Editorial Note: If you haven't played hookie lately...you really should. Find a beautiful place and get lost.
That worked out really well. I had my first boyfriend in 10th grade. I would sneak out to see him...giving her all kinds of lame stories. There was plenty of kissing...luckily, I was too afraid to have sex. I would even play hookie to hang out with him and our group of friends. I did everything that I could possibly get away with...all without my mother's knowledge. Including seeing my first rated R movie, "Saturday Night Fever" with a group of friends from my neighborhood.
I promised myself to never be THAT mother. I want my kids to be able to talk to me and ask me about anything. Well...little did I know that I would have to Aspergers kids who do actually talk to me about EVERYTHING. In fact, my 16-year old son informed me the other day about his research on porn. "I looked it up on Wikepedia," he says very matter-of-fact. Great! That's just great.
I actually allowed him to watch a rated R movie "Snakes on a Plane" the other day here at home with his friend. I could have made him go through the trouble of sneaking and watching it at his friend's house. But why go there? Apparently, the rating is for language, one scene sexual in nature, intense terror and violence.
When I turned 18, I finally told my mother, "You know, I would rather just tell you what I'm doing rather than sneak around all over town telling you I'm at point A when I'm really at point Z. I'm going to find a way to do what I want to do, so I may as well be honest with you." Her bottom lip dropped down to the floor. She couldn't believe my audacity, but things changed after that conversation.
I guess there is still apart of that little girl within me who wants to do what I want to do, without having to answer to anyone. I spend so much of my life doing for other people, being the responsible mother, wife, daughter and friend. Sometimes, I just want to sneak away and do my own thing.
Playing hookie is still something I do every now and then. Lately, things have been so crazy, I haven't had the opportunity to do it. Unfortunately, I'm not doing anything too exciting like sneaking off to make out with a boyfriend. Although, wouldn't that be fun??? I sneak out for lunch, happy hour, shopping or to the movies. (Ssh! Don't tell anybody.) I use cash for all payments so that my steps can not be traced. When anyone asks questions or calls me and says, "Where are you?" I simply answer, "I'm not at liberty to say."
The boys have been out of school for the first 3 days of this week thanks to teachers in-service training. Essentially, we had a 5 day weekend. Yes...that's right...TORTURE! Thursday morning, I get them off to school. I decide...this is it. This is my day to escape. Friday I already have an appointment scheduled for my mom, I have to take the dog to the groomer and I have an appointment for myself Friday afternoon. I have not been to the movies...alone, in I can't remember when. I am going today!
Red calls at 11:55 a.m. "Mom...you forgot to give me lunch."
Great! I have to run over there to bring his lunch. I throw on a pair of sweats and tell my mom, "I have to take Red lunch and then I have some errands."
Off to the movie theatre I go. No makeup, no shower...wearing sweat pants...but I made it! In case you're wondering I saw "Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close", which of course makes me think about my husband and my children. I cry...but at least, I escaped.
Later that evening, I am doing my normal mommy duties, taking Blue to the library, running to the grocery store, running home to make sure Red eats and takes his meds, running back to the library to pick up Blue. Making dinner for my husband. Suddenly, my mom stops me in my tracks and says, "Are you hiding something from me?"
"What do you mean? Like what? You mean my rendezvous with my boyfriend this afternoon?" HA HA!
I never did answer her question. The last time I checked...I was 46 years old. Do I have to disclose my whereabouts to my mother, my husband and my children at all times? I don't think so!
Logging you in...
Adelaide Dupont · 285 weeks ago
And for those of us who knew and appreciated these points in high school to a greater or lesser extent - always good to have a refresher and feel them through the current and future generations who we survived to be able to see.
I especially appreciated points 5, 7 and 10.
And young women not settling or settling down yet is a good thing.
"It's never too late to live our dreams" - but it may be too early for some of them!
And 8 of course.
nicole · 243 weeks ago
Risa · 230 weeks ago
LAH · 221 weeks ago
Maira L. Coral · 216 weeks ago
I was looking for information for my Multi-Genre Disability Research Project from my Early Childhood Special Education class on the web, when suddenly I came across your blog. I started reading this out of curiosity and I want to tell you that as you said yourself, you will not be Amanda Gorman, but you managed to make me shed some tears, perhaps because I felt totally identified with your words, especially in the part that you speak of your son. My son also has Asperger's syndrome, he is 19 years old and he is in the second semester of College. Also like yours, he takes classes from home, likewise my eldest daughter is also taking college classes from her room. At the same time, that I work as a preschool teacher from my kitchen through a computer, my husband sleeps in the room during the day because he works at night. Also in the afternoons I myself take virtual school classes. I am a 51-year-old Latin woman who began to learn the English language as adult, so maybe you find some deficiencies in my writing, however, I was very moved by how proud you express yourself about your son. Referent your mother, I liked the humorous tone that you give when your talk about her, so I did not want to miss this opportunity and stopped my assignments for a moment to let you know that your words do make a difference, since they reach the heart of at least those who have opportunity to read you. I want confess you that is the most long I have written to someone I don't know, because your words inspired me, thank you...
Gavin Bollard · 209 weeks ago
Thanks for this post. I've been very distracted of late and so this was how I found out about our friend Kate. Kate's struggles were very real but they were so constant and so wide-ranging that it was difficult for people around her to address them. I think it's going to take a while longer for me to process all this.
I learned so much from Kate because she was always quick to point out the many injustices in the world. In her glory days, she was very much a crusader and she cared for everyone. Over the years, as her situation took its toll, I came to realise that it was the fact that she couldn't be put in a single specific category, that made the system fail her. She needed help that they weren't set up to provide.
She needed more care and she needed to be less alone. I'm so sorry that this has happened.
For a long while we were corresponding almost every day but a couple of months ago, I realised that she had become so stressed that nearly every interaction I had with her was starting to trigger her. I backed away to give her a bit more space. She only had a little time that she could stand to be online and there were too many things that she wanted to do in that time. I thought that by taking a step back, she could reach out to more people who might be geographically closer and able to assist.
Kate was a beautiful soul and she will be sorely missed by all of us.
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Spoil your cat · 122 weeks ago
Many of these living arrangement aren't good, and many of the people who run those places really don't have the residents' best interest at heart. Those places are like old age homes and foster homes, where you sometimes hear horror stories. They're hard to trust. But then there are good ones, of course.
The best thing for an autistic adult is either to go on living at home or working and renting an apartment and living independently, but that isn't always an option.
Duncan · 112 weeks ago