Wednesday, October 31, 2012

My Husband/MySon

I have been expressly forbidden to write about my husband in this blog.  So lets all pretend this isn't really happening.   I will take this moment to say, that he would probably vehemently disagree with everything written here.  But hey...these are MY Confessions.

This morning's carpool conversation was just to compelling for me not to address here.  Even though I was riding in a car full of 13 year-old boys.  I could feel the presence of my forty-nine year old husband as his words spilled forth from my son's mouth.

The conversation goes like this...

"You know your friends don't like being late and having to rush, which they have to do because of us."
"It's not my fault!"
"You're the person who had to lye back down for a few minutes and who takes 20 minutes in the bathroom, while you're singing and doing voices."
"I DO NOT!  I do not sing or do voices!  That's Red!  You're not in there with me so how do you know?!"
"Um...because I can hear you."
He goes on protesting...yelling!  I am sorry I opened my mouth.  I try to stop the conversation after I've already put it out there in the middle of the street...waiting for the Mack truck to come run over it.  He is clearly annoyed by me pointing

So I have clearly pissed him off and put him in an argumentative, defensive mood. We pick up the twins.  A new conversation begins.  This is where I hear the ghost of my husband...

"I'm really worried about this test today," says Twin 1.  They are taking a sort of practice exam for the PSAT, just to give them an idea of how these kinds of tests go. Yeah...what fun!
"Try not to worry about it.  You'll be fine," says Blue.
"What if I don't know the I just guess or do I leave it blank"
"No...don't leave it blank.  Well...make a knowledgable guess."
"Just give the best possible answer based on what knowledge you have."

Now this is great advice if you have a little knowledge and can make an educated guess.  But if you're like me, when I was in high-school and you have absolutely no just guess...and you guess C.  I remember doing that many times.  It's definitely better than leaving it least in my opinion.

Of course, Blue like my husband,  is very smart,  scientific and logical.  Blue also thinks he knows EVERYTHING!  Can you imagine the two of them in an argument or shall I say, discussion?

Now it's true in many ways Blue probably is smarter than me.  However...I have 35 years on him.  I've been through high school, college, have held a professional license for Real Estate and took said exam for  this license.  Of course, I passed...well...eventually.  I've also had years of work and life experience.  That means something right?

So I interject, "And if you have absolutely no clue what the answer is...guess C."
"NO!!! What are you talking about mom?  First of all you're interrupting me when I'm talking to my friend.  You always interrupt me!" This is a classic line straight out of his father's mouth!
"If you answer C you only have a 25% chance of being right!  Don't do that Twin!"
"Actually, I think it's slightly more than 25%.  I remember reading that somewhere," I reply.
"This is the 21st Century Mom! This is not the 1900's.  This is basic math!  You ALWAYS disagree with me!" Another classic line from hubby! Because I'm always supposed to agree right? 
"This is what we call a discussion son. I am allowed to share my opinion based on my life experience.  It's called a conversation.  You know where people share different ideas."  Also a classic line from every argument I've ever had with my husband! With hubby, I  usually  also through in a line about taking Philosophy in college, where I learned that you have show me some proof about what you're saying.  I don't have to just accept what you say without any evidence.  Yeah...he loves that! 

You see...hubby likes to give these soliloquies where he goes on and on for 5, 10 even 20 minutes argument for his point of view.  You are not supposed to interject, or disagree...just listen (even if you are being accused of non-truths, and inaccuracies.  I should be like President Obama, taking notes and looking disengaged during the debate, so I don't forget my point when it's finally my turn to talk.

I tell Blue...I'm going to look up the statistic on-line.  To which he tells me...there is no point in looking up.  He knows he is right.
This is what found this on Wiki-Answers:

"I remember, in college, reading a study where someone took tens of thousands of multiple-choice tests from different disciplines and studies. The result was that, on a standard 4-choice test, the letter "C" came up more than 28% of the time as an answer.

This was due to "writer's bias," and the author assumed it was because the letter "C" - or the third choice - would "be hidden" as a selection.  A
s a high-school teacher and an Ohio graduation test-prep tutor, I tell my kids that, if they come across a question where they absolutely can't use deduction and/or find an educated guess..pick the letter "C" - you have at least a 1 in 4 chance of being right, and if you consistently pick "C" in these circumstances (hopefully only once or twice per test!), you have a slightly mathematically higher chance of getting that question right... maybe only a fraction higher, but at that point, "Play the numbers!"

I also found evidence to support Blue's answer of 25%.  But I won't print that here.'s my blog damn it!

The point is...arguing with my son is almost exactly the same as arguing with my husband.  Yes...I am a common denominator in these arguments.  I do have a tendency to look at and think about different perspectives.  Hence, one of the reasons hubby says I always disagree with him.  I often point out the perspectives that others may have. You see...I love a good exchange of ideas.  I am the first to admit that I don't know everything. However, I can learn from a good conversation or argument.  To learn you have to be willing to actually listen to the other party with an open mind. Hopefully, you don't fall asleep while they go on and on for 20 minutes.

It is my biased opinion that both husband and son see the world from their own perspective (Aspie and undiagnosed Aspie)...and me not being that way makes me a serious pain in the ass!!!