We all have the same issue in this house no one can mind their own business. We have three generations in this house and we all do it. We all have to put our 2 cents in to every conversation, even when the conversation does not directly involve us.
One of my sons is talking to me...my mom chimes in from the next room. She's not even in the same room and she has something to say. Blue says, "Mom can I have so and so?" My mother answers, "He already had such and such." I say, "Your name is Nana. He said Mom? Can I answer my own child?" They call her the food recorder. Because she mentally records everything they eat and reports it when they ask for something else. We also call her, Echo and Kool-aid. Have you heard the term, "Stay out of my Kool-Aid?"
I am chastising or correcting Red, Blue chimes in. "Yeah Red...don't you get it? You need to listen to your mother?" Better yet, when Red is being rude and ungrateful....Blue chimes in by being overly gracious just to piss his brother off.
My husband is the only one who doesn't do it. He says it's been passed down from generation to generation from my mother. And now that I think about it, my grandmother, may she rest in peace, used to do this also. I remember getting so irritated with her, because she would offer advice on how to cook certain things that I already knew how do cook. I distinctly remember her telling me how to make a hamburger patty and me saying, "Does she really think I don't know how do this?" Don't get me wrong...I loved my grandmother beyond belief. I just hated how she always put her 2 cents in, even when it wasn't asked for.
This all irritates me beyond all belief. Yet, I do it too. I consider myself to be the voice of my children. I think I understand them and their way of thinking better than anyone...including their father. When I here that there is a misinterpretation going on....I will chime in and interpret for them. If my husband is being too harsh and aggressive I chime in, "You know Honey, when aggression meets aggression the explosion gets bigger." Of course he gets really angry when I do this. He has expressed interest in me waiting until we are behind closed doors to voice my disagreement. I know he is right...but I just can't seem to stop myself in the heat of the moment.
We all hate when the other person does it. Red gets more and more irritated when different voices are coming at him when he is already agitated. Especially, when all of the voices are telling him that he is wrong. He snaps usually at the incoming voice..."Shut up!" Then we get mad because he's being even more rude.
I just can't tell you how fun it is to live in this crazy house? This is an endless cycle...a merry-go-round that keeps spinning faster and faster and I want off.
Please click the ToPMommy lady before you leave! She's over there>>>
One of my sons is talking to me...my mom chimes in from the next room. She's not even in the same room and she has something to say. Blue says, "Mom can I have so and so?" My mother answers, "He already had such and such." I say, "Your name is Nana. He said Mom? Can I answer my own child?" They call her the food recorder. Because she mentally records everything they eat and reports it when they ask for something else. We also call her, Echo and Kool-aid. Have you heard the term, "Stay out of my Kool-Aid?"
I am chastising or correcting Red, Blue chimes in. "Yeah Red...don't you get it? You need to listen to your mother?" Better yet, when Red is being rude and ungrateful....Blue chimes in by being overly gracious just to piss his brother off.
My husband is the only one who doesn't do it. He says it's been passed down from generation to generation from my mother. And now that I think about it, my grandmother, may she rest in peace, used to do this also. I remember getting so irritated with her, because she would offer advice on how to cook certain things that I already knew how do cook. I distinctly remember her telling me how to make a hamburger patty and me saying, "Does she really think I don't know how do this?" Don't get me wrong...I loved my grandmother beyond belief. I just hated how she always put her 2 cents in, even when it wasn't asked for.
This all irritates me beyond all belief. Yet, I do it too. I consider myself to be the voice of my children. I think I understand them and their way of thinking better than anyone...including their father. When I here that there is a misinterpretation going on....I will chime in and interpret for them. If my husband is being too harsh and aggressive I chime in, "You know Honey, when aggression meets aggression the explosion gets bigger." Of course he gets really angry when I do this. He has expressed interest in me waiting until we are behind closed doors to voice my disagreement. I know he is right...but I just can't seem to stop myself in the heat of the moment.
We all hate when the other person does it. Red gets more and more irritated when different voices are coming at him when he is already agitated. Especially, when all of the voices are telling him that he is wrong. He snaps usually at the incoming voice..."Shut up!" Then we get mad because he's being even more rude.
I just can't tell you how fun it is to live in this crazy house? This is an endless cycle...a merry-go-round that keeps spinning faster and faster and I want off.
Please click the ToPMommy lady before you leave! She's over there>>>
Adelaide Dupont · 285 weeks ago
And for those of us who knew and appreciated these points in high school to a greater or lesser extent - always good to have a refresher and feel them through the current and future generations who we survived to be able to see.
I especially appreciated points 5, 7 and 10.
And young women not settling or settling down yet is a good thing.
"It's never too late to live our dreams" - but it may be too early for some of them!
And 8 of course.
nicole · 243 weeks ago
Risa · 230 weeks ago
LAH · 221 weeks ago
Maira L. Coral · 216 weeks ago
I was looking for information for my Multi-Genre Disability Research Project from my Early Childhood Special Education class on the web, when suddenly I came across your blog. I started reading this out of curiosity and I want to tell you that as you said yourself, you will not be Amanda Gorman, but you managed to make me shed some tears, perhaps because I felt totally identified with your words, especially in the part that you speak of your son. My son also has Asperger's syndrome, he is 19 years old and he is in the second semester of College. Also like yours, he takes classes from home, likewise my eldest daughter is also taking college classes from her room. At the same time, that I work as a preschool teacher from my kitchen through a computer, my husband sleeps in the room during the day because he works at night. Also in the afternoons I myself take virtual school classes. I am a 51-year-old Latin woman who began to learn the English language as adult, so maybe you find some deficiencies in my writing, however, I was very moved by how proud you express yourself about your son. Referent your mother, I liked the humorous tone that you give when your talk about her, so I did not want to miss this opportunity and stopped my assignments for a moment to let you know that your words do make a difference, since they reach the heart of at least those who have opportunity to read you. I want confess you that is the most long I have written to someone I don't know, because your words inspired me, thank you...
Gavin Bollard · 209 weeks ago
Thanks for this post. I've been very distracted of late and so this was how I found out about our friend Kate. Kate's struggles were very real but they were so constant and so wide-ranging that it was difficult for people around her to address them. I think it's going to take a while longer for me to process all this.
I learned so much from Kate because she was always quick to point out the many injustices in the world. In her glory days, she was very much a crusader and she cared for everyone. Over the years, as her situation took its toll, I came to realise that it was the fact that she couldn't be put in a single specific category, that made the system fail her. She needed help that they weren't set up to provide.
She needed more care and she needed to be less alone. I'm so sorry that this has happened.
For a long while we were corresponding almost every day but a couple of months ago, I realised that she had become so stressed that nearly every interaction I had with her was starting to trigger her. I backed away to give her a bit more space. She only had a little time that she could stand to be online and there were too many things that she wanted to do in that time. I thought that by taking a step back, she could reach out to more people who might be geographically closer and able to assist.
Kate was a beautiful soul and she will be sorely missed by all of us.
diyalabs6192603 11p · 192 weeks ago
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Spoil your cat · 122 weeks ago
Many of these living arrangement aren't good, and many of the people who run those places really don't have the residents' best interest at heart. Those places are like old age homes and foster homes, where you sometimes hear horror stories. They're hard to trust. But then there are good ones, of course.
The best thing for an autistic adult is either to go on living at home or working and renting an apartment and living independently, but that isn't always an option.
Duncan · 112 weeks ago