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Thursday, January 5, 2012

A Depressed Mind

Their feelings lay across me
Heavy
Wet blanket
Weighing me down

Reality?
Blessings abound
Warmth
Mobility
Family
Love
Confessions
My Peeps
Community
Friends
Freedom
Writing
Mothering with purpose
Sans the weight of an employer's demands

I want for little
Yet, I want for much
I teach to count blessings
Yet, my thoughts are not pure
Why can't they be happy
Why is this so hard
Worries of their futures

The depressed mind emerges
Negativity boundless
Thinking warped
Blurry
Not clear
Outward smiles
Truth hidden
Giving
Giving
Give more
Ingratitude
Disrespect
Inward cries
Longing
Soothing Wine
Happy Pills?
Not happy enough
Heart lifts
Head spinning
swimming
drowning
knowing
you should be happy
you're not

Forward movement
I mother
I wife
I friend
I daughter
I advise
I search
I pray
I fight
This is my journey
God give me strength