Here's the deal...when I was in the corporate world, when a job became boring, mundane, and unfulfilling, or I just plain old got sick of the people I worked with or for...I quit...moved on. I moved on to something shinier, bigger, with better pay, different responsibilities, more challenges, a change of venue with more opportunity for growth, and nicer people who appreciated me for my talents. When I got tired of that...I went to work for myself as a Realtor, where I could create my own schedule, destiny and earning potential.
Lately, as I mill around the grocery store week after week, run to the pharmacy, dispense meds, do the carpool run, referee fights, give advice that no-one appears to be listening to, kill spiders, cook dinner, clean dishes, floors and toilets...I can't help but think...This JOB Really SUCKS! I quit!
Sunday morning starts off with Blue giving me major attitude because he wants to go out to breakfast. We watch church services on the internet on Sunday mornings with a laptop hooked up to the big screen t.v. and music streaming through the speakers. We do this every Sunday, but I guess we were supposed to drop everything because he wants to go out to eat. This turns into a miniature meltdown. Where I have to placate him and be all Zen about it. I come up with an alternative plan, which includes me making him a major league breakfast, of sausage, eggs and pancakes.
Red is moaning and groaning because we won't allow him to spend $70.00 for add-on software to a game that he only spent $30.00 for in the first place. He already bought a $30.00 add-on a few weeks ago, that he has yet to use. Yet, he wants to spend $70.00 MORE when he hasn't even used what he has to full capacity. He has this insatiable need to keep buying things that he THINKS will make him happy, of course this never works. Now we are the bad guys because we are saving him...protecting him from himself. We spend the ENTIRE weekend listening to him rant about this, becoming more belligerent with each passing moment. Except for when he comes back with wanting to have a friend over. Then, he suddenly wants to turn everything around and start being respectful for all of 10 minutes so that he can get what he wants. When this doesn't work...he goes back to being ugly again.
I spend most of the day making a nice Sunday dinner, because Blue, my Mom and my husband love a good Sunday dinner. I'd rather be out at a yoga class, hiking, or going to see a chick flick. But no...I spend Sunday doing my "job". By the end of the day...I find myself feeling a little pissy because Sunday is supposed to be a day of rest. I do anything, and everything but rest.
Sometimes, I just get so tired of doing things to make everyone-else happy. It's exhausting really. After dinner, I am so tired. Tired of the noise in the house...tired of the sibling arguments, tired of the disagreements between Dad and Red, tired of the lack of peace. I come to my room and the three of them are there, Dad, Blue and Red. They are discussing possibly watching a movie that I rented for them. I actually agree to allow the boys to watch it in my room. There I go again...peacemaker, to my own detriment. My husband just looks at me like...Really? You've been cooking all day and now you're going to let them take over your room? It was a reality check.
I kick them all out, and lock the door for an hour of peace before I would drift off to sleep. I pour myself a nice glass of wine and enjoy the quiet. Until Red knocks on my door..."MOM!"
Seriously??? I quit!
Adelaide Dupont · 273 weeks ago
And for those of us who knew and appreciated these points in high school to a greater or lesser extent - always good to have a refresher and feel them through the current and future generations who we survived to be able to see.
I especially appreciated points 5, 7 and 10.
And young women not settling or settling down yet is a good thing.
"It's never too late to live our dreams" - but it may be too early for some of them!
And 8 of course.
nicole · 232 weeks ago
Risa · 219 weeks ago
LAH · 210 weeks ago
Maira L. Coral · 205 weeks ago
I was looking for information for my Multi-Genre Disability Research Project from my Early Childhood Special Education class on the web, when suddenly I came across your blog. I started reading this out of curiosity and I want to tell you that as you said yourself, you will not be Amanda Gorman, but you managed to make me shed some tears, perhaps because I felt totally identified with your words, especially in the part that you speak of your son. My son also has Asperger's syndrome, he is 19 years old and he is in the second semester of College. Also like yours, he takes classes from home, likewise my eldest daughter is also taking college classes from her room. At the same time, that I work as a preschool teacher from my kitchen through a computer, my husband sleeps in the room during the day because he works at night. Also in the afternoons I myself take virtual school classes. I am a 51-year-old Latin woman who began to learn the English language as adult, so maybe you find some deficiencies in my writing, however, I was very moved by how proud you express yourself about your son. Referent your mother, I liked the humorous tone that you give when your talk about her, so I did not want to miss this opportunity and stopped my assignments for a moment to let you know that your words do make a difference, since they reach the heart of at least those who have opportunity to read you. I want confess you that is the most long I have written to someone I don't know, because your words inspired me, thank you...
Gavin Bollard · 197 weeks ago
Thanks for this post. I've been very distracted of late and so this was how I found out about our friend Kate. Kate's struggles were very real but they were so constant and so wide-ranging that it was difficult for people around her to address them. I think it's going to take a while longer for me to process all this.
I learned so much from Kate because she was always quick to point out the many injustices in the world. In her glory days, she was very much a crusader and she cared for everyone. Over the years, as her situation took its toll, I came to realise that it was the fact that she couldn't be put in a single specific category, that made the system fail her. She needed help that they weren't set up to provide.
She needed more care and she needed to be less alone. I'm so sorry that this has happened.
For a long while we were corresponding almost every day but a couple of months ago, I realised that she had become so stressed that nearly every interaction I had with her was starting to trigger her. I backed away to give her a bit more space. She only had a little time that she could stand to be online and there were too many things that she wanted to do in that time. I thought that by taking a step back, she could reach out to more people who might be geographically closer and able to assist.
Kate was a beautiful soul and she will be sorely missed by all of us.
diyalabs6192603 11p · 180 weeks ago
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Spoil your cat · 110 weeks ago
Many of these living arrangement aren't good, and many of the people who run those places really don't have the residents' best interest at heart. Those places are like old age homes and foster homes, where you sometimes hear horror stories. They're hard to trust. But then there are good ones, of course.
The best thing for an autistic adult is either to go on living at home or working and renting an apartment and living independently, but that isn't always an option.
Duncan · 100 weeks ago