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Saturday, August 16, 2014

Dating Red Part 2

So we are a couple of months into this relationship now.  It's going better than I ever could have expected.  I am seeing him grow and stretch, choosing her above his own selfish wants and needs, which is major for him. For example, she wants Chinese food.  He hates Chinese food, but he goes with her and makes it through the meal without complaint.  He comes home hungry of course.  But this is something that he would NEVER do for his family.  He may go with us.  He may find something to eat, but he would be majorly complaining the whole time.

He has gone to see a romantic comedy at the movies, when he really only likes action thrillers.  He has gone to the mall shopping with her countless times.  He usually HATES the mall.  Of course, the mall is probably a much more pleasant experience with a beautiful girl by your side.

It was her birthday the other day.  I was secretly thrilled that he has found a girl that shares in his love an enthusiasm for roller coasters.  He went with her family to an amusement park for the day. Score! He's out of my hair! 

I won't get into details, but when he came home he told me that she had kind of a hard time during parts of the day. She became very upset with her family members and had a bit of a meltdown.  Of course, I won't get into her diagnosis.  I don't even know what it is for sure.  Let's just say they seem have some similar issues.

I explained that a full day at an amusement park can be fun, but overwhelming at the same time. Blue has a meltdown at the end of almost every amusement park we've ever gone to.

He experienced the behavior as kind of unnerving.  I said to him, "You do understand that you have displayed very similar behavior."
He said, "Yes. But I don't see myself when I'm doing it.  So I guess I don't really know what it looks like."
I thought this was an incredibly insightful statement.  Sometimes he still surprises me.

After their date, she called to apologize for what he had seen that day.  He told her there was no need for apologies.  He understands.  He's been there and has had friends who have been there. He told her not to worry.  He is there for her, no matter what.  He doesn't give up on people just because they are having a hard time.  He also assured her that her family loves her.  That her parents are just doing their best to help her, but they are not perfect.

I thought I was going.to.die. Who is this mature person and what has he done with my kid? What is they say about autism and empathy? This kid has empathy, for sure! 

It's kind of cool when you hear your words of wisdom being regurgitated out of the mouth of one of your children as if it were his own original thought.  The part about her parents loving her, no matter what ...that was all me. The rest was all him and I could not be more proud.

If interested ...the first click here for the first Dating Red post