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Sunday, March 15, 2015

The Script

The script/dialog all morning and afternoon... 

Him:

I changed my mind about that group home. 
I don't trust you mom. 
If I move there, they will make me eat nasty food.
I'll have to get up at 5:30 in the morning! I can't get up that early!
I will be so tired. 
I think you're just trying to ruin my life.
You will do anything to ruin my life.
I think you're just manipulating me, by telling me I might like it.  
(He has been offered the opportunity to try it out for a few days). 
You're going to make me lose everything! My girlfriend, my church family, my friends!
If I change my behavior, will you give me one more chance to stay at home? 
You really haven't tried everything yet. 
What about that behavior therapist? 
What about changing my medication? 
I know I need to change, but you really need to change.
I know I'm nice to other people. That's because I like them. 
Do I have to fake it like I like you guys? 
Do I have to be all nice like cousin Courtney? 
Being nice comes naturally to him. 
It doesn't feel right for me to be that nice.
You know that's hard for me right? 
Do you understand how I feel? 
You will do anything so that I will move somewhere and not be able to buy more video equipment. 

If I move there, I won't be able to keep running my own business. 

Me:
You're not running a business. You're running a hobby which allows you to buy more and more video equipment. Right now you have so much equipment, it would take two more people's hands to manage it during a shoot. You don't have two more people who know anything about making videos. 

Him:
At that group home, the house is closed during the day. What if I need to go back to work on a video project? 

Me:
You haven't worked on a video project in months. Even when you have one, you don't work on it during the day. You come home from school or work and follow me around the house talking most of the day or you're watching Sponge Bob. 

Him:
You don't support my passion! 

Me:
Your passion is for buying equipment and watching You-Tube videos about movie making. You don't actually make movies. You don't actually practice or get involved in the local movie making community like your counselor suggested that you do. You do event shooting if a job is dropped in your lap. If you would do more things to develop your passion, get more education, interact with the local Austin Film Society, practice more. I would fully support it.

Him: Harry! Harry! Come here Harry!(In a very high pitched squeal. Harry runs away.) 
Me: Leave the dog alone. 
Him: But I really love his cuteness. I just want to feel his cuteness. 
(This is an everyday, multiple times a day, script along with the action of chasing the 6 1/2 pound dog, like the 250 pound Jolly Green Giant.) 

I leave the kitchen to go to my room to get dressed to go to the grocery store. Harry follows me to get away from being chased. Harry regularly runs to hide if he hears Red coming into a room. 

Hubby and I are listening to music in our bedroom. When I open the door...

Him: Why do you listen to that rap music when you know I hate it? 
They are cursing and talking about shaking butts!
You're really making me angry. 
You're just trying to piss me off!
Turn that music off! 

We keep listening and dancing ...releasing a little stress. This is my house last time I checked. 

I take him to the grocery store, so that he can buy his own groceries. I have been avoiding the place like the plague for a week, so I need to shop too.  At this point, I have already had it with him. I can't take listening to another pissing, moaning, complaint. I put on my headphones as we enter the store. I play the Prince station on Pandora. I do this often, even when I'm by myself. It makes grocery shopping a little less painful. 
"Mom why are you wearing headphones in the grocery store?"
"So that I don't commit murder in front of all these witnesses."
I send him begrudgingly on his way with his list. He would rather follow me around. I.Can.Not.Do.It. 

Every time I run into him, in the store the dialog starts again...

Him:

I can't live in that group home. 
I don't trust you mom. 
If I move there, they will make me eat nasty food!
I'll have to get up at 5:30 in the morning! I can't get up that early!
I will be so tired. 
I think you're just trying to ruin my life.
You will do anything to ruin my life.
I think you're just manipulating me, by telling me I might like it.  
You're going to make me lose everything! 
My girlfriend, my church family, my friends!
If I change my behavior, will you give me one more chance? 
You really haven't tried everything yet. 
What about that behavior therapist? 
What about changing my medication? 
I know I need to change, but you really need to change. 
You will do anything so that I will move somewhere and not be able to buy more video equipment. 
Will you give me one more chance if I change my behavior? 
Do you think I can change? 
Me:
I think you can do anything you want to do, but you have to actually WANT to do it. 
Him: 
Will you give me another chance if my behavior changes? 
Me: I will draw up a contract that you must follow. I can not live like this anymore. If you break it, you will have to move elsewhere. If it's not this group home, it can be another one or another  affordable living situation. 

On the way home in the car the same dialog continues...

I come home pour myself a stiff margarita with a Grand Marnier floater. 

I crawl into bed feeling like this...