For instance, "I really want to make out with a girl!" Red
"I never...ever want to have sex!" Blue
"Mom, why are you putting on that makeup? No one looks at you." -Slim (my oldest) Yeah...lovely!
Red also asks me the funniest questions, "Mom...Why do you think I'm so lazy?" Wow! He actually admits to being lazy. Part of it is just being a teenage boy. He doesn't want to do chores. Doesn't want to do homework. Barely wants to take a shower. Yet, he wants us to give the best of everything. Boy is he going to be in for a rude awakening when real adult life sneaks up and slaps him in the face!
I do think he's lazy. However, I don't want him to know that. Unfortunately, I can see my lack of follow-thru in him. At his age, I only wanted to do enough to get by, especially if it wasn't a subject I was thrilled about i.e. Algebra or History. However, if I loved the subject I would give it my all 110% i.e. English, Composition and Yearbook. I did what I had to do to pass, but I certainly did not enjoy it or try to excel in it. I do however, give my all to any job I have now, especially motherhood. His dad and his brother are two of the hardest working people I know, so I can't blame this one on Dad.
This was my response to the lazy question. "You're not lazy. You only what to do what YOU WANT to do. If it's not fun...or interesting to you, you don't want to do it. It's all about MOTIVATION." (Of which he has very little.) I pray that it will show itself in him eventually. I still thought it was pretty funny that he actually asked the question.
His eyes barely open this morning, as I try to wake him he asks, "Why do I have to be forced to go to school? And why does America care about it?" Obviously, he either went to sleep thinking about this or he dreamed about it. He wasn't even fully awake.
"You have to go to school because America doesn't want a bunch of criminals who have no education or jobs running around the streets. The government doesn't want to take care of people with no education...and neither do I. So get up!"
*******
Yesterday Blue, comes to me and says, "I have autism right? Autism is a neurological condition, so why don't I see a Neurologist?"
Wow! I'm blown away by this one. It turns out he was talking to a friend who is also on the spectrum, who does see a Neurologist. I received Blue's diagnoses after getting Red's. I realized that they have many of same traits, although in many ways they are very different. We see a Psychologist and a Psychiatrist, but it's been difficult to get into to see a pediatric Neurologist. I finally have an appointment coming up this month. I made this appointment 6 months ago.
I want a second opinion with regards to treatment for the boys. The trial and error process of medications to "help" with depression and outbursts is frustrating. I am hoping to get some new insight and suggestions on ways to help them manage. I guess Blue wants to make sure I'm on the job.
My kids may asks a lot of questions and say a lot of unexpected things. One thing for sure...they keep me on my toes.
Logging you in...
Adelaide Dupont · 285 weeks ago
And for those of us who knew and appreciated these points in high school to a greater or lesser extent - always good to have a refresher and feel them through the current and future generations who we survived to be able to see.
I especially appreciated points 5, 7 and 10.
And young women not settling or settling down yet is a good thing.
"It's never too late to live our dreams" - but it may be too early for some of them!
And 8 of course.
nicole · 243 weeks ago
Risa · 230 weeks ago
LAH · 221 weeks ago
Maira L. Coral · 216 weeks ago
I was looking for information for my Multi-Genre Disability Research Project from my Early Childhood Special Education class on the web, when suddenly I came across your blog. I started reading this out of curiosity and I want to tell you that as you said yourself, you will not be Amanda Gorman, but you managed to make me shed some tears, perhaps because I felt totally identified with your words, especially in the part that you speak of your son. My son also has Asperger's syndrome, he is 19 years old and he is in the second semester of College. Also like yours, he takes classes from home, likewise my eldest daughter is also taking college classes from her room. At the same time, that I work as a preschool teacher from my kitchen through a computer, my husband sleeps in the room during the day because he works at night. Also in the afternoons I myself take virtual school classes. I am a 51-year-old Latin woman who began to learn the English language as adult, so maybe you find some deficiencies in my writing, however, I was very moved by how proud you express yourself about your son. Referent your mother, I liked the humorous tone that you give when your talk about her, so I did not want to miss this opportunity and stopped my assignments for a moment to let you know that your words do make a difference, since they reach the heart of at least those who have opportunity to read you. I want confess you that is the most long I have written to someone I don't know, because your words inspired me, thank you...
Gavin Bollard · 209 weeks ago
Thanks for this post. I've been very distracted of late and so this was how I found out about our friend Kate. Kate's struggles were very real but they were so constant and so wide-ranging that it was difficult for people around her to address them. I think it's going to take a while longer for me to process all this.
I learned so much from Kate because she was always quick to point out the many injustices in the world. In her glory days, she was very much a crusader and she cared for everyone. Over the years, as her situation took its toll, I came to realise that it was the fact that she couldn't be put in a single specific category, that made the system fail her. She needed help that they weren't set up to provide.
She needed more care and she needed to be less alone. I'm so sorry that this has happened.
For a long while we were corresponding almost every day but a couple of months ago, I realised that she had become so stressed that nearly every interaction I had with her was starting to trigger her. I backed away to give her a bit more space. She only had a little time that she could stand to be online and there were too many things that she wanted to do in that time. I thought that by taking a step back, she could reach out to more people who might be geographically closer and able to assist.
Kate was a beautiful soul and she will be sorely missed by all of us.
diyalabs6192603 11p · 192 weeks ago
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Spoil your cat · 122 weeks ago
Many of these living arrangement aren't good, and many of the people who run those places really don't have the residents' best interest at heart. Those places are like old age homes and foster homes, where you sometimes hear horror stories. They're hard to trust. But then there are good ones, of course.
The best thing for an autistic adult is either to go on living at home or working and renting an apartment and living independently, but that isn't always an option.
Duncan · 112 weeks ago