"That will be $59.00 Mam."
I looked her kind of like she was crazy. I knew right away it was an odd amount.
I ask, "Are these name brand or generic?"
"They're generic."
"Well that can't be the right price."
"Oh...do you have insurance?"
Hell yeah...I have insurance. Lucky for me!
This was the first time I have used this particular pharmacy for my husband. Not because I like this pharmacy. I am actually forced to use them by our lovely insurance carrier. They don't have the insurance on file for hubby, who hardly ever gets sick and even less...actually take medicine.
I hand her my insurance card and the price comes out to $10.00
Now that's a lot more like it!
Instantly, I think of my boys. If that had been one of them...and the clerk had made the same error...they would have fumbled around and paid her the $59.00...no questions asked, or they may have walked away without the medicine.
The boys take what people say at face value and don't question it if they seem honest. Why would an honest looking person lie...or make a mistake? They're an authority figure. They are the professional. They must know what they're talking about right?
Another example:
Blue really does try to be independent. The other day he wants to go inside and order his own pizza at Little Ceasar's....or as I call it, Little Yucky's.
"It's only $5.00 Mom!"
He had it at a birthday party a while ago and now he swears by it. I give him a $10.00 bill. I say explicitly, "Pizza and soda...that's it! No extras."
He comes back with pizza, soda and breadsticks and only $1.00 in change.
"What happened?" I ask.
"They said I have to get the special. It would save me money."
These little common sense financial decisions are the things that freak me out about their future. You can't believe every advertisement. You can't trust every body and take what they say at face value. You have to always be thinking and be quick on your feet, otherwise you can be duped out of your money or spend needlessly.
They don't teach everyday finance in school. They don't teach common sense. This leaves it up to us. The parents. I don't know about you...but my kids hate learning anything from me. Of course, that doesn't keep me from trying and dissecting these financial common sense matters, in order to keep them thinking and hopefully learning a thing or two.
Recently, I felt a little more reassured about Red's future when his Video Tech mentor said this about his most recent project, "I have worked with college interns that are not this talented! He could get an assistant editing job right now paying $20. to $30. an hour. And the best thing is that he is self-taught. Which means he can teach himself on the job. Employers love that!"
(By the way...this lovely woman has a son with Aspergers, so she gets Red and better yet, she won't let me pay her for her time! How blessed are we?!!!)
So alas...there is light at the end of the tunnel. Maybe...just maybe, I will get this boy out of my house someday! Now we just need to finish high school with out going totally beserk about not having a girlfriend! And...figure out a way to teach him some common sense.
Blue...I don't worry about as much. I can totally see him going to college. I can see him driving and eventually being very mature and responsible. The literalness and believing everything that people say...I hope will get better with time and maturity and experience.
Yesterday, I read the funniest blog by Aaron Liken. The post is titled "Anyone Can Be Fired". It's about the literal mind of an Aspie. I felt so guilty for laughing so hard that tears were falling, about what he thought as a child about people getting fired. He accurately describes the literal thinking that many people on the spectrum experience. It's a must read.
There really should be a high school class on Literal Finance 101, where they teach you how to spend money wisely and not waste your precious dollars. Money really does not grow on trees or get magically dispensed from the ATM. Heck ...my 24 year-old is not on the spectrum. He could still use a class like that...and he's in his last year of college!
You can support my blog and buy Aaron's Liken's Book, "Finding Kansas" by clicking here.
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Adelaide Dupont · 285 weeks ago
And for those of us who knew and appreciated these points in high school to a greater or lesser extent - always good to have a refresher and feel them through the current and future generations who we survived to be able to see.
I especially appreciated points 5, 7 and 10.
And young women not settling or settling down yet is a good thing.
"It's never too late to live our dreams" - but it may be too early for some of them!
And 8 of course.
nicole · 243 weeks ago
Risa · 230 weeks ago
LAH · 221 weeks ago
Maira L. Coral · 216 weeks ago
I was looking for information for my Multi-Genre Disability Research Project from my Early Childhood Special Education class on the web, when suddenly I came across your blog. I started reading this out of curiosity and I want to tell you that as you said yourself, you will not be Amanda Gorman, but you managed to make me shed some tears, perhaps because I felt totally identified with your words, especially in the part that you speak of your son. My son also has Asperger's syndrome, he is 19 years old and he is in the second semester of College. Also like yours, he takes classes from home, likewise my eldest daughter is also taking college classes from her room. At the same time, that I work as a preschool teacher from my kitchen through a computer, my husband sleeps in the room during the day because he works at night. Also in the afternoons I myself take virtual school classes. I am a 51-year-old Latin woman who began to learn the English language as adult, so maybe you find some deficiencies in my writing, however, I was very moved by how proud you express yourself about your son. Referent your mother, I liked the humorous tone that you give when your talk about her, so I did not want to miss this opportunity and stopped my assignments for a moment to let you know that your words do make a difference, since they reach the heart of at least those who have opportunity to read you. I want confess you that is the most long I have written to someone I don't know, because your words inspired me, thank you...
Gavin Bollard · 209 weeks ago
Thanks for this post. I've been very distracted of late and so this was how I found out about our friend Kate. Kate's struggles were very real but they were so constant and so wide-ranging that it was difficult for people around her to address them. I think it's going to take a while longer for me to process all this.
I learned so much from Kate because she was always quick to point out the many injustices in the world. In her glory days, she was very much a crusader and she cared for everyone. Over the years, as her situation took its toll, I came to realise that it was the fact that she couldn't be put in a single specific category, that made the system fail her. She needed help that they weren't set up to provide.
She needed more care and she needed to be less alone. I'm so sorry that this has happened.
For a long while we were corresponding almost every day but a couple of months ago, I realised that she had become so stressed that nearly every interaction I had with her was starting to trigger her. I backed away to give her a bit more space. She only had a little time that she could stand to be online and there were too many things that she wanted to do in that time. I thought that by taking a step back, she could reach out to more people who might be geographically closer and able to assist.
Kate was a beautiful soul and she will be sorely missed by all of us.
diyalabs6192603 11p · 192 weeks ago
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Spoil your cat · 122 weeks ago
Many of these living arrangement aren't good, and many of the people who run those places really don't have the residents' best interest at heart. Those places are like old age homes and foster homes, where you sometimes hear horror stories. They're hard to trust. But then there are good ones, of course.
The best thing for an autistic adult is either to go on living at home or working and renting an apartment and living independently, but that isn't always an option.
Duncan · 112 weeks ago