where he almost has to leave the party early. He is afraid to use our bathroom because our fans are too loud. He has this "thing" with fans right now. Note...actually running the fan in our bathrooms is optional. You can just turn on the light. That is not an option for him, however. I try putting a pillow over one of the fans to mute the sound...not good enough. As I am calling his mom to help me solve the problem...Blue solves it for me. He goes into the bathroom with Jay to make sure everything is o.k. while he is using it! This is huge! He won't let any of us near the bathroom when he's using it. And he would never come into the bathroom with one of us. Wow! What he won't do for his friends!
Oh...and that whole sleeping issue he has...where he has a fit if he has to sleep with anyone else in the room...out the window! He totally forgot about that when he slept with all of the boys in his room. He did wear his ear plugs --just in case someone snored, but that was it! Remember our Bed-Hopping sleeping disaster on our family vacation. Blue would rather sleep on the floor in the bathroom, than sleep next to his brother.
The next morning...the boys wake up. I am in my room, in my bed, on my laptop when they ALL COME MARCHING INTO MY ROOM. "Good morning. What's for breakfast?" HELLO!!! Boundaries??? Why are there 12 year old boys in my bedroom? How about Blue knocks on the door...waits for me to come and answer before they all come marching in??? It was just too funny.
I must say...I truly enjoyed having the boys in my home. It was so good seeing them all enjoy such a typical, teenage-boy activity, with laughter and a sense of comfort. No one was teased, taunted or made fun of. They just had a pure good time and I received so much joy from watching them.
Logging you in...
Adelaide Dupont · 285 weeks ago
And for those of us who knew and appreciated these points in high school to a greater or lesser extent - always good to have a refresher and feel them through the current and future generations who we survived to be able to see.
I especially appreciated points 5, 7 and 10.
And young women not settling or settling down yet is a good thing.
"It's never too late to live our dreams" - but it may be too early for some of them!
And 8 of course.
nicole · 243 weeks ago
Risa · 230 weeks ago
LAH · 221 weeks ago
Maira L. Coral · 216 weeks ago
I was looking for information for my Multi-Genre Disability Research Project from my Early Childhood Special Education class on the web, when suddenly I came across your blog. I started reading this out of curiosity and I want to tell you that as you said yourself, you will not be Amanda Gorman, but you managed to make me shed some tears, perhaps because I felt totally identified with your words, especially in the part that you speak of your son. My son also has Asperger's syndrome, he is 19 years old and he is in the second semester of College. Also like yours, he takes classes from home, likewise my eldest daughter is also taking college classes from her room. At the same time, that I work as a preschool teacher from my kitchen through a computer, my husband sleeps in the room during the day because he works at night. Also in the afternoons I myself take virtual school classes. I am a 51-year-old Latin woman who began to learn the English language as adult, so maybe you find some deficiencies in my writing, however, I was very moved by how proud you express yourself about your son. Referent your mother, I liked the humorous tone that you give when your talk about her, so I did not want to miss this opportunity and stopped my assignments for a moment to let you know that your words do make a difference, since they reach the heart of at least those who have opportunity to read you. I want confess you that is the most long I have written to someone I don't know, because your words inspired me, thank you...
Gavin Bollard · 209 weeks ago
Thanks for this post. I've been very distracted of late and so this was how I found out about our friend Kate. Kate's struggles were very real but they were so constant and so wide-ranging that it was difficult for people around her to address them. I think it's going to take a while longer for me to process all this.
I learned so much from Kate because she was always quick to point out the many injustices in the world. In her glory days, she was very much a crusader and she cared for everyone. Over the years, as her situation took its toll, I came to realise that it was the fact that she couldn't be put in a single specific category, that made the system fail her. She needed help that they weren't set up to provide.
She needed more care and she needed to be less alone. I'm so sorry that this has happened.
For a long while we were corresponding almost every day but a couple of months ago, I realised that she had become so stressed that nearly every interaction I had with her was starting to trigger her. I backed away to give her a bit more space. She only had a little time that she could stand to be online and there were too many things that she wanted to do in that time. I thought that by taking a step back, she could reach out to more people who might be geographically closer and able to assist.
Kate was a beautiful soul and she will be sorely missed by all of us.
diyalabs6192603 11p · 192 weeks ago
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Spoil your cat · 122 weeks ago
Many of these living arrangement aren't good, and many of the people who run those places really don't have the residents' best interest at heart. Those places are like old age homes and foster homes, where you sometimes hear horror stories. They're hard to trust. But then there are good ones, of course.
The best thing for an autistic adult is either to go on living at home or working and renting an apartment and living independently, but that isn't always an option.
Duncan · 112 weeks ago