I've been trying to just enjoy the quiet since he's off visiting his grandma. He is not here to burst through my door at any given moment with a complaint, or to come in to bother the dog because he's bored. Why do I have to repeat the same sentence 95 times a day to a 15 year-old boy? "Leave the dog alone. Put the dog down. He does not want to be picked up. He's resting." None of that for 2 whole weeks. I am so grateful for that.
Of course there is no such thing as total peace unless BOTH of them are gone or unless I leave...by myself. Blue has cranked up his autism a couple of notches while his brother has been away. He needs more time and attention. He doesn't seem to want to be alone unless he's playing his driving game on his computer. He bought this cool steering wheel/gas/break pedal thingy, so it really feels like he's driving. This has also been a source of contention. He gets really pissed when he crashes one of the cars in the game. This is usually taken out on me...sometimes the dog. Poor Harry...he becomes "that stupid dog" when Blue is in one of his moods. Red's not here. He has to be mad at somebody! So he gives me a little extra dose of drama and attitude. Only me...lucky me! I'm the only one who gets to see this side of him.
Thank God for his friends! He has been so blessed to get together with the twins, his friend Jake and another friend from school throughout the summer. Last week he even went swimming with my friend and her daughter. He just can not be in one place for too long. He's always planning some kind of activity. I think he gets that from me. I get it from my Dad. We are the go-go people. Blue is the most social Aspie I know!
I got Blue's school schedule in the mail. Nothing from Red's school -probably because I took him out of school the last few weeks because he was in the hospital. I need to go jump through the bureaucratic hoops and officially re-enroll him, which I am not even sure if I want to. I just got some information today on a private school nearby that works specifically with the high-functioning autism spectrum disorder population. They go all the way through 12th grade.
So here we are a week away from school starting and I don't know which way I'm going to go. Of course the private school costs. It's not crazy expensive, but it's not something that's in our budget either. With the economy sucking eggs and all...things have been kind of tight around here. Feel free to send me a donation. Make all checks payable to the, "Keep Karen Sane Fund."
I am excited at just the shear possibility of having him in an environment where they "get him" and he can work to his potential and at his own pace...which would be the pace of an elderly tortoise. The curriculum is web based, and he can move things around however he needs to. In public school, he uses up so much of his energy on the social components, stress and anxiety. How can he possibly focus on learning? He was thoroughly fried by the end of school last year, hence the hospitalization.
He has done so much better over the summer as far as real-deal ugly meltdowns are concerned. Of course, his stress level has been very low. He hasn't had those huge social issues to worry about. In fact, he has made a new friend that he connects very well with and he has made some other connections through our Aspergers Meetup Group. He hasn't felt that total isolation that he felt most of the school year. This is a prayer answered.
This private school would work with him on life skills and becoming independent. It may just very well be worth the investment if we can move towards getting him out of our house eventually. I want my freedom back! I may never get it completely, but I want him to be an independent young man, living at his maximum potential.
I hope we can figure out a way to pay for it. Maybe I can see if they will do a two for one. I could work there to get him a tuition discount! You never know...
I've talked to Red on the phone the last two days. He sounds so calm. It's great to hear. I pray that he comes home with that same degree of calmness. Wouldn't that be great? It will be a whirlwind of changing time zones and getting him reacclimated to going to bed and getting up early for school. That should be fun.
Anyway...a zillion thoughts and things to do. None of them add up to writing a blog post that has much rhyme or reason. Instead, you get to see the discombobulated thoughts that are rambling through the mind of a neurotic mom.
Do you like me? Please Vote! Just click here:
This private school would work with him on life skills and becoming independent. It may just very well be worth the investment if we can move towards getting him out of our house eventually. I want my freedom back! I may never get it completely, but I want him to be an independent young man, living at his maximum potential.
I hope we can figure out a way to pay for it. Maybe I can see if they will do a two for one. I could work there to get him a tuition discount! You never know...
I've talked to Red on the phone the last two days. He sounds so calm. It's great to hear. I pray that he comes home with that same degree of calmness. Wouldn't that be great? It will be a whirlwind of changing time zones and getting him reacclimated to going to bed and getting up early for school. That should be fun.
Anyway...a zillion thoughts and things to do. None of them add up to writing a blog post that has much rhyme or reason. Instead, you get to see the discombobulated thoughts that are rambling through the mind of a neurotic mom.
Do you like me? Please Vote! Just click here:
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Adelaide Dupont · 285 weeks ago
And for those of us who knew and appreciated these points in high school to a greater or lesser extent - always good to have a refresher and feel them through the current and future generations who we survived to be able to see.
I especially appreciated points 5, 7 and 10.
And young women not settling or settling down yet is a good thing.
"It's never too late to live our dreams" - but it may be too early for some of them!
And 8 of course.
nicole · 243 weeks ago
Risa · 230 weeks ago
LAH · 221 weeks ago
Maira L. Coral · 216 weeks ago
I was looking for information for my Multi-Genre Disability Research Project from my Early Childhood Special Education class on the web, when suddenly I came across your blog. I started reading this out of curiosity and I want to tell you that as you said yourself, you will not be Amanda Gorman, but you managed to make me shed some tears, perhaps because I felt totally identified with your words, especially in the part that you speak of your son. My son also has Asperger's syndrome, he is 19 years old and he is in the second semester of College. Also like yours, he takes classes from home, likewise my eldest daughter is also taking college classes from her room. At the same time, that I work as a preschool teacher from my kitchen through a computer, my husband sleeps in the room during the day because he works at night. Also in the afternoons I myself take virtual school classes. I am a 51-year-old Latin woman who began to learn the English language as adult, so maybe you find some deficiencies in my writing, however, I was very moved by how proud you express yourself about your son. Referent your mother, I liked the humorous tone that you give when your talk about her, so I did not want to miss this opportunity and stopped my assignments for a moment to let you know that your words do make a difference, since they reach the heart of at least those who have opportunity to read you. I want confess you that is the most long I have written to someone I don't know, because your words inspired me, thank you...
Gavin Bollard · 209 weeks ago
Thanks for this post. I've been very distracted of late and so this was how I found out about our friend Kate. Kate's struggles were very real but they were so constant and so wide-ranging that it was difficult for people around her to address them. I think it's going to take a while longer for me to process all this.
I learned so much from Kate because she was always quick to point out the many injustices in the world. In her glory days, she was very much a crusader and she cared for everyone. Over the years, as her situation took its toll, I came to realise that it was the fact that she couldn't be put in a single specific category, that made the system fail her. She needed help that they weren't set up to provide.
She needed more care and she needed to be less alone. I'm so sorry that this has happened.
For a long while we were corresponding almost every day but a couple of months ago, I realised that she had become so stressed that nearly every interaction I had with her was starting to trigger her. I backed away to give her a bit more space. She only had a little time that she could stand to be online and there were too many things that she wanted to do in that time. I thought that by taking a step back, she could reach out to more people who might be geographically closer and able to assist.
Kate was a beautiful soul and she will be sorely missed by all of us.
diyalabs6192603 11p · 192 weeks ago
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Spoil your cat · 122 weeks ago
Many of these living arrangement aren't good, and many of the people who run those places really don't have the residents' best interest at heart. Those places are like old age homes and foster homes, where you sometimes hear horror stories. They're hard to trust. But then there are good ones, of course.
The best thing for an autistic adult is either to go on living at home or working and renting an apartment and living independently, but that isn't always an option.
Duncan · 112 weeks ago