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Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Hell

From what I know about hell (if there is such a place) it is shear torture with no escape.  Well, that pretty much describes my house on a day like this...actually a few days like this.

We are tired of the evening rants and rages, so we talk to the Psychiatrist about them.  She suggests this freakin Daytrana patch, which is a form of Adderall to replace his Focalin.  The patch is supposed to be smoother, with no crashing at the end of the day.

When she mentions Adderall, I tell her we had a bad experience with it in the past.  She says that's because we didn't have Abilify on board at the time, that will help balance things out.  Well...that would be a big fat NO!  Didn't happen.  

First of all, because of sensory issues, Red couldn't stand the feeling of the patch.  Secondly, the damn thing kept creeping and curling and coming off.  Thirdly, he turned in to this manic, perseverating, angry aggressive, hot mess!  After  3 days,  I discontinued use of it.  Apparently it's still somehow in his system, because he still does not have his shit together. 

He is going around in circles from one complaint to the next, begging for one impossible thing after another.  He has gone from invading my personal space to putting his hands on my arms in order to attempt to control my movement.  He is having all of these incoherent, implausible arguments with himself, basically.  I don't have the time or energy to go into detail about all of them.  I'll just give one example.

He says, "Why can't you get a job so that I can have all of the stuff that I want?!!!  I mean if you had a job we could buy a new HDTV that's LED backlit so I can get a better picture on my movie."

Me: "It doesn't matter what kind of  TV you watch that movie on (Harry Potter latest).  The movie was shot to look dark and scary.  If you could get up and get yourself out the door for school on time, I could be off on a job right now.  If I didn't have to spend so much time taking you to therapies and appointments and running over to your school when YOU have an issue, it would be easier for me to maintain a job.  YOU are my job!" 

We are all just drained by him.  Last night as I lay in bed, I think...we just have to take turns leaving the house to escape the madness.  Then again, home is supposed to be a place of peace.  Something has got to give.

The good news is...I am leaving on vacation tomorrow! Yay!!!! I am off to Los Angeles to see my Dad who is turning 82 on Friday.  He is almost as crazy as my son, but he's 82, it's not going to change and at least I don't have to live with him. This man thinks that the word motherf*#ker is the best word in the English language.  I will also get to see all of my friends and brothers and sisters.  Los Angeles is where I grew up.  

Aspergers Dad -will be on Mommy duty for 5 days.  He actually will take off work in order to do so.  What do you mean?  You can't focus 100% on your high-pressure, demanding job and take care of these kids at the same time?  Don't feel too sorry for him.  He left me alone with them during Spring Break and does so quite often when he travels for business.  (I think his business trips are really pleasure.  He gets to sleep every night in a nice quiet hotel room and have fine dining and cocktails on the companies dime.  Business my arse!)  

Besides, my mom is here to help with the cooking, washing and to call 911 in case we need to haul someone off to the looney bin. 

Good news to come about Blue's ARD meeting.  Will post soon. 

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