I'm on the edge...just about ready to dive off the cliff into the ocean, and I'm not a good swimmer. This option sounds better than living through the rest of this summer in this stress-filled heat box that I call life. Does that sound desperate? I feel desperate. The stress is trying to keep children fed, entertained, stimulated and from killing each other. The heat part is just plain old hot ass Texas! How did I get here?
Central Texas particularly, the school district we live in has a pretty good special education program. The cost of living here is moderate in comparison to where I grew up and always thought I would live, southern California. There is no way we could afford to live there and have me dedicated to taking care of these high-maintenance children. We are here for them, but I have come to loathe the summers here. It's so hot that it's painful to be out during the day. I try to avoid it, if at all possible. I have fantasies of a summer home on the coast.
I seriously thought about taking out an ad somewhere:
"NEED A HOUSE SITTER in Southern California...I'm your girl! Responsible middle aged woman will take care of your property while you're away on vacation. Will feed your pets, water your lawn and keep the burglars away!"
The only catch is I come along with two children who may put holes in your walls when they have meltdowns.
This week, we have Art camp in the mornings for Blue and afternoon Movie camp for Red. This means I'm in it...driving around in the heat of the day. This morning I through in a haircut for Red. He was starting to look like a grizzly bear. He needs to start learning to shave. I've mentioned this to the hubby weeks ago...to no avail.
The trip to the barber shop means I rush back home after dropping off Blue. I give him a good hour and a half to get up, eat, get ready and out the door. He moves so slowly, it's excruciating to watch. He comes to get in the car after I have told him specifically to wash his face and brush his teeth. (Why do I still need to tell him to wash his face and brush his teeth? One might ask.) He comes to get in the car without washing his face.
"Did you wash your face?"
"No."
"Didn't I tell you to wash your face?"
"I forgot...what's the big deal?"
"The big deal is that oils are building up on your skin and you will end up going back to school with a bunch of acne on your face."
"Girls like other boys who have bumps on their face."
"How can you expect anyone to like you if you don't care enough about yourself to take care of your own body?"
We get to the barbershop. I get out of the car. He is still sitting there. I am sitting inside for 10 minutes while they finish up other customers. Red is still sitting in the car. It is already 85 degrees. Why is he sitting? I have no idea. I step out twice and wave to him. A what the hell are you doing? -kind of wave.
We get the haircut. He is back to his handsome self -minus the dirty face. He starts whining about being hungry. The whining gets louder and louder. Mind you -he has just finished breakfast an hour before. I refuse to go to Mc Donalds. I go to Subway and order a turkey sandwich. I am insisting on a healthier diet. I will no longer participate in the fast food nonsense. He complains of being so tired that he can't bend down to pick things up. "I'm too tired to walk up the stairs." He has gained weight on this new medicine. If you're too tired to bend down or walk...you certainly don't need a bacon-cheeseburger.
By the time I drop him off at camp...I am totally spent. I don't know how I'm going to survive this eternal summer. My sanity is seriously at stake here and it's only June.
These are my confessions...I have to finish this rant another time. Duty calls!
Help a sistah out! ...just a quick click here:
Central Texas particularly, the school district we live in has a pretty good special education program. The cost of living here is moderate in comparison to where I grew up and always thought I would live, southern California. There is no way we could afford to live there and have me dedicated to taking care of these high-maintenance children. We are here for them, but I have come to loathe the summers here. It's so hot that it's painful to be out during the day. I try to avoid it, if at all possible. I have fantasies of a summer home on the coast.
I seriously thought about taking out an ad somewhere:
"NEED A HOUSE SITTER in Southern California...I'm your girl! Responsible middle aged woman will take care of your property while you're away on vacation. Will feed your pets, water your lawn and keep the burglars away!"
The only catch is I come along with two children who may put holes in your walls when they have meltdowns.
This week, we have Art camp in the mornings for Blue and afternoon Movie camp for Red. This means I'm in it...driving around in the heat of the day. This morning I through in a haircut for Red. He was starting to look like a grizzly bear. He needs to start learning to shave. I've mentioned this to the hubby weeks ago...to no avail.
The trip to the barber shop means I rush back home after dropping off Blue. I give him a good hour and a half to get up, eat, get ready and out the door. He moves so slowly, it's excruciating to watch. He comes to get in the car after I have told him specifically to wash his face and brush his teeth. (Why do I still need to tell him to wash his face and brush his teeth? One might ask.) He comes to get in the car without washing his face.
"Did you wash your face?"
"No."
"Didn't I tell you to wash your face?"
"I forgot...what's the big deal?"
"The big deal is that oils are building up on your skin and you will end up going back to school with a bunch of acne on your face."
"Girls like other boys who have bumps on their face."
"How can you expect anyone to like you if you don't care enough about yourself to take care of your own body?"
We get to the barbershop. I get out of the car. He is still sitting there. I am sitting inside for 10 minutes while they finish up other customers. Red is still sitting in the car. It is already 85 degrees. Why is he sitting? I have no idea. I step out twice and wave to him. A what the hell are you doing? -kind of wave.
We get the haircut. He is back to his handsome self -minus the dirty face. He starts whining about being hungry. The whining gets louder and louder. Mind you -he has just finished breakfast an hour before. I refuse to go to Mc Donalds. I go to Subway and order a turkey sandwich. I am insisting on a healthier diet. I will no longer participate in the fast food nonsense. He complains of being so tired that he can't bend down to pick things up. "I'm too tired to walk up the stairs." He has gained weight on this new medicine. If you're too tired to bend down or walk...you certainly don't need a bacon-cheeseburger.
By the time I drop him off at camp...I am totally spent. I don't know how I'm going to survive this eternal summer. My sanity is seriously at stake here and it's only June.
These are my confessions...I have to finish this rant another time. Duty calls!
Help a sistah out! ...just a quick click here:
Logging you in...
Adelaide Dupont · 285 weeks ago
And for those of us who knew and appreciated these points in high school to a greater or lesser extent - always good to have a refresher and feel them through the current and future generations who we survived to be able to see.
I especially appreciated points 5, 7 and 10.
And young women not settling or settling down yet is a good thing.
"It's never too late to live our dreams" - but it may be too early for some of them!
And 8 of course.
nicole · 243 weeks ago
Risa · 230 weeks ago
LAH · 221 weeks ago
Maira L. Coral · 216 weeks ago
I was looking for information for my Multi-Genre Disability Research Project from my Early Childhood Special Education class on the web, when suddenly I came across your blog. I started reading this out of curiosity and I want to tell you that as you said yourself, you will not be Amanda Gorman, but you managed to make me shed some tears, perhaps because I felt totally identified with your words, especially in the part that you speak of your son. My son also has Asperger's syndrome, he is 19 years old and he is in the second semester of College. Also like yours, he takes classes from home, likewise my eldest daughter is also taking college classes from her room. At the same time, that I work as a preschool teacher from my kitchen through a computer, my husband sleeps in the room during the day because he works at night. Also in the afternoons I myself take virtual school classes. I am a 51-year-old Latin woman who began to learn the English language as adult, so maybe you find some deficiencies in my writing, however, I was very moved by how proud you express yourself about your son. Referent your mother, I liked the humorous tone that you give when your talk about her, so I did not want to miss this opportunity and stopped my assignments for a moment to let you know that your words do make a difference, since they reach the heart of at least those who have opportunity to read you. I want confess you that is the most long I have written to someone I don't know, because your words inspired me, thank you...
Gavin Bollard · 209 weeks ago
Thanks for this post. I've been very distracted of late and so this was how I found out about our friend Kate. Kate's struggles were very real but they were so constant and so wide-ranging that it was difficult for people around her to address them. I think it's going to take a while longer for me to process all this.
I learned so much from Kate because she was always quick to point out the many injustices in the world. In her glory days, she was very much a crusader and she cared for everyone. Over the years, as her situation took its toll, I came to realise that it was the fact that she couldn't be put in a single specific category, that made the system fail her. She needed help that they weren't set up to provide.
She needed more care and she needed to be less alone. I'm so sorry that this has happened.
For a long while we were corresponding almost every day but a couple of months ago, I realised that she had become so stressed that nearly every interaction I had with her was starting to trigger her. I backed away to give her a bit more space. She only had a little time that she could stand to be online and there were too many things that she wanted to do in that time. I thought that by taking a step back, she could reach out to more people who might be geographically closer and able to assist.
Kate was a beautiful soul and she will be sorely missed by all of us.
diyalabs6192603 11p · 192 weeks ago
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Spoil your cat · 122 weeks ago
Many of these living arrangement aren't good, and many of the people who run those places really don't have the residents' best interest at heart. Those places are like old age homes and foster homes, where you sometimes hear horror stories. They're hard to trust. But then there are good ones, of course.
The best thing for an autistic adult is either to go on living at home or working and renting an apartment and living independently, but that isn't always an option.
Duncan · 112 weeks ago