Harry is our now 5 year-old Maltese. The longer Harry lives with us...I am convinced that he (like all of the other boys who live in this house) has a touch of Aspergers.
Here's why:
1. He interrupts my conversations. If I have a friend over, or I'm on the phone, he yaps and tries to get all of the attention as if he is the most important person in the room.
2. He has no sense of personal space. If I'm sitting down, he can't just sit accross from me or next to me, but he has to be touching some part of my body. Red has told me there's no such thing as personal space. Harry apparently, feels the same way.
3. Everytime I pull out my laptop to type...he comes over, stands on two legs and puts his paws on the keyboard, as if to say, "What about me? Pat attention to me! Don't you know it's all about me all the time?"
4. As soon as I get busy doing something, like sitting down for breakfast or lunch, all of a sudden he needs to go potty. He's like, Hello!...Focus on me please. I'm over here! I need you right now! What you are doing is not as important as me.
That's the exact same thing Red says to me when he comes into my room and I'm watching a show or writing. "Stop looking at that t.v. Look at me!" Even though he just came in to repeat something to me that he's already said about 25 times that day.
5. Harry is impulsive. Even though he knows better than to run across the street -if he sees something or someone that he just has to talk to...off he goes. (Luckily we live on a quiet street.) He comes back humbly, knowing he was wrong and that he is in trouble. You know the infamous, "I'm sorry." Like Red says when he knows he's going to do the exact same thing the next time. That doesn't keep me from giving him a bop on the nose and a time out!
Harry and Oliver (brothers) from the same litter
Young Harry
I don't mean to paint Aspergers with a broad stroke. Every person with Aspergers is different right down to the two children I gave birth to. I do see these traits in both of them, some more in one child than the other. However, the essence of these traits can be found in both of them. Maybe it's not them, maybe it's me. Maybe I have spoiled everyone in this house so much, that they all want my attention all of the time. Maybe it's just the air we breath in this house, but probably not.
Blue and Harry, 2009
Aspergers or not...I love Harry, as I love my Aspergers boys. The good thing about Harry is that he never gets mad at me. He accepts discipline humbly. He is always happy to see me and sad to see me go. Best of all -he's the only one in the house that doesn't talk back!
Editorial note: This was previously published here on "Confessions" a few years ago. It still holds true today. There is no such thing as personal space in this house! Right down to Harry sniffing at the door when I'm using the bathroom!
Logging you in...
Adelaide Dupont · 285 weeks ago
And for those of us who knew and appreciated these points in high school to a greater or lesser extent - always good to have a refresher and feel them through the current and future generations who we survived to be able to see.
I especially appreciated points 5, 7 and 10.
And young women not settling or settling down yet is a good thing.
"It's never too late to live our dreams" - but it may be too early for some of them!
And 8 of course.
nicole · 243 weeks ago
Risa · 230 weeks ago
LAH · 221 weeks ago
Maira L. Coral · 216 weeks ago
I was looking for information for my Multi-Genre Disability Research Project from my Early Childhood Special Education class on the web, when suddenly I came across your blog. I started reading this out of curiosity and I want to tell you that as you said yourself, you will not be Amanda Gorman, but you managed to make me shed some tears, perhaps because I felt totally identified with your words, especially in the part that you speak of your son. My son also has Asperger's syndrome, he is 19 years old and he is in the second semester of College. Also like yours, he takes classes from home, likewise my eldest daughter is also taking college classes from her room. At the same time, that I work as a preschool teacher from my kitchen through a computer, my husband sleeps in the room during the day because he works at night. Also in the afternoons I myself take virtual school classes. I am a 51-year-old Latin woman who began to learn the English language as adult, so maybe you find some deficiencies in my writing, however, I was very moved by how proud you express yourself about your son. Referent your mother, I liked the humorous tone that you give when your talk about her, so I did not want to miss this opportunity and stopped my assignments for a moment to let you know that your words do make a difference, since they reach the heart of at least those who have opportunity to read you. I want confess you that is the most long I have written to someone I don't know, because your words inspired me, thank you...
Gavin Bollard · 209 weeks ago
Thanks for this post. I've been very distracted of late and so this was how I found out about our friend Kate. Kate's struggles were very real but they were so constant and so wide-ranging that it was difficult for people around her to address them. I think it's going to take a while longer for me to process all this.
I learned so much from Kate because she was always quick to point out the many injustices in the world. In her glory days, she was very much a crusader and she cared for everyone. Over the years, as her situation took its toll, I came to realise that it was the fact that she couldn't be put in a single specific category, that made the system fail her. She needed help that they weren't set up to provide.
She needed more care and she needed to be less alone. I'm so sorry that this has happened.
For a long while we were corresponding almost every day but a couple of months ago, I realised that she had become so stressed that nearly every interaction I had with her was starting to trigger her. I backed away to give her a bit more space. She only had a little time that she could stand to be online and there were too many things that she wanted to do in that time. I thought that by taking a step back, she could reach out to more people who might be geographically closer and able to assist.
Kate was a beautiful soul and she will be sorely missed by all of us.
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Spoil your cat · 122 weeks ago
Many of these living arrangement aren't good, and many of the people who run those places really don't have the residents' best interest at heart. Those places are like old age homes and foster homes, where you sometimes hear horror stories. They're hard to trust. But then there are good ones, of course.
The best thing for an autistic adult is either to go on living at home or working and renting an apartment and living independently, but that isn't always an option.
Duncan · 112 weeks ago