We are tired of the evening rants and rages, so we talk to the Psychiatrist about them. She suggests this freakin Daytrana patch, which is a form of Adderall to replace his Focalin. The patch is supposed to be smoother, with no crashing at the end of the day.
When she mentions Adderall, I tell her we had a bad experience with it in the past. She says that's because we didn't have Abilify on board at the time, that will help balance things out. Well...that would be a big fat NO! Didn't happen.
First of all, because of sensory issues, Red couldn't stand the feeling of the patch. Secondly, the damn thing kept creeping and curling and coming off. Thirdly, he turned in to this manic, perseverating, angry aggressive, hot mess! After 3 days, I discontinued use of it. Apparently it's still somehow in his system, because he still does not have his shit together.
He is going around in circles from one complaint to the next, begging for one impossible thing after another. He has gone from invading my personal space to putting his hands on my arms in order to attempt to control my movement. He is having all of these incoherent, implausible arguments with himself, basically. I don't have the time or energy to go into detail about all of them. I'll just give one example.
He says, "Why can't you get a job so that I can have all of the stuff that I want?!!! I mean if you had a job we could buy a new HDTV that's LED backlit so I can get a better picture on my movie."
Me: "It doesn't matter what kind of TV you watch that movie on (Harry Potter latest). The movie was shot to look dark and scary. If you could get up and get yourself out the door for school on time, I could be off on a job right now. If I didn't have to spend so much time taking you to therapies and appointments and running over to your school when YOU have an issue, it would be easier for me to maintain a job. YOU are my job!"
We are all just drained by him. Last night as I lay in bed, I think...we just have to take turns leaving the house to escape the madness. Then again, home is supposed to be a place of peace. Something has got to give.
The good news is...I am leaving on vacation tomorrow! Yay!!!! I am off to Los Angeles to see my Dad who is turning 82 on Friday. He is almost as crazy as my son, but he's 82, it's not going to change and at least I don't have to live with him. This man thinks that the word motherf*#ker is the best word in the English language. I will also get to see all of my friends and brothers and sisters. Los Angeles is where I grew up.
Aspergers Dad -will be on Mommy duty for 5 days. He actually will take off work in order to do so. What do you mean? You can't focus 100% on your high-pressure, demanding job and take care of these kids at the same time? Don't feel too sorry for him. He left me alone with them during Spring Break and does so quite often when he travels for business. (I think his business trips are really pleasure. He gets to sleep every night in a nice quiet hotel room and have fine dining and cocktails on the companies dime. Business my arse!)
Besides, my mom is here to help with the cooking, washing and to call 911 in case we need to haul someone off to the looney bin.
Good news to come about Blue's ARD meeting. Will post soon.
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Adelaide Dupont · 285 weeks ago
And for those of us who knew and appreciated these points in high school to a greater or lesser extent - always good to have a refresher and feel them through the current and future generations who we survived to be able to see.
I especially appreciated points 5, 7 and 10.
And young women not settling or settling down yet is a good thing.
"It's never too late to live our dreams" - but it may be too early for some of them!
And 8 of course.
nicole · 243 weeks ago
Risa · 230 weeks ago
LAH · 221 weeks ago
Maira L. Coral · 216 weeks ago
I was looking for information for my Multi-Genre Disability Research Project from my Early Childhood Special Education class on the web, when suddenly I came across your blog. I started reading this out of curiosity and I want to tell you that as you said yourself, you will not be Amanda Gorman, but you managed to make me shed some tears, perhaps because I felt totally identified with your words, especially in the part that you speak of your son. My son also has Asperger's syndrome, he is 19 years old and he is in the second semester of College. Also like yours, he takes classes from home, likewise my eldest daughter is also taking college classes from her room. At the same time, that I work as a preschool teacher from my kitchen through a computer, my husband sleeps in the room during the day because he works at night. Also in the afternoons I myself take virtual school classes. I am a 51-year-old Latin woman who began to learn the English language as adult, so maybe you find some deficiencies in my writing, however, I was very moved by how proud you express yourself about your son. Referent your mother, I liked the humorous tone that you give when your talk about her, so I did not want to miss this opportunity and stopped my assignments for a moment to let you know that your words do make a difference, since they reach the heart of at least those who have opportunity to read you. I want confess you that is the most long I have written to someone I don't know, because your words inspired me, thank you...
Gavin Bollard · 209 weeks ago
Thanks for this post. I've been very distracted of late and so this was how I found out about our friend Kate. Kate's struggles were very real but they were so constant and so wide-ranging that it was difficult for people around her to address them. I think it's going to take a while longer for me to process all this.
I learned so much from Kate because she was always quick to point out the many injustices in the world. In her glory days, she was very much a crusader and she cared for everyone. Over the years, as her situation took its toll, I came to realise that it was the fact that she couldn't be put in a single specific category, that made the system fail her. She needed help that they weren't set up to provide.
She needed more care and she needed to be less alone. I'm so sorry that this has happened.
For a long while we were corresponding almost every day but a couple of months ago, I realised that she had become so stressed that nearly every interaction I had with her was starting to trigger her. I backed away to give her a bit more space. She only had a little time that she could stand to be online and there were too many things that she wanted to do in that time. I thought that by taking a step back, she could reach out to more people who might be geographically closer and able to assist.
Kate was a beautiful soul and she will be sorely missed by all of us.
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Spoil your cat · 121 weeks ago
Many of these living arrangement aren't good, and many of the people who run those places really don't have the residents' best interest at heart. Those places are like old age homes and foster homes, where you sometimes hear horror stories. They're hard to trust. But then there are good ones, of course.
The best thing for an autistic adult is either to go on living at home or working and renting an apartment and living independently, but that isn't always an option.
Duncan · 112 weeks ago