Update June, 2014-
This was originally posted in June, 2012. The subject of girls, girlfriend's and sex has long been on the menu. It's just so funny how Red has changed. He now considers himself a "hardcore Christian" who believes that sex is to be saved for marriage. Very recently, he started seeing a young lady, who according to him, has the same views.
Now who knows ...if they really get into dating, their feelings may change. I'm not naive. Been there done that. But this post is proof that our children do keep evolving, maturing and growing.
The irony of this conversation below ...is that Red and his friend had it on the way to church!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I can hardly catch my breath from all of the comings and goings that I have been responsible for this summer. I have to keep them busy and on somewhat of a schedule otherwise, they will drive me completely nuts instead of the usual half-way-to crazy. Swimming, working out at the rec center, hanging with friends on top of half day camp for Blue and 1/2 day vocational training for Red. In between all of normal refereeing of fights and general madness.
What never ceases to amaze me is there sense of entitlement, as if I owe it to them to keep them stimulated and entertained every second of every day. It's not good enough that you drove me back and forth to camp today, where are we going next? And what do you mean you don't have time to take me to point A, B and C? Well, why not?
Do I owe you an explanation? Uh...no. I do not.
Today is particularly busy. On top of my normal runs, I have to pick Red and his friend up to take them to the church for a youth outing. In the car they are conversing as if there is not an adult...a woman, a mother no less, anywhere within earshot. Here's the conversation.
Red says, "Man...I want a girlfriend so bad. But I want a HOT girl not an ugly girl."
His friend says, "Dude...you should just want a girl who is nice to you, not just some random HOT girl that's going to treat you like crap."
Red "The girls at my school only like you if you're a football player and you have a six pack. That's why I'm working out because I'm too fat."
"That shouldn't even matter. You need to stop trying to go after these cheerleaders and just go with a normal girl."
Red -"But the cheerleaders are the Hottest. Come on Dude! Sexually, speaking...I don't want to make out with some ugly girl with cracky lips. Who would want to do that?"
This is followed by ruckus laughter.
His friend then says, "You know what your problem is dude? You need to stop looking at those girls on those videos. Every time you come to my house...that's what you want to to."
Red replies "That's not me! That's you! I don't look at porn all the time."
HELLO! I'm sitting right here!
"Yes you do."
"It's not even really porn. It's just hot girls in bikinis.It's just not fair! Why do girls only go for the boys with six packs and the athletes?"
"That's not all girls."
"It is at my school."
Friend says, "D -goes to your school. He has a girlfriend and he's skinny!"
"Yeah -but he has an ugly girlfriend."
I finally interject into the conversation, "You know why you don't have a girlfriend? Because you don't want one for the right reasons. You have no clue as to go about getting one. And God isn't going to bless you with one until you figure that all out. You're not ready!"
"What do you mean?"
"I just said what I mean. First of all if the first words that come out of your mouth are, 'Do you have a boyfriend?' when you first meet the girl. She's going to shut you down right there. She's knows you're scoping her out and your asking personal questions that are none of your business. As soon as you ask that question...she can't get away from you fast enough."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean get out of the car. We're here."
"Mom..."
"Yes."
"Can I try out for football this year?"
"Good bye Red and I hope your conversation is more appropriate once you get inside of the church."
He brings a whole new meaning to the term "No shame to my game!"
This was originally posted in June, 2012. The subject of girls, girlfriend's and sex has long been on the menu. It's just so funny how Red has changed. He now considers himself a "hardcore Christian" who believes that sex is to be saved for marriage. Very recently, he started seeing a young lady, who according to him, has the same views.
Now who knows ...if they really get into dating, their feelings may change. I'm not naive. Been there done that. But this post is proof that our children do keep evolving, maturing and growing.
The irony of this conversation below ...is that Red and his friend had it on the way to church!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I can hardly catch my breath from all of the comings and goings that I have been responsible for this summer. I have to keep them busy and on somewhat of a schedule otherwise, they will drive me completely nuts instead of the usual half-way-to crazy. Swimming, working out at the rec center, hanging with friends on top of half day camp for Blue and 1/2 day vocational training for Red. In between all of normal refereeing of fights and general madness.
What never ceases to amaze me is there sense of entitlement, as if I owe it to them to keep them stimulated and entertained every second of every day. It's not good enough that you drove me back and forth to camp today, where are we going next? And what do you mean you don't have time to take me to point A, B and C? Well, why not?
Do I owe you an explanation? Uh...no. I do not.
Today is particularly busy. On top of my normal runs, I have to pick Red and his friend up to take them to the church for a youth outing. In the car they are conversing as if there is not an adult...a woman, a mother no less, anywhere within earshot. Here's the conversation.
Red says, "Man...I want a girlfriend so bad. But I want a HOT girl not an ugly girl."
His friend says, "Dude...you should just want a girl who is nice to you, not just some random HOT girl that's going to treat you like crap."
Red "The girls at my school only like you if you're a football player and you have a six pack. That's why I'm working out because I'm too fat."
"That shouldn't even matter. You need to stop trying to go after these cheerleaders and just go with a normal girl."
Red -"But the cheerleaders are the Hottest. Come on Dude! Sexually, speaking...I don't want to make out with some ugly girl with cracky lips. Who would want to do that?"
This is followed by ruckus laughter.
His friend then says, "You know what your problem is dude? You need to stop looking at those girls on those videos. Every time you come to my house...that's what you want to to."
Red replies "That's not me! That's you! I don't look at porn all the time."
HELLO! I'm sitting right here!
"Yes you do."
"It's not even really porn. It's just hot girls in bikinis.It's just not fair! Why do girls only go for the boys with six packs and the athletes?"
"That's not all girls."
"It is at my school."
Friend says, "D -goes to your school. He has a girlfriend and he's skinny!"
"Yeah -but he has an ugly girlfriend."
I finally interject into the conversation, "You know why you don't have a girlfriend? Because you don't want one for the right reasons. You have no clue as to go about getting one. And God isn't going to bless you with one until you figure that all out. You're not ready!"
"What do you mean?"
"I just said what I mean. First of all if the first words that come out of your mouth are, 'Do you have a boyfriend?' when you first meet the girl. She's going to shut you down right there. She's knows you're scoping her out and your asking personal questions that are none of your business. As soon as you ask that question...she can't get away from you fast enough."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean get out of the car. We're here."
"Mom..."
"Yes."
"Can I try out for football this year?"
"Good bye Red and I hope your conversation is more appropriate once you get inside of the church."
He brings a whole new meaning to the term "No shame to my game!"
Logging you in...
Adelaide Dupont · 285 weeks ago
And for those of us who knew and appreciated these points in high school to a greater or lesser extent - always good to have a refresher and feel them through the current and future generations who we survived to be able to see.
I especially appreciated points 5, 7 and 10.
And young women not settling or settling down yet is a good thing.
"It's never too late to live our dreams" - but it may be too early for some of them!
And 8 of course.
nicole · 243 weeks ago
Risa · 230 weeks ago
LAH · 221 weeks ago
Maira L. Coral · 216 weeks ago
I was looking for information for my Multi-Genre Disability Research Project from my Early Childhood Special Education class on the web, when suddenly I came across your blog. I started reading this out of curiosity and I want to tell you that as you said yourself, you will not be Amanda Gorman, but you managed to make me shed some tears, perhaps because I felt totally identified with your words, especially in the part that you speak of your son. My son also has Asperger's syndrome, he is 19 years old and he is in the second semester of College. Also like yours, he takes classes from home, likewise my eldest daughter is also taking college classes from her room. At the same time, that I work as a preschool teacher from my kitchen through a computer, my husband sleeps in the room during the day because he works at night. Also in the afternoons I myself take virtual school classes. I am a 51-year-old Latin woman who began to learn the English language as adult, so maybe you find some deficiencies in my writing, however, I was very moved by how proud you express yourself about your son. Referent your mother, I liked the humorous tone that you give when your talk about her, so I did not want to miss this opportunity and stopped my assignments for a moment to let you know that your words do make a difference, since they reach the heart of at least those who have opportunity to read you. I want confess you that is the most long I have written to someone I don't know, because your words inspired me, thank you...
Gavin Bollard · 209 weeks ago
Thanks for this post. I've been very distracted of late and so this was how I found out about our friend Kate. Kate's struggles were very real but they were so constant and so wide-ranging that it was difficult for people around her to address them. I think it's going to take a while longer for me to process all this.
I learned so much from Kate because she was always quick to point out the many injustices in the world. In her glory days, she was very much a crusader and she cared for everyone. Over the years, as her situation took its toll, I came to realise that it was the fact that she couldn't be put in a single specific category, that made the system fail her. She needed help that they weren't set up to provide.
She needed more care and she needed to be less alone. I'm so sorry that this has happened.
For a long while we were corresponding almost every day but a couple of months ago, I realised that she had become so stressed that nearly every interaction I had with her was starting to trigger her. I backed away to give her a bit more space. She only had a little time that she could stand to be online and there were too many things that she wanted to do in that time. I thought that by taking a step back, she could reach out to more people who might be geographically closer and able to assist.
Kate was a beautiful soul and she will be sorely missed by all of us.
diyalabs6192603 11p · 192 weeks ago
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Spoil your cat · 121 weeks ago
Many of these living arrangement aren't good, and many of the people who run those places really don't have the residents' best interest at heart. Those places are like old age homes and foster homes, where you sometimes hear horror stories. They're hard to trust. But then there are good ones, of course.
The best thing for an autistic adult is either to go on living at home or working and renting an apartment and living independently, but that isn't always an option.
Duncan · 112 weeks ago