Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Dear God...Seriously???

This was my status on Facebook after leaving the high school for my 2nd meeting in less than a week with the School Resource Officer, Red and his Special Education Teacher this morning.  We spend the first 45 minutes of school clearing up Red's misconceptions, paranoia and misinterpretation of previous statements and events.  It's that famous spinning, looping thing that he does in his head, where he jumbles things all around, turning his own thoughts, feelings and fears into actual events and statements made by other people.  Thereby, taking up most of the capacity in his brain for learning and getting the actual education that he is attending school for in the first place.  Not only that, he internalizes and makes things bigger than they actually are. This eventually turns in to anger, outbursts and then finally, he settles into deeper depression and a good ol dose self-loathing.

I already spent a good portion of my day a few days prior with, said officer,  where he explained to me in great detail,  how he handles situations with special needs kids like Red.  He is there to assist when one of these gigantic boys is getting out of control and freaking out other students or teachers.  His role is to "serve and protect" serve --by talking to them, helping them to calm down.  To protect --by removing them from a situation where they could possibly hurt themselves or others).  He does not work for the school district and they do not tell him what to do.  He handles things based on the law and his deescalation training.

Red has it in his mind that the Officer is on campus to, "...throw me in jail and beat me like they do on Cops."  On the other side of the coin, he has had two different friends hand-cuffed at school in the past.  One of them was taken away.  I don't know where this child was taken or what actually happened to him.  I do know that in both of these cases the boys actually struck a teacher, whether accidentally or not.  Of course Red has NEVER done anything violent against another person in school  But in his mind, his friend was handcuffed and taken to jail...never to be seen or heard from again.   So the same thing could happen to him at any given moment. Keep in mind that he is not really adding up 2 plus to to make 4...he is not connecting all the dots.  Hmm so his friend disappeared.  Where did he go?  Is he in juvee? Another school?  He doesn't know.  Maybe that is why he's a little paranoid?  

So both of us leave the meeting this morning feeling a little better...not because of the school or the special education staff, but because of the officer himself.   He ran this little impromptu meeting...  assuring Red that he and the staff are there to help him.  They are there for him...not against him.  They want him to be successful, not to fail.

This is great...I mean totally Cumbaya!  However, I am still reeling at the thought that I actually have to have such a meeting.  I mean who ever thought I would spend so much time having to talk to school police for any reason???  Do I really want my son in a public school where this has to be one of his worries on top of all of the mental and social issues that he already has?  Where every time he pulls up to the school and looks through the school bus window...the first thing he notices is a police car?  And then he comes home and releases all of his pent up anger and frustration by throwing up on all of us?

Well...I have an ARD meeting tomorrow to talk about this among many other concerns that I have about my son's education.  Is there any wonder I feel a tad bit overwhelmed??? I mean come on...seriously?

Pleasant surprise coming soon...I will be guest posting over at Flannery Sullivan's The Connor Chronicles very soon!  I will let you know of soon as the post is up. 

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