This was my status on Facebook after leaving the high school for my 2nd meeting in less than a week with the School Resource Officer, Red and his Special Education Teacher this morning. We spend the first 45 minutes of school clearing up Red's misconceptions, paranoia and misinterpretation of previous statements and events. It's that famous spinning, looping thing that he does in his head, where he jumbles things all around, turning his own thoughts, feelings and fears into actual events and statements made by other people. Thereby, taking up most of the capacity in his brain for learning and getting the actual education that he is attending school for in the first place. Not only that, he internalizes and makes things bigger than they actually are. This eventually turns in to anger, outbursts and then finally, he settles into deeper depression and a good ol dose self-loathing.
I already spent a good portion of my day a few days prior with, said officer, where he explained to me in great detail, how he handles situations with special needs kids like Red. He is there to assist when one of these gigantic boys is getting out of control and freaking out other students or teachers. His role is to "serve and protect"...to serve --by talking to them, helping them to calm down. To protect --by removing them from a situation where they could possibly hurt themselves or others). He does not work for the school district and they do not tell him what to do. He handles things based on the law and his deescalation training.
Red has it in his mind that the Officer is on campus to, "...throw me in jail and beat me like they do on Cops." On the other side of the coin, he has had two different friends hand-cuffed at school in the past. One of them was taken away. I don't know where this child was taken or what actually happened to him. I do know that in both of these cases the boys actually struck a teacher, whether accidentally or not. Of course Red has NEVER done anything violent against another person in school But in his mind, his friend was handcuffed and taken to jail...never to be seen or heard from again. So the same thing could happen to him at any given moment. Keep in mind that he is not really adding up 2 plus to to make 4...he is not connecting all the dots. Hmm so his friend disappeared. Where did he go? Is he in juvee? Another school? He doesn't know. Maybe that is why he's a little paranoid?
So both of us leave the meeting this morning feeling a little better...not because of the school or the special education staff, but because of the officer himself. He ran this little impromptu meeting... assuring Red that he and the staff are there to help him. They are there for him...not against him. They want him to be successful, not to fail.
This is great...I mean totally Cumbaya! However, I am still reeling at the thought that I actually have to have such a meeting. I mean who ever thought I would spend so much time having to talk to school police for any reason??? Do I really want my son in a public school where this has to be one of his worries on top of all of the mental and social issues that he already has? Where every time he pulls up to the school and looks through the school bus window...the first thing he notices is a police car? And then he comes home and releases all of his pent up anger and frustration by throwing up on all of us?
Well...I have an ARD meeting tomorrow to talk about this among many other concerns that I have about my son's education. Is there any wonder I feel a tad bit overwhelmed??? I mean come on...seriously?
Pleasant surprise coming soon...I will be guest posting over at Flannery Sullivan's The Connor Chronicles very soon! I will let you know of course...as soon as the post is up.
If you are new to the blog...you are morally obligated to vote here before leaving. It is a requirement! And you regulars...you've been sleeping on the job! Get to clicking! Thanks.
p.s. I love your comments...
I already spent a good portion of my day a few days prior with, said officer, where he explained to me in great detail, how he handles situations with special needs kids like Red. He is there to assist when one of these gigantic boys is getting out of control and freaking out other students or teachers. His role is to "serve and protect"...to serve --by talking to them, helping them to calm down. To protect --by removing them from a situation where they could possibly hurt themselves or others). He does not work for the school district and they do not tell him what to do. He handles things based on the law and his deescalation training.
Red has it in his mind that the Officer is on campus to, "...throw me in jail and beat me like they do on Cops." On the other side of the coin, he has had two different friends hand-cuffed at school in the past. One of them was taken away. I don't know where this child was taken or what actually happened to him. I do know that in both of these cases the boys actually struck a teacher, whether accidentally or not. Of course Red has NEVER done anything violent against another person in school But in his mind, his friend was handcuffed and taken to jail...never to be seen or heard from again. So the same thing could happen to him at any given moment. Keep in mind that he is not really adding up 2 plus to to make 4...he is not connecting all the dots. Hmm so his friend disappeared. Where did he go? Is he in juvee? Another school? He doesn't know. Maybe that is why he's a little paranoid?
So both of us leave the meeting this morning feeling a little better...not because of the school or the special education staff, but because of the officer himself. He ran this little impromptu meeting... assuring Red that he and the staff are there to help him. They are there for him...not against him. They want him to be successful, not to fail.
This is great...I mean totally Cumbaya! However, I am still reeling at the thought that I actually have to have such a meeting. I mean who ever thought I would spend so much time having to talk to school police for any reason??? Do I really want my son in a public school where this has to be one of his worries on top of all of the mental and social issues that he already has? Where every time he pulls up to the school and looks through the school bus window...the first thing he notices is a police car? And then he comes home and releases all of his pent up anger and frustration by throwing up on all of us?
Well...I have an ARD meeting tomorrow to talk about this among many other concerns that I have about my son's education. Is there any wonder I feel a tad bit overwhelmed??? I mean come on...seriously?
Pleasant surprise coming soon...I will be guest posting over at Flannery Sullivan's The Connor Chronicles very soon! I will let you know of course...as soon as the post is up.
If you are new to the blog...you are morally obligated to vote here before leaving. It is a requirement! And you regulars...you've been sleeping on the job! Get to clicking! Thanks.
p.s. I love your comments...
Adelaide Dupont · 285 weeks ago
And for those of us who knew and appreciated these points in high school to a greater or lesser extent - always good to have a refresher and feel them through the current and future generations who we survived to be able to see.
I especially appreciated points 5, 7 and 10.
And young women not settling or settling down yet is a good thing.
"It's never too late to live our dreams" - but it may be too early for some of them!
And 8 of course.
nicole · 243 weeks ago
Risa · 230 weeks ago
LAH · 221 weeks ago
Maira L. Coral · 216 weeks ago
I was looking for information for my Multi-Genre Disability Research Project from my Early Childhood Special Education class on the web, when suddenly I came across your blog. I started reading this out of curiosity and I want to tell you that as you said yourself, you will not be Amanda Gorman, but you managed to make me shed some tears, perhaps because I felt totally identified with your words, especially in the part that you speak of your son. My son also has Asperger's syndrome, he is 19 years old and he is in the second semester of College. Also like yours, he takes classes from home, likewise my eldest daughter is also taking college classes from her room. At the same time, that I work as a preschool teacher from my kitchen through a computer, my husband sleeps in the room during the day because he works at night. Also in the afternoons I myself take virtual school classes. I am a 51-year-old Latin woman who began to learn the English language as adult, so maybe you find some deficiencies in my writing, however, I was very moved by how proud you express yourself about your son. Referent your mother, I liked the humorous tone that you give when your talk about her, so I did not want to miss this opportunity and stopped my assignments for a moment to let you know that your words do make a difference, since they reach the heart of at least those who have opportunity to read you. I want confess you that is the most long I have written to someone I don't know, because your words inspired me, thank you...
Gavin Bollard · 209 weeks ago
Thanks for this post. I've been very distracted of late and so this was how I found out about our friend Kate. Kate's struggles were very real but they were so constant and so wide-ranging that it was difficult for people around her to address them. I think it's going to take a while longer for me to process all this.
I learned so much from Kate because she was always quick to point out the many injustices in the world. In her glory days, she was very much a crusader and she cared for everyone. Over the years, as her situation took its toll, I came to realise that it was the fact that she couldn't be put in a single specific category, that made the system fail her. She needed help that they weren't set up to provide.
She needed more care and she needed to be less alone. I'm so sorry that this has happened.
For a long while we were corresponding almost every day but a couple of months ago, I realised that she had become so stressed that nearly every interaction I had with her was starting to trigger her. I backed away to give her a bit more space. She only had a little time that she could stand to be online and there were too many things that she wanted to do in that time. I thought that by taking a step back, she could reach out to more people who might be geographically closer and able to assist.
Kate was a beautiful soul and she will be sorely missed by all of us.
diyalabs6192603 11p · 192 weeks ago
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Spoil your cat · 122 weeks ago
Many of these living arrangement aren't good, and many of the people who run those places really don't have the residents' best interest at heart. Those places are like old age homes and foster homes, where you sometimes hear horror stories. They're hard to trust. But then there are good ones, of course.
The best thing for an autistic adult is either to go on living at home or working and renting an apartment and living independently, but that isn't always an option.
Duncan · 112 weeks ago