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Friday, February 15, 2013

Pretty Pictures

Facebook is a sham!  It's a sham that I love to participate in ...but a sham nonetheless. Your friends post all of these pretty pictures of their happy little lives, smiling with their pretty things in these beautiful places.  Ha ha ha! Fun fun fun! Yeah ...whatever!

You want to know how I know this?  It's from first hand experience, of course.  You see today ...I took some of those pretty pictures and couldn't wait to post them on Facebook.

It's Valentines Day.  The 14 year-olds (Blue and his buddies) were definitely dreading the day because although they have crushes, they have no goods!  No girlfriends ...no Valentines -no special attention.  It's a day that makes them feel more left out than usual.

So we --the moms of these boys go jump through hoops to make this a day about friendship, family and good times.  The twin's mom made them a special breakfast and sent them off like a cheerleader with pompoms and everything.  No literally...she had red, shiny, Valentines pompoms!

I run out to get flowers for my mom and for all of my men (Red, Blue and Dad).  Single red roses for the guys.  Yellow roses and lilies for my mom.  I pick up dinner early so it would be here when the boys get home from school.

I pick up the middle-schoolers and take them out for ice-cream.  We all know -ice cream makes everything better and melts all of your troubles away.  I want to put a smile on their faces and make them think about their friendship instead of some unreciprocated crush on a silly middle-school girl.  It works!  Here is the pretty picture to prove it...

Well before I could get the picture posted good this happens...

Hubby calls me while we are out having ice-cream...
"Um honey...I was wondering if you could meet me real-quick for dinner.  I'm starving.  I haven't eaten all day and I have to come back to the office to finish some quotes."

Really?  Sure Honey!  Let me just drop everything and run right out to meet you for dinner.  It's Valentines day.  Everything will be crowded as hell, so I'm sure there will be no waiting. Oh and these boys?  I guess I'll just leave them here with homework un-touched, because after all our evenings have been running so smoothly lately. They don't need any supervision.  No! I'm not worried at all that one or both of them may have a meltdown and say...try to kill each other while I'm off  having this quick, spontaneous, middle-of-the week dinner out with you! No need to plan ahead for dinner out on a major holiday!  Forget about the dinner I have already picked up so that you wouldn't have to.  Yes -it is waiting for us at home.  But hey, I understand it looks like you won't be home to eat it with us because you have to work late.  No! I'm not  upset!  Really.  This is just the best day ever!

Blue wants his friend to come over and do homework and hangout for dinner with us.  However, his friend's mom has other plans.  They are going out for.  Remember?  She is trying to make this day extra-speical for her boys too!

Well -Blue is disappointed.  As we pull away from their house he starts with negative comments about his plans being ruined to hang out with his friend.

But -we just hung out with your friend for over an hour having ice-cream.  Not.Good.Enough! 

Here we go off on the deep-end.  He is not thinking in the least about what we have just done.  He can only see what he did not get the chance to do.  One thing leads to another and by the time we pull into our driveway he's yelling at me.  Seriously?  This is not happening.  I do not respond favorably.  In fact, I basically kick him out of the house and tell him to go for a walk to cool off.  Where does he go? Right back to his friend's house.  Whatever!  I don't even care at this juncture. 

He has no idea that I have bought him his own single-red rose, dinner and was planning on making homemade Toll-House cookies.  I am hurt and angry at this point, but while he is cooling off -so am I.  I told my self a long time ago, when it comes to these children on the spectrum, give without thought of reciprocation or gratitude.  Do for them because it makes me happy, not because I'm looking for a specific response.  Otherwise, I will often find myself disappointed.

His perspective is different than mine.  He can't see past what he did not get to do in order to see what he did get to do.  It is my job to teach him that.  If he gets a wife someday, she will not take kindly to being brushed off when she has gone out of her way for him. However,  I can't teach him anything during a fit of anger or in the heat of the moment when both of our egos are in danger of being bruised.

So I say all of this to say, when you see those pretty pictures on Facebook, don't be fooled into believing that everyone has this perfectly wonderful little life.  Our teenagers as well as many adults do this for hours on end.  They look at pictures of their school-mates -I won't even call them friends.  They think ...Look at them all having so much fun!  They have it all!

What we are not seeing is the little ugly parts of their lives that are not so fun to look at.  No one wants you to see the family fights, meltdowns, arguments and tears.  They paint the pretty picture and we all buy it.

Well not me!  I am guilty of posting the pretty pictures, but I also write the truth -the good, the bad and the ugly both on Facebook and on this blog.  I may get a lot of flack from some of my family when I do so.  I don't really care.  I'm a writer.  This what I do.  I write about myself and my family and show you the truth -with all of our flaws.  I know it's hard to believe I'm not perfect.  I hope to make you laugh in the process, because my family is hilarious and my life is ludicrous!  What is life really, if you can't laugh at yourself?

I'll paint you a picture alright, but it will not be all pretty.  You see that's one of the wonderful things that I love about art.  In art and in love ...there is no such thing as perfection.

And by the way ...dear husband of mine.  For future reference -Please do not buy me cards with pictures of real people on them.  Who are these people?  I don't know them.  Is that supposed to be me?  I don't get it.  There is now a strange black woman sitting on my dresser. I don't want to look at this stranger.  It distracts from the message.  As a matter of fact ...maybe you should just write me a note. 

Love you madly!
Your Smart-ass Wife

The Single Rose for my love
The picture above I made for him another V-day