When we travel as a family, we often use frequent flyer miles, which doesn't always leave the best options as far as travel times. It's either the crack of dawn or late in the evening. I hate the crack of dawn...you're so tired the day you get there it's a complete waste. You can't sleep the night before you leave -anticipating the early morning departure...thinking about what you may be forgetting to pack. Then getting everyone up and to the airport on time. It's exhausting and stressful.
We take an evening flight this time, with a layover in Dallas. We are delayed leaving Austin and then rushed to the 2nd flight, eating fast food, or should I say gas food, along the way. Hurry up and wait! We get on the flight and start taxing out, only to return to the gate a few minutes later because of mechanical problems. Basically, we are being held hostage by the airline. Thank you very much!
We are already scheduled to arrive in D.C. at 1 a.m. Well..now that's been delayed till slightly after 2 a.m. Luckily, the flight is not full, so Blue and I have 3 seats to share. Red has 3 seats to himself in the same row across from us. Hubby...oh he's all alone in the emergency row behind us, totally oblivious to the cross talk and fighting that's been screamed across the isle between the two boys.
Hubby is alone that is until a boy, who I am sure has special needs (as he had little facial expression and was sitting there reading a book in German) moves up into one of the seats in Hubby's row just before take off. This kid (age 19) is farting up a storm...and this is before the air conditioner is cranked up to help circulate the air. My husband is sitting there discriminately covering his nose. I just laugh! Ha ha! That's what he gets for sticking me with the kids.
So the plane is about to land. We tell Red to put his shoes on. He refuses. He wants to watch the landing. Then he wants to watch all of the planes on the ground. When we park at the gate he is still sitting there looking at us with one shoe on. We get our things and leave him sitting there.
He yells, "So you guys don't care about me?" You're just going to leave me?"
"We care about you...that's why we told you to put your shoes on before we landed. You chose not to listen. See ya!"
A normal consequence for not listening when we tell you it's time to go, is that you get left behind. You're 15 years-old. I think it's about time you figure that out.
In the car on the way to the hotel, I have to play possum like I am asleep so that he will stop talking and asking questions. Everyone is completely tired and spent by this time. It's almost 3 a.m. (eastern).
We get to the hotel and then it's time for bed hopping. The plan is that Red is going to stay with his grandmother, who lives right down the street from where we are staying. But it's so late, that we can't take him over there. This means the boys will have to share space. This is not o.k. with Blue. He feels that he must sleep alone...in complete quiet and privacy at ALL times.
Blue would rather sleep in the bathroom on the floor than sleep next to his brother. He is ready to take couch cushions and blankets into the large bathroom to sleep. That is until his brother says, "Wait...I need to use the bathroom first."
"What number do you have to do?"
"Number 2."
OH NO! Now that's ruined. Blue is in tears. How can he sleep in a bathroom that his brother just used as a...well...bathroom?!
Hubby agrees to allow Blue to sleep in the king-size bed with me. He will share the part of the sectional couch while Red sleeps in the sleeper sofa. Even this is not o.k. with Blue. Mom may snore...or breathe too loud. Heaven forbid! I give him melatonin and a relaxation vitamin supplement. I rub his back gently through his tears and basically tell him he doesn't have much of a choice in the matter. We have to be flexible. Flexible??? What's that???
I tried to sleep as quietly as I could. Which means, I didn't sleep much at all. We have yet to leave this hotel room. The boys are still sleeping. Thank God!!!
As my friend says...Waaitresssss! Can you get me some Bailey's with that coffee?
Feel my pain??? Click the little TopMOMMY lady before you go!
We take an evening flight this time, with a layover in Dallas. We are delayed leaving Austin and then rushed to the 2nd flight, eating fast food, or should I say gas food, along the way. Hurry up and wait! We get on the flight and start taxing out, only to return to the gate a few minutes later because of mechanical problems. Basically, we are being held hostage by the airline. Thank you very much!
We are already scheduled to arrive in D.C. at 1 a.m. Well..now that's been delayed till slightly after 2 a.m. Luckily, the flight is not full, so Blue and I have 3 seats to share. Red has 3 seats to himself in the same row across from us. Hubby...oh he's all alone in the emergency row behind us, totally oblivious to the cross talk and fighting that's been screamed across the isle between the two boys.
Hubby is alone that is until a boy, who I am sure has special needs (as he had little facial expression and was sitting there reading a book in German) moves up into one of the seats in Hubby's row just before take off. This kid (age 19) is farting up a storm...and this is before the air conditioner is cranked up to help circulate the air. My husband is sitting there discriminately covering his nose. I just laugh! Ha ha! That's what he gets for sticking me with the kids.
So the plane is about to land. We tell Red to put his shoes on. He refuses. He wants to watch the landing. Then he wants to watch all of the planes on the ground. When we park at the gate he is still sitting there looking at us with one shoe on. We get our things and leave him sitting there.
He yells, "So you guys don't care about me?" You're just going to leave me?"
"We care about you...that's why we told you to put your shoes on before we landed. You chose not to listen. See ya!"
A normal consequence for not listening when we tell you it's time to go, is that you get left behind. You're 15 years-old. I think it's about time you figure that out.
In the car on the way to the hotel, I have to play possum like I am asleep so that he will stop talking and asking questions. Everyone is completely tired and spent by this time. It's almost 3 a.m. (eastern).
We get to the hotel and then it's time for bed hopping. The plan is that Red is going to stay with his grandmother, who lives right down the street from where we are staying. But it's so late, that we can't take him over there. This means the boys will have to share space. This is not o.k. with Blue. He feels that he must sleep alone...in complete quiet and privacy at ALL times.
Blue would rather sleep in the bathroom on the floor than sleep next to his brother. He is ready to take couch cushions and blankets into the large bathroom to sleep. That is until his brother says, "Wait...I need to use the bathroom first."
"What number do you have to do?"
"Number 2."
OH NO! Now that's ruined. Blue is in tears. How can he sleep in a bathroom that his brother just used as a...well...bathroom?!
Hubby agrees to allow Blue to sleep in the king-size bed with me. He will share the part of the sectional couch while Red sleeps in the sleeper sofa. Even this is not o.k. with Blue. Mom may snore...or breathe too loud. Heaven forbid! I give him melatonin and a relaxation vitamin supplement. I rub his back gently through his tears and basically tell him he doesn't have much of a choice in the matter. We have to be flexible. Flexible??? What's that???
I tried to sleep as quietly as I could. Which means, I didn't sleep much at all. We have yet to leave this hotel room. The boys are still sleeping. Thank God!!!
As my friend says...Waaitresssss! Can you get me some Bailey's with that coffee?
Feel my pain??? Click the little TopMOMMY lady before you go!
Logging you in...
Adelaide Dupont · 285 weeks ago
And for those of us who knew and appreciated these points in high school to a greater or lesser extent - always good to have a refresher and feel them through the current and future generations who we survived to be able to see.
I especially appreciated points 5, 7 and 10.
And young women not settling or settling down yet is a good thing.
"It's never too late to live our dreams" - but it may be too early for some of them!
And 8 of course.
nicole · 243 weeks ago
Risa · 230 weeks ago
LAH · 221 weeks ago
Maira L. Coral · 216 weeks ago
I was looking for information for my Multi-Genre Disability Research Project from my Early Childhood Special Education class on the web, when suddenly I came across your blog. I started reading this out of curiosity and I want to tell you that as you said yourself, you will not be Amanda Gorman, but you managed to make me shed some tears, perhaps because I felt totally identified with your words, especially in the part that you speak of your son. My son also has Asperger's syndrome, he is 19 years old and he is in the second semester of College. Also like yours, he takes classes from home, likewise my eldest daughter is also taking college classes from her room. At the same time, that I work as a preschool teacher from my kitchen through a computer, my husband sleeps in the room during the day because he works at night. Also in the afternoons I myself take virtual school classes. I am a 51-year-old Latin woman who began to learn the English language as adult, so maybe you find some deficiencies in my writing, however, I was very moved by how proud you express yourself about your son. Referent your mother, I liked the humorous tone that you give when your talk about her, so I did not want to miss this opportunity and stopped my assignments for a moment to let you know that your words do make a difference, since they reach the heart of at least those who have opportunity to read you. I want confess you that is the most long I have written to someone I don't know, because your words inspired me, thank you...
Gavin Bollard · 209 weeks ago
Thanks for this post. I've been very distracted of late and so this was how I found out about our friend Kate. Kate's struggles were very real but they were so constant and so wide-ranging that it was difficult for people around her to address them. I think it's going to take a while longer for me to process all this.
I learned so much from Kate because she was always quick to point out the many injustices in the world. In her glory days, she was very much a crusader and she cared for everyone. Over the years, as her situation took its toll, I came to realise that it was the fact that she couldn't be put in a single specific category, that made the system fail her. She needed help that they weren't set up to provide.
She needed more care and she needed to be less alone. I'm so sorry that this has happened.
For a long while we were corresponding almost every day but a couple of months ago, I realised that she had become so stressed that nearly every interaction I had with her was starting to trigger her. I backed away to give her a bit more space. She only had a little time that she could stand to be online and there were too many things that she wanted to do in that time. I thought that by taking a step back, she could reach out to more people who might be geographically closer and able to assist.
Kate was a beautiful soul and she will be sorely missed by all of us.
diyalabs6192603 11p · 192 weeks ago
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Spoil your cat · 121 weeks ago
Many of these living arrangement aren't good, and many of the people who run those places really don't have the residents' best interest at heart. Those places are like old age homes and foster homes, where you sometimes hear horror stories. They're hard to trust. But then there are good ones, of course.
The best thing for an autistic adult is either to go on living at home or working and renting an apartment and living independently, but that isn't always an option.
Duncan · 112 weeks ago