Editorial Note: Today I am privileged and honored to have my friend Tanya Savko, author, novelist and blogger of one of the best resources I know of on the internet, TeenAutism.com. When I came into my boy's diagnosis, her blog was one of the first places I went looking to see exactly what I would be facing in their teen years. I have come to know and love her and her boys, even though we have never met in person. We will someday. I just know it...
If I had to condense my 15 years of being an autism parent into one word, it would be “changed.” I have irrevocably evolved. I have experienced more than I ever bargained for when I entered the general parenting realm, and more than I anticipated. I knew I would love my children unconditionally, knew that I would do anything for either of my sons. But because of autism I have felt deeper, searched longer, and stretched farther than I ever expected.
Because of autism I was much more involved and attentive, I developed nearly infinite patience, and I started to view not only those with special needs but everyone with more compassion. Because of stares and negative comments and ignorance, I’ve developed what I call “diplomatic advocacy.” Because of elevated fears and autism-affected family dynamics, I’ve learned how to do what I can and let go. I’ve accepted that I needed to ask for help and am doing better because of it.
But what has helped me the most has been something I never would have thought of when my son Nigel was diagnosed back in 1997. For years I did not know any other parents of autistic children, and I felt so isolated. I didn’t even realize how much I needed to connect until he headed into the teen years, and it hit me that I had to find other parents who were facing that as well. This was 2007, and, not finding much on autism in the teen years online, I started TeenAutism.com a few months later. Shortly after that, I discovered what I had missed for ten years – camaraderie, understanding, and a new kind of group therapy.
In 2009, I traveled to Nepal as an autism parent advocate and discovered how universal our emotions are. Our individual journeys all differ in some ways, but the feelings we share, the fears, the frustrations, and the triumphs, are often very similar.
With that in mind, I have written The Autism Parent's Journey, a free PDF book that I am offering to those who subscribe to my monthly newsletter. The book is a simple, brief tribute to autism parents and the journey we find ourselves on. In it, I list resources and strategies for coping, as well as my 15-year-post-diagnosis outlook and thoughts on the future that those of us with special needs children face. I’d be honored if you’d take a look, and I hope you enjoy it and find it helpful. Most of all, I hope it reminds you that you are not alone.
*Please go visit my dear friend Tanya, show her some Confessions love and sign up for her monthly newsletter. You are going to love her free PDF book. I promise!
Logging you in...
Adelaide Dupont · 286 weeks ago
And for those of us who knew and appreciated these points in high school to a greater or lesser extent - always good to have a refresher and feel them through the current and future generations who we survived to be able to see.
I especially appreciated points 5, 7 and 10.
And young women not settling or settling down yet is a good thing.
"It's never too late to live our dreams" - but it may be too early for some of them!
And 8 of course.
nicole · 244 weeks ago
Risa · 231 weeks ago
LAH · 222 weeks ago
Maira L. Coral · 217 weeks ago
I was looking for information for my Multi-Genre Disability Research Project from my Early Childhood Special Education class on the web, when suddenly I came across your blog. I started reading this out of curiosity and I want to tell you that as you said yourself, you will not be Amanda Gorman, but you managed to make me shed some tears, perhaps because I felt totally identified with your words, especially in the part that you speak of your son. My son also has Asperger's syndrome, he is 19 years old and he is in the second semester of College. Also like yours, he takes classes from home, likewise my eldest daughter is also taking college classes from her room. At the same time, that I work as a preschool teacher from my kitchen through a computer, my husband sleeps in the room during the day because he works at night. Also in the afternoons I myself take virtual school classes. I am a 51-year-old Latin woman who began to learn the English language as adult, so maybe you find some deficiencies in my writing, however, I was very moved by how proud you express yourself about your son. Referent your mother, I liked the humorous tone that you give when your talk about her, so I did not want to miss this opportunity and stopped my assignments for a moment to let you know that your words do make a difference, since they reach the heart of at least those who have opportunity to read you. I want confess you that is the most long I have written to someone I don't know, because your words inspired me, thank you...
Gavin Bollard · 210 weeks ago
Thanks for this post. I've been very distracted of late and so this was how I found out about our friend Kate. Kate's struggles were very real but they were so constant and so wide-ranging that it was difficult for people around her to address them. I think it's going to take a while longer for me to process all this.
I learned so much from Kate because she was always quick to point out the many injustices in the world. In her glory days, she was very much a crusader and she cared for everyone. Over the years, as her situation took its toll, I came to realise that it was the fact that she couldn't be put in a single specific category, that made the system fail her. She needed help that they weren't set up to provide.
She needed more care and she needed to be less alone. I'm so sorry that this has happened.
For a long while we were corresponding almost every day but a couple of months ago, I realised that she had become so stressed that nearly every interaction I had with her was starting to trigger her. I backed away to give her a bit more space. She only had a little time that she could stand to be online and there were too many things that she wanted to do in that time. I thought that by taking a step back, she could reach out to more people who might be geographically closer and able to assist.
Kate was a beautiful soul and she will be sorely missed by all of us.
diyalabs6192603 11p · 192 weeks ago
Robots for kids
Robotic Online Classes
Robotics School Projects
Programming Courses Malaysia
Coding courses
Coding Academy
coding robots for kids
Coding classes for kids
Coding For Kids
Spoil your cat · 122 weeks ago
Many of these living arrangement aren't good, and many of the people who run those places really don't have the residents' best interest at heart. Those places are like old age homes and foster homes, where you sometimes hear horror stories. They're hard to trust. But then there are good ones, of course.
The best thing for an autistic adult is either to go on living at home or working and renting an apartment and living independently, but that isn't always an option.
Duncan · 113 weeks ago