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Monday, August 22, 2011

It's a Different World

I realize that people with Aspergers look at the world differently.  My nearly 16 year-old son definitely has his own outlook --unfortunately it's very doom and gloom.  After spending a great day with a friend here at the house,  we drop his friend off at home.  He shoots me with a barrage of negativity all the way home on the 25 minute ride.  I was so negged out by the time we pull into the driveway, I realize that I completely forgot to stop at the grocery store.  

I drop him off and continue to the store, which has become a chore that I loathe.  Suddenly, the grocery store was my best friend.  It's like 10 o'clock at night.  I think I was there for well over an hour.  I find myself alone, taking my time on each isle, relishing the reprieve from negative input into my psyche.  I try to turn around the negative conversation, but for each positive thought, he comes up with a negative.  How can you not absorb some of that negative energy when you are surrounded by it?

"I don't want to go to school.  The work is too hard for me.  You don't understand.  I have a learning disability."
"You don not have a learning disability."  (You have a lazy disability) "How does someone who has tested commended on TAKS have a learning disability?  You passed every single class last year."
"Well...it was hard and it's too much work."
"You have 2 resource classes and in your regular ed classes, your work is modified. You hardly have any homework and you have a lot of support."
"Well it's still too much work."
"I realize that it may not be fun, but you CAN do it. I wasn't in love with history or Algebra either, but I got through it."

I change the subject and start asking questions about airplanes, his trip...anything just not to have to hear the negative thoughts.  Somehow he changes it back.
"And those kids...they better not start any crap with me.  And so and so is still my enemy,"...and on and on. "
And those teachers...they are mean to me.  Mrs. So and So screams at me and she's always rushing me to do my work."
"She's not actually screaming at you...she is just trying to keep you on track." (Anyone who asks him to do anything that he does not want to do is screaming at him.)
"You're lucky to have someone to help you stay on track and not have you just floating out there trying to figure out what to do."

The conversation leaves me wondering...how much of this is just not WANTING to do the work?  Is there any substance to his complaints.  It's hard to say when that's all you get is complaints.  He is just so unmotivated...totally opposite of his little brother, who wants nothing more than to do his absolute best.  Oh Vey!  This boy is exhausting.

Well...cheers to the first day of school.   I am going to remain vigilant and hopeful.

My confession? I celebrated with Bailey's Coffee and a nap as soon they left!

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