I am downstairs preparing breakfast when a Red is listening to "Green Day". He starts to sing...I hear heavy foot steps, a door bursting open and then, "Heeeyyy! What the heck are you doing?" Followed by, "Get-off-of me fatty!" I drop my spatula and run upstairs. Red -big one is on top of Blue -little one. I break it up an send Blue back to his corner of the boxing ring. Just call me Ref!
Today we are trying a new form of ADHD medication for Red -the Daytrana patch. I try sticking the damn thing on and it's not really sticking very well. Mind you -I'm trying to hurry and get him out the door after the fight and residual name calling matches. Also -the pharmacy had filled another of his prescriptions with the generic (sertraline) of Zoloft instead of the name brand. In Red, this apparently makes a world of difference.
Within an hour of his arrival at school he calls to say the patch came off. I have to high-tail it over there to apply another one. By the time I arrive, he's completely on the opposite side of lucid. He's going off about things that I haven't heard about in weeks. I think he's making up the script of things to be angry about as he goes along.
"I don't want to be here! I hate it here." Apparently he's been getting angry about seeing couples kissing and holding hands in the hallways. He takes it as a personal affront.
With assistance from the nurse, I get the patch applied. I get her to tell him it would probably stick better if he showered daily. (hint hint) He doesn't want to go back to class. He wants me to be his audience. I walk him back to class and try to disappear as quickly as I can. He is regressing, going back to old scripts making himself more angry with every utterance. He is in another world.
I leave the campus wondering what the heck is going on? Is it the new patch? Is it the generic sertraline? Is he just loosing his ever-loving mind? Will this nightmare ever end? I fantasize about sending him to a lovely sanitarium where he can talk about his feelings and paint all day looking out over green meadows.
I decide to prepare for what will surely be the night from hell. I have to give myself a break. I want to go to the art studio to paint -to forget. Unfortunately, my art instructor is not available for an impromptu pop-in. I go shopping instead. I want to go find a good margarita. I decide against it -I will need my strength and cognizance later. My mood is low and funky.
I take Blue and his friends out for ice cream after school to avoid Red when he first gets home. According to my mother, he bursts through the door and climbs the stairs 3 at a time. He gets to the top screams bloody murder, and starts ranting incoherently. By the time I arrive, she's given him his afternoon med. He's eating a cupcake ...perfectly calm. Weird!
When James Brown sang that song "Make it Funky." I don't think this is what he was talking about.
Check out the lyrics: http://artists.letssingit.com/james-brown-lyrics-make-it-funky-npk2f23
If you feel me...Let me know!
Logging you in...
Adelaide Dupont · 285 weeks ago
And for those of us who knew and appreciated these points in high school to a greater or lesser extent - always good to have a refresher and feel them through the current and future generations who we survived to be able to see.
I especially appreciated points 5, 7 and 10.
And young women not settling or settling down yet is a good thing.
"It's never too late to live our dreams" - but it may be too early for some of them!
And 8 of course.
nicole · 243 weeks ago
Risa · 230 weeks ago
LAH · 221 weeks ago
Maira L. Coral · 216 weeks ago
I was looking for information for my Multi-Genre Disability Research Project from my Early Childhood Special Education class on the web, when suddenly I came across your blog. I started reading this out of curiosity and I want to tell you that as you said yourself, you will not be Amanda Gorman, but you managed to make me shed some tears, perhaps because I felt totally identified with your words, especially in the part that you speak of your son. My son also has Asperger's syndrome, he is 19 years old and he is in the second semester of College. Also like yours, he takes classes from home, likewise my eldest daughter is also taking college classes from her room. At the same time, that I work as a preschool teacher from my kitchen through a computer, my husband sleeps in the room during the day because he works at night. Also in the afternoons I myself take virtual school classes. I am a 51-year-old Latin woman who began to learn the English language as adult, so maybe you find some deficiencies in my writing, however, I was very moved by how proud you express yourself about your son. Referent your mother, I liked the humorous tone that you give when your talk about her, so I did not want to miss this opportunity and stopped my assignments for a moment to let you know that your words do make a difference, since they reach the heart of at least those who have opportunity to read you. I want confess you that is the most long I have written to someone I don't know, because your words inspired me, thank you...
Gavin Bollard · 209 weeks ago
Thanks for this post. I've been very distracted of late and so this was how I found out about our friend Kate. Kate's struggles were very real but they were so constant and so wide-ranging that it was difficult for people around her to address them. I think it's going to take a while longer for me to process all this.
I learned so much from Kate because she was always quick to point out the many injustices in the world. In her glory days, she was very much a crusader and she cared for everyone. Over the years, as her situation took its toll, I came to realise that it was the fact that she couldn't be put in a single specific category, that made the system fail her. She needed help that they weren't set up to provide.
She needed more care and she needed to be less alone. I'm so sorry that this has happened.
For a long while we were corresponding almost every day but a couple of months ago, I realised that she had become so stressed that nearly every interaction I had with her was starting to trigger her. I backed away to give her a bit more space. She only had a little time that she could stand to be online and there were too many things that she wanted to do in that time. I thought that by taking a step back, she could reach out to more people who might be geographically closer and able to assist.
Kate was a beautiful soul and she will be sorely missed by all of us.
diyalabs6192603 11p · 192 weeks ago
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Spoil your cat · 122 weeks ago
Many of these living arrangement aren't good, and many of the people who run those places really don't have the residents' best interest at heart. Those places are like old age homes and foster homes, where you sometimes hear horror stories. They're hard to trust. But then there are good ones, of course.
The best thing for an autistic adult is either to go on living at home or working and renting an apartment and living independently, but that isn't always an option.
Duncan · 112 weeks ago