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Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Hot Girls

I can hardly catch my breath from all of the comings and goings that I have been responsible for this summer.  I have to keep them busy and on somewhat of a schedule otherwise, they will drive me completely nuts instead of the usual half-way-to crazy.  Swimming, working out at the rec center, hanging with friends on top of half day camp for Blue and 1/2 day vocational training for Red.  In between all of normal refereeing of fights and general madness.

What never ceases to amaze me is there sense of entitlement, as if I owe it to them to keep them stimulated and entertained every second of every day.  It's not good enough that you drove me back and forth to camp today, where are we going next?  And what do you mean you don't have time to take me to point A, B and C?  Well, why not?

Do I owe you an explanation? Uh...no.  I do not.

Today is particularly busy.  On top of my normal runs, I have to pick Red and his friend up to take them to the church for a youth outing.  In the car they are conversing as if there is not an adult...a woman, a mother no less, anywhere within earshot.  Here's the conversation.

"Man...I want a girlfriend so bad.  But I want a HOT girl not an ugly girl." -Red
"Dude...you should just want a girl who is nice to you, not just some random HOT girl that's going to treat you like crap."-Friend
"The girls at my school only like you if you're a football player and you have a six pack.  That's why I'm working out because I'm too fat."-Red
"That shouldn't even matter.  You need to stop trying to go after these cheerleaders and just go with a normal girl." -Friend
"But the cheerleaders are the Hottest.  Come on Dude!  Sexually, speaking...I don't want to make out with some ugly girl with cracky lips. Who would want to do that?" -Red
This is followed by ruckus laughter.
"You know what your problem is dude?  You need to stop looking at those girls on those videos.  Every time you come to my house...that's what you want to to."-Friend
"That's not me!  That's you! I don't look at porn all the time." -Red
 HELLO! I'm sitting right here!
"Yes you do." -Friend
"It's not even really porn.  It's just hot girls in bikinis." -Red
 Clueless!
 "It's just not fair!  Why do girls only go for the boys with six packs and the athletes?" -Red
"That's not all girls." -Friend
"It is at my school." -Red
"D -goes to your school.  He has a girlfriend and he's skinny!" -Friend
"Yeah -he has an ugly girlfriend." -Red

I finally interject into the conversation.
"You know why you don't have a girlfriend?  Because you don't want one for the right reasons.  You have no clue as to go about getting one.  And God isn't going to bless you with one until you figure that all out.  You're not ready!"
"What do you mean?"
"I just said what I mean.  First of all if the first words that come out of your mouth are, 'Do you have a boyfriend?' when you first meet the girl.  She's going to shut you down right there.  She's knows you're scoping her out and your asking personal questions that are none of your business. As soon as you ask that question...she can't get away from you fast enough."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean get out of the car.  We're here."
"Mom..."
"Yes."
"Can I try out for football this year?"
"Good bye Red and I hope your conversation is more appropriate once you get inside of the church."

He brings a whole new meaning to the term "No shame to my game!"