Since our Aspie kids have their own special flavor...I thought it would be fun to change up the #YouMightBeAnAutismParentIf hashtag that was originally started on twitter in November 2011, by Elise of Raising Aspergers Kids and@manyhatsmommyMI to #YouMightBeAnAspieParentIf .
Last year the trend took off and connected so many autism parents all over the world. Some of the tweets were funny. Some of them were quite sad, but the best thing that came out of it all, was the connection of so many parents who were able to come together and feel less alone in this special, and sometimes difficult journey. I would love to do the same for our community of Aspergers and HFA parents.
From time to time I list these quirky things about being a parent of an Aspie on my "Confessions" Facebook Page and on my Twitter @KAspergersMom page.
Here are a few that I thought of lately:
#YouMightBeAnAspieParentIf -your kid says, "I was bad at school yesterday. The kids were all being hyper in class. They were making me laugh and drawing me in." But you're not upset...in fact, you're happy because he was included! And for once he wasn't being the fun police! Then he adds, "But I still got my work done." And you think...'Darn why couldn't you be a total rebel?'
#YouMightBeAnAspieParentIf -Your kid gets student of the week because he "always helps others, is respectful and always prepared" @school...yet, he comes home and bites your freakin' head off!
Last year the trend took off and connected so many autism parents all over the world. Some of the tweets were funny. Some of them were quite sad, but the best thing that came out of it all, was the connection of so many parents who were able to come together and feel less alone in this special, and sometimes difficult journey. I would love to do the same for our community of Aspergers and HFA parents.
From time to time I list these quirky things about being a parent of an Aspie on my "Confessions" Facebook Page and on my Twitter @KAspergersMom page.
Here are a few that I thought of lately:
#YouMightBeAnAspieParentIf -your kid says, "I was bad at school yesterday. The kids were all being hyper in class. They were making me laugh and drawing me in." But you're not upset...in fact, you're happy because he was included! And for once he wasn't being the fun police! Then he adds, "But I still got my work done." And you think...'Darn why couldn't you be a total rebel?'
#YouMightBeAnAspieParentIf -Your kid gets student of the week because he "always helps others, is respectful and always prepared" @school...yet, he comes home and bites your freakin' head off!
#YouMightBeAnAspieParentIf -you have to tell your kid, "Hey! Stop talking about politics. You're supposed to be swimming," when he's at the neighborhood pool.
#YouMightBeAnAspieParentIf -your relatives think your parenting style is "Wuss" but you don't really give a shit because you know you're doing your best with the set of cards you've been dealt. Not to mention, your parenting comes from education and research, and trained therapists, not just beating your kids into submission because that's the way you were raised and that's quicker and easier.
#YouMightBeAnAspieParentIf -you cringe every time your phone rings and you see the name of your child's school on the caller i.d. Oh shit! What did he do now?!
#YouMightbeAnAspieParentIf -you love your child so much more when they're asleep and that's the only time you can kiss them without them cringing and wiping it off.
#YouMightbeAnAspieParentIf -you're used to your kid running away...and you don't run after him. You know that he's just taking a cool down period.
#YouMightbeAnAspieParentIf -you have a few wholes that have been punched or kicked in your walls.
#YouMightbeAnAspieParentIf -you've heard your kids say...I just want to laugh like all of the other kids...but I just don't get it and your heart sinks into the bottom of your feet.
#YouMightBeAnAspieParentIf -you have prayed for your child to have at least one friend who accepts them just the way they are.
#YouMightbeAnAspieParentIf -you have a few wholes that have been punched or kicked in your walls.
#YouMightbeAnAspieParentIf -you've heard your kids say...I just want to laugh like all of the other kids...but I just don't get it and your heart sinks into the bottom of your feet.
#YouMightBeAnAspieParentIf -you have prayed for your child to have at least one friend who accepts them just the way they are.
#YouMightbeAnAspieParentIf -you know more about StarWars, airplanes, exotic cars, computers and electronics of any kind...than you EVER wanted to know.
#YouMightbeAnAspieParentIf -you think the term "family vacation" is an oxymoron.
#YouMightbeanAspieParentIf -your kids are teenagers, but you can't leave them home alone for 5 minutes because the police may be called because they are trying to kill each other.
#YouMightbeAnAspieParentIf -you're on a first name basis with the entire school administration and the special education department of your school district and they say, "Oh Shit! It's her again," when
they see you coming.
#YouMightbeAnAspieParentIf -you say out loud, "Lady can you move a little slower!" when you're trying to park the car. When you come back out of the store, your kid is telling the lady, "My Mom says you move really slow."
#YouMightbeAnAspieParentIf -you know for sure that your kid knows every curse word in the English language and he may know a few in French and Spanish.
#YouMightbeanAspieParentIf -your teen comes straight out and asks you will you be mad if they have sex in your house. Or he may have to become a porn star if he can't find a girlfriend when he gets older. (No...that NEVER happened to me!)
#YouMighbeAnAspieParentIf -you know for sure that you have a child who will make the world a better place.
I could go on all day, but I'm going to give you all the chance to join the party. Leave your #YouMightBeAspieParentIf comments below or better yet, lets start the trend again on twitter.
Hugs and Love,
~Karen
#YouMightbeAnAspieParentIf -you think the term "family vacation" is an oxymoron.
#YouMightbeanAspieParentIf -your kids are teenagers, but you can't leave them home alone for 5 minutes because the police may be called because they are trying to kill each other.
#YouMightbeAnAspieParentIf -you're on a first name basis with the entire school administration and the special education department of your school district and they say, "Oh Shit! It's her again," when
they see you coming.
#YouMightbeAnAspieParentIf -you say out loud, "Lady can you move a little slower!" when you're trying to park the car. When you come back out of the store, your kid is telling the lady, "My Mom says you move really slow."
#YouMightbeAnAspieParentIf -you know for sure that your kid knows every curse word in the English language and he may know a few in French and Spanish.
#YouMightbeanAspieParentIf -your teen comes straight out and asks you will you be mad if they have sex in your house. Or he may have to become a porn star if he can't find a girlfriend when he gets older. (No...that NEVER happened to me!)
#YouMighbeAnAspieParentIf -you know for sure that you have a child who will make the world a better place.
I could go on all day, but I'm going to give you all the chance to join the party. Leave your #YouMightBeAspieParentIf comments below or better yet, lets start the trend again on twitter.
Hugs and Love,
~Karen
Adelaide Dupont · 285 weeks ago
And for those of us who knew and appreciated these points in high school to a greater or lesser extent - always good to have a refresher and feel them through the current and future generations who we survived to be able to see.
I especially appreciated points 5, 7 and 10.
And young women not settling or settling down yet is a good thing.
"It's never too late to live our dreams" - but it may be too early for some of them!
And 8 of course.
nicole · 243 weeks ago
Risa · 230 weeks ago
LAH · 221 weeks ago
Maira L. Coral · 216 weeks ago
I was looking for information for my Multi-Genre Disability Research Project from my Early Childhood Special Education class on the web, when suddenly I came across your blog. I started reading this out of curiosity and I want to tell you that as you said yourself, you will not be Amanda Gorman, but you managed to make me shed some tears, perhaps because I felt totally identified with your words, especially in the part that you speak of your son. My son also has Asperger's syndrome, he is 19 years old and he is in the second semester of College. Also like yours, he takes classes from home, likewise my eldest daughter is also taking college classes from her room. At the same time, that I work as a preschool teacher from my kitchen through a computer, my husband sleeps in the room during the day because he works at night. Also in the afternoons I myself take virtual school classes. I am a 51-year-old Latin woman who began to learn the English language as adult, so maybe you find some deficiencies in my writing, however, I was very moved by how proud you express yourself about your son. Referent your mother, I liked the humorous tone that you give when your talk about her, so I did not want to miss this opportunity and stopped my assignments for a moment to let you know that your words do make a difference, since they reach the heart of at least those who have opportunity to read you. I want confess you that is the most long I have written to someone I don't know, because your words inspired me, thank you...
Gavin Bollard · 209 weeks ago
Thanks for this post. I've been very distracted of late and so this was how I found out about our friend Kate. Kate's struggles were very real but they were so constant and so wide-ranging that it was difficult for people around her to address them. I think it's going to take a while longer for me to process all this.
I learned so much from Kate because she was always quick to point out the many injustices in the world. In her glory days, she was very much a crusader and she cared for everyone. Over the years, as her situation took its toll, I came to realise that it was the fact that she couldn't be put in a single specific category, that made the system fail her. She needed help that they weren't set up to provide.
She needed more care and she needed to be less alone. I'm so sorry that this has happened.
For a long while we were corresponding almost every day but a couple of months ago, I realised that she had become so stressed that nearly every interaction I had with her was starting to trigger her. I backed away to give her a bit more space. She only had a little time that she could stand to be online and there were too many things that she wanted to do in that time. I thought that by taking a step back, she could reach out to more people who might be geographically closer and able to assist.
Kate was a beautiful soul and she will be sorely missed by all of us.
diyalabs6192603 11p · 192 weeks ago
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Spoil your cat · 122 weeks ago
Many of these living arrangement aren't good, and many of the people who run those places really don't have the residents' best interest at heart. Those places are like old age homes and foster homes, where you sometimes hear horror stories. They're hard to trust. But then there are good ones, of course.
The best thing for an autistic adult is either to go on living at home or working and renting an apartment and living independently, but that isn't always an option.
Duncan · 112 weeks ago