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Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Mommy Time Out

I would really like to stop whining here but hey...these are my confessions and I need to vent.  I don't have time for therapy -at least not for me.  I'm too busy getting everyone else  to their therapy appointments.  One of these days I will actually purchase that bill of goods --you know the one "Take care of yourself first."  Until that day arrives...this is it.

The day goes like this:
8 a.m. up -make sure Blue gets ready for Art Camp.
9:00 a.m. -drop Harry @ the groomer for a haircut.
9:15 a.m. -drop Blue @ camp.
9:30 a.m. -grocery shopping
10:30 a.m. -get Red up and ready for Movie camp (takes him an hour and a half to eat and get dressed)
12 p.m. -pick up Blue -drive with both boys downtown
1 pm  -drop off Red
1:30 p.m. -lunch with Blue (delightful)
2:30 p.m. -writing @ Coffee House (glorious)
4:30 p.m. -pick up cupcakes  (self medication for later)
5 p.m.  -pick up Red from camp

Austin radio is absolute crap.  I am listening to a relaxing jazz CD for a change when Red gets in the car.  I often let him play his Linkin Park and Green Day via his Ipod.  Not today...I'm not in the mood.
He starts with, "What is this you're listening too?  It's boring!"
"It's relaxing...get over it," says Blue.
"It's boring!  There isn't enough guitar. I want to listen to my music!"
"I"m sorry it's my turn today," I say calmly.

He doesn't like the music.  Fine...but if this were his dad's car, he would listen to it and not complain.  If anything, he may ask for it to be turned down.  He can only listen to his OWN music loudly.

He goes on and on for 20 minutes about the music.  He finally gets off of that trip and starts talking about juvenile delinquents, jail, juvenile hall and cops.  Not a conversation I want to participate in.  I have to chime in periodically to set him straight because he doesn't know what he's talking about.

From there he goes on to "Can we stop and get something to eat?" over and over again. To which I reply, "I am trying to get across town in time to pick up Harry before the groomers close."   I have no plans of stopping for anything.

Every time Blue says anything...he tells him to, "Shut up!" Loudly...not acceptable.  Once he attempts hitting him.  Not acceptable.  Traffic stops abruptly.  I have to break hard in order to avoid hitting the car in front of me.  He screams, "What the heck?!" so loud that it distracts me.  I am ready to throw him out of the car at this point.  I tell him, "This behavior  (the name calling and shut-ups) is going to get you grounded."

"I don't get grounded!"
"Oh really!  I will take the phone and you will loose the use of your computer."
"I'm bigger than you mom.  You can't make me do anything!"
Sounds like a threat to me.
"Oh my dear...you have it seriously twisted!  I can cut off the electricity to your room.  I do not need you for anything.  You need me.  You are going to learn the hard way that you can not disrespect me and then expect things from me.  I will not be stopping to BUY you anything to eat.  In fact...I will not be preparing anything for you for dinner.  You better ask someone who you haven't disrespected to help you with your dinner tonight.  As far as I'm concerned...you can starve!"

We get to the groomer.  I go inside to get the dog.  Red curses at his brother while I am inside.  Blue gets out of the car.  He doesn't want to hear this language.  Red locks him out of the car.  When I return, the door is still locked.  He just sits there and looks at me at first.  He slowly decides to unlock the door.  This is the straw! I rip him a new one when I get back in.  I keep my voice low...but I let him know that I am completely done with him.  He had better not ask me for one single thing until I see some serious changes in his behavior.  Nothing!

"I don't know what's wrong with me.  It must have something to do with the way I came out when I was born.  You know when I wasn't breathing at first," he says pathetically.

Oh give me a break!  "What is wrong with you has nothing to do with that.  You are making conscious choices!  You chose to curse at him as soon as I got out of the car so that I wouldn't hear you.  That was a calculated decision.  The F bomb didn't accidentally fall out of your mouth!  OMG...I tripped and all of these curse words just fell right out of my mouth!  I don't know how that happened!  It was a CHOICE! As is a lot of your behavior!"

This isn't Aspergers behavior.  This is bratty, teenage boy behavior...pure and simple.

When we get home, I quickly give my mother a brief synopsis of what happened. I warn them that I don't want to see or hear from anyone for at least one hour.  That's right my friends...a mommy time-out. I suggest that Blue go to his room.  He also needs to decompress.

I close my door and lock it.  I am nearly in tears at this point.  I cuddle up with my computer.  I have some pretty amazing Aspergers moms who encourage me an offer support on my Facebook Community Page.  They are my heroes.

My Facebook status reads:

"I could just cry right now! I just had a 45 minute ride from hell with my boys.  My door is locked! Mommy is in a 1 hour time out."

Sharon says, "Did you remember to get a bottle of wine before you closed the door?"
 
I did not remember the wine.  I am sitting there contemplating how I can get a glass without anyone seeing or talking to me.

Elena says, "Call your mom and tell her to sneak the wine to you...then wrap yourself in a blankie...visualize words that describe your loving nature written all over the blankie...an angel will bring them to you because you are a loving person and angels only brings words of goodness and love...(yeah, I sound like a lunatic...oh well...but I do believe) much love to you...you are our angel..xo"

Elena's comment makes me laugh and cry.  All of their love and support brought tears to my already soggy eyes.  I wish that we could all escape together and go out for drinks! Their words leave me feeling blessed.  The wine is just the cherry on top.

Please join us on Facebook  if you haven't already.  Namaste'

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