I should be on a date with my husband. Last night at the dinner table, he invited me to meet him for a Holiday Happy Hour party that some client is sponsoring. I told him I would try to make it. I thought maybe I would bring Blue with me, and drop him off at a nearby Starbucks. He he could do homework, while we were socializing.
At the time, I wasn't thinking about the fact that this would also be church night for Red. Planning an adult outing during the middle of the week, at the last minute is really not simple. For that matter, nothing in my life is simple.
First of all, last night I washed and attempted to color my hair ...purple. Yes -the color purple. It didn't work. Instead my half-ass mix of dark brown with remnants of red hair, is now just black. With the exception of the terribly stubborn gray in the front that didn't take any color at all. Washing and attempting to color my hair took so long, that I didn't have time to twist and style it afterwards.
The process of self-twisting locks, also takes quite a while. Lately, I've been getting my locs twisted professionally, which actually only takes about an hour. By twisted I mean, the hair grows out leaving the roots, loose, and in my case, gray. The last time I went to have it done by a stylist/loctician, the asshole had me waiting for three hours, before he even got started on me. Well, I take that back, he washed and dried my hair, but it was still a mess. I was livid! Ready to walk out the door when he finally called me to do the actual twisting. I haven't been back to him since. He's good, and he's quick, once he finally gets started. But, obviously he has no idea how to manage his time, and I don't have time to waste. He and the other stylist there even stopped to order lunch during my wait, which included chicken, waffles and red Kool-Aid. Now I'm not saying these folks were some country, backwoods so and sos, but ...you put two and two together.
Back to my the story...
So today, I had plans of twisting my dreadlocks, which takes me a few hours. This morning the kids wore me out. I mean I was exhausted by 8:45 when I dropped Blue off at school. I needed to regroup, so I came home, poured myself a big cup of coffee and took the time to do a little writing, in silence.
When I was done, my mother reminded me it was time for her hair appointment. Now ...I tried to get her to agree that I would drop her off, and she could ask her friend/hairstylist to go out to lunch. This would give me 2 hours to come home, take a bath, be alone, walk through my own house naked and take care of my own hair. But nooooo ...she didn't want to do that. It wasn't her plan and she had a million excuses why she refused to do it.
I wasn't dressed for the day. I had not showered or bathed. So, I had to drop her off, come back home, take a quick shower, change and then go right back to pick her up. Yes. I was pissed! Once again, I'm running around like a chicken doing everything that don't want to do, for everyone else.
Hubby calls this afternoon to ask me if I am still coming. Well, by this time, the boys are home and going at it, arguing, venting about school and asking me ninety-nine thousand and one questions, working on my last half of a nerve. My hair still is not done. I took one look in the mirror and it was frightful.
Red needed to get to church. I am proud of myself for making him get his his own ride. Of course, it would be more convenient for him, if I did it. I have to draw the line somewhere, he will never do anything for himself if I don't push.
Blue needed to get to the library to do a ton of homework. When he has a lot to do, he gets too distracted and quite, frankly angry, to do it at home. There is no fighting, yelling or meltdowns allowed at the library, unless you're a toddler.
Here was my choice...
-Get dressed quickly, put together some half-assed hairdo, put on some make up to spite that bitch of a mirror. Then, find something cute to wear to meet people for the first time, at the last minute. Then, rush across town to hang out with hubby and his colleagues. Put on the smiles, small talk and act like an adult who isn't half out of her mind.
Or...
-Put on my sweats and take Blue to the library with bad hair and no make-up.
Two weeks ago I vowed not to put off the fun of my life, for the sake of my ungrateful children. I actually went to Houston to meet my girlfriend from California for the weekend. It.Was.Fabulous! I am so glad I talked myself into going. I got my own hotel room, and boy did I enjoy the peace and quiet.
This past weekend, I lived up to that vow again. I tried to talk myself out of a date with hubby because I was exhausted from a day of Blue's meltdowns, but I held strong. Red was still away at Grandma's. I decided to leave miserable Blue at home with my mother. He wouldn't be happy whether I stayed home or not. So, I may as well go have some fun. We went out, despite my bad mood and it was great!
We saw the "Best Man Holiday" in a luxury, dine-in ...more importantly drink-in, theatre. All of that chocolate candy, changed my mood real quick! And by chocolate candy, I mean Morris Chesnut and Taye Diggs. Can I get an amen?
So tonight when I'm supposed to be out on a date, having adult fun ...where am I?
Hint: I'm wearing sweatpants.
Two out of three ain't bad.
At the time, I wasn't thinking about the fact that this would also be church night for Red. Planning an adult outing during the middle of the week, at the last minute is really not simple. For that matter, nothing in my life is simple.
First of all, last night I washed and attempted to color my hair ...purple. Yes -the color purple. It didn't work. Instead my half-ass mix of dark brown with remnants of red hair, is now just black. With the exception of the terribly stubborn gray in the front that didn't take any color at all. Washing and attempting to color my hair took so long, that I didn't have time to twist and style it afterwards.
 |
| dreadlocks done professionally -minus the gray |
Back to my the story...
So today, I had plans of twisting my dreadlocks, which takes me a few hours. This morning the kids wore me out. I mean I was exhausted by 8:45 when I dropped Blue off at school. I needed to regroup, so I came home, poured myself a big cup of coffee and took the time to do a little writing, in silence.
When I was done, my mother reminded me it was time for her hair appointment. Now ...I tried to get her to agree that I would drop her off, and she could ask her friend/hairstylist to go out to lunch. This would give me 2 hours to come home, take a bath, be alone, walk through my own house naked and take care of my own hair. But nooooo ...she didn't want to do that. It wasn't her plan and she had a million excuses why she refused to do it.
I wasn't dressed for the day. I had not showered or bathed. So, I had to drop her off, come back home, take a quick shower, change and then go right back to pick her up. Yes. I was pissed! Once again, I'm running around like a chicken doing everything that don't want to do, for everyone else.
Red needed to get to church. I am proud of myself for making him get his his own ride. Of course, it would be more convenient for him, if I did it. I have to draw the line somewhere, he will never do anything for himself if I don't push.
Blue needed to get to the library to do a ton of homework. When he has a lot to do, he gets too distracted and quite, frankly angry, to do it at home. There is no fighting, yelling or meltdowns allowed at the library, unless you're a toddler.
Here was my choice...
-Get dressed quickly, put together some half-assed hairdo, put on some make up to spite that bitch of a mirror. Then, find something cute to wear to meet people for the first time, at the last minute. Then, rush across town to hang out with hubby and his colleagues. Put on the smiles, small talk and act like an adult who isn't half out of her mind.
Or...
-Put on my sweats and take Blue to the library with bad hair and no make-up.
Two weeks ago I vowed not to put off the fun of my life, for the sake of my ungrateful children. I actually went to Houston to meet my girlfriend from California for the weekend. It.Was.Fabulous! I am so glad I talked myself into going. I got my own hotel room, and boy did I enjoy the peace and quiet.
This past weekend, I lived up to that vow again. I tried to talk myself out of a date with hubby because I was exhausted from a day of Blue's meltdowns, but I held strong. Red was still away at Grandma's. I decided to leave miserable Blue at home with my mother. He wouldn't be happy whether I stayed home or not. So, I may as well go have some fun. We went out, despite my bad mood and it was great!
We saw the "Best Man Holiday" in a luxury, dine-in ...more importantly drink-in, theatre. All of that chocolate candy, changed my mood real quick! And by chocolate candy, I mean Morris Chesnut and Taye Diggs. Can I get an amen?
So tonight when I'm supposed to be out on a date, having adult fun ...where am I?
Hint: I'm wearing sweatpants.
Two out of three ain't bad.
Logging you in...
Adelaide Dupont · 285 weeks ago
And for those of us who knew and appreciated these points in high school to a greater or lesser extent - always good to have a refresher and feel them through the current and future generations who we survived to be able to see.
I especially appreciated points 5, 7 and 10.
And young women not settling or settling down yet is a good thing.
"It's never too late to live our dreams" - but it may be too early for some of them!
And 8 of course.
nicole · 243 weeks ago
Risa · 230 weeks ago
LAH · 221 weeks ago
Maira L. Coral · 216 weeks ago
I was looking for information for my Multi-Genre Disability Research Project from my Early Childhood Special Education class on the web, when suddenly I came across your blog. I started reading this out of curiosity and I want to tell you that as you said yourself, you will not be Amanda Gorman, but you managed to make me shed some tears, perhaps because I felt totally identified with your words, especially in the part that you speak of your son. My son also has Asperger's syndrome, he is 19 years old and he is in the second semester of College. Also like yours, he takes classes from home, likewise my eldest daughter is also taking college classes from her room. At the same time, that I work as a preschool teacher from my kitchen through a computer, my husband sleeps in the room during the day because he works at night. Also in the afternoons I myself take virtual school classes. I am a 51-year-old Latin woman who began to learn the English language as adult, so maybe you find some deficiencies in my writing, however, I was very moved by how proud you express yourself about your son. Referent your mother, I liked the humorous tone that you give when your talk about her, so I did not want to miss this opportunity and stopped my assignments for a moment to let you know that your words do make a difference, since they reach the heart of at least those who have opportunity to read you. I want confess you that is the most long I have written to someone I don't know, because your words inspired me, thank you...
Gavin Bollard · 209 weeks ago
Thanks for this post. I've been very distracted of late and so this was how I found out about our friend Kate. Kate's struggles were very real but they were so constant and so wide-ranging that it was difficult for people around her to address them. I think it's going to take a while longer for me to process all this.
I learned so much from Kate because she was always quick to point out the many injustices in the world. In her glory days, she was very much a crusader and she cared for everyone. Over the years, as her situation took its toll, I came to realise that it was the fact that she couldn't be put in a single specific category, that made the system fail her. She needed help that they weren't set up to provide.
She needed more care and she needed to be less alone. I'm so sorry that this has happened.
For a long while we were corresponding almost every day but a couple of months ago, I realised that she had become so stressed that nearly every interaction I had with her was starting to trigger her. I backed away to give her a bit more space. She only had a little time that she could stand to be online and there were too many things that she wanted to do in that time. I thought that by taking a step back, she could reach out to more people who might be geographically closer and able to assist.
Kate was a beautiful soul and she will be sorely missed by all of us.
diyalabs6192603 11p · 192 weeks ago
Robots for kids
Robotic Online Classes
Robotics School Projects
Programming Courses Malaysia
Coding courses
Coding Academy
coding robots for kids
Coding classes for kids
Coding For Kids
Spoil your cat · 121 weeks ago
Many of these living arrangement aren't good, and many of the people who run those places really don't have the residents' best interest at heart. Those places are like old age homes and foster homes, where you sometimes hear horror stories. They're hard to trust. But then there are good ones, of course.
The best thing for an autistic adult is either to go on living at home or working and renting an apartment and living independently, but that isn't always an option.
Duncan · 112 weeks ago