Monday, October 10, 2011

Sucky Sunday

I am always teaching gratitude to the boys.  I have the whole speech down to a science.  So believe me, I feel the extreme guilt when I'm complaining about my life and not being grateful.  I must make a precursory note of this whining rant.  I did spend Friday having a me day, getting a manicure and pedicure and having lunch out with my mom.  For this...I am grateful.  Still...I spend the rest of the weekend doing a bunch of things that I do not want to do.  I spend a great deal of my life doing this.  Sometimes it gets old.  Sometimes, I just want to be completely selfish.  But then again...I chose the wrong job if this was my goal.

Here's the deal...when I was in the corporate world, when a job became boring, mundane, and unfulfilling, or I just plain old got sick of the people I worked with or for...I quit...moved on.  I moved on to something shinier, bigger, with better pay, different responsibilities, more challenges, a change of venue with more opportunity for growth, and nicer people who appreciated me for my talents.  When I got tired of that...I went to work for myself as a Realtor, where I could create my own schedule, destiny and earning potential.

Lately, as I mill around the grocery store week after week,  run to the pharmacy, dispense meds, do the carpool run, referee fights, give advice that no-one appears to be listening to, kill spiders, cook dinner, clean dishes, floors and toilets...I can't help but think...This JOB Really SUCKS!  I quit!

Sunday morning starts off with Blue giving me major attitude because he wants to go out to breakfast.  We watch church services on the internet on Sunday mornings with a laptop hooked up to the big screen t.v. and music streaming through the speakers.  We do this every Sunday, but I guess we were supposed to drop everything because he wants to go out to eat.  This turns into a miniature meltdown.  Where I have to placate him and be all Zen about it.  I come up with an alternative plan, which includes me making him a major league breakfast, of sausage, eggs and pancakes.

Red is moaning and groaning because we won't allow him to spend $70.00 for add-on software to a game that he only spent $30.00 for in the first place.  He already bought a $30.00 add-on a few weeks ago, that he has yet to use.  Yet, he wants to spend $70.00 MORE when he hasn't even used what he has to full capacity.  He has this insatiable need to keep buying things that he THINKS will make him happy, of course this never works.  Now we are the bad guys because we are saving him...protecting him from himself.  We spend the ENTIRE weekend listening to him rant about this, becoming more belligerent with each passing moment.  Except for when he comes back with wanting to have a friend over.  Then,  he suddenly wants to turn everything around and start being respectful for all of 10 minutes so that he can get what he wants.  When this doesn't work...he goes back to being ugly again.

I spend most of the day making a nice Sunday dinner, because Blue, my Mom and my husband love a good Sunday dinner.  I'd rather be out at a yoga class, hiking, or going to see a chick flick.  But no...I spend Sunday doing my "job".  By the end of the day...I find myself feeling a little pissy because Sunday is supposed to be a day of rest.  I do anything, and everything but rest.

Sometimes, I just get so tired of doing things to make everyone-else happy.  It's exhausting really.  After dinner, I am so tired.  Tired of the noise in the house...tired of the sibling arguments, tired of the disagreements between Dad and Red, tired of the lack of peace.  I come to my room and the three of them are there, Dad, Blue and Red.  They are discussing possibly watching a movie that I rented for them.  I actually agree to allow the boys to watch it in my room.  There I go again...peacemaker, to my own detriment.  My husband just looks at me like...Really?  You've been cooking all day and now you're going to let them take over your room?  It was a reality check.

I kick them all out, and lock the door for an hour of peace before I would drift off to sleep.  I pour myself a nice glass of wine and enjoy the quiet.  Until Red knocks on my door..."MOM!"

Seriously??? I quit!

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