How would you feel if I growled and snarled at you every time I look your way? Would it hurt your feelings?
If every time you pass your dad you growl at him...do you think he's going to turn around and help you download a new program for your computer?
If you constantly say, "I hate Dad! He's unfair?" Do you think he's going to spend time and money to take you to Six Flags or anywhere else fun? Why would he do that?
Why would I go out of my way to come and pick you up from school? When I dropped you off at school, you were kicking my glove compartment because you didn't want to get out of the car? You can ride the bus...sorry dude.
We have to put a roof over your head, food in your stomach, clothes on your back, and provide and education...beyond that everything is gravy. It's surplus. We Don't HAVE TO DO IT!
Why is it that you can show respect to people outside of this house, but not to the people who love and take care of you?
If you're not showing any respect...why would I hand you everything that you ask for on a silver platter?
You do know that doesn't add up...don't you? Do you make the connection?
Do you just enjoy the script...the way it sounds coming out of your mouth, when you ask for things that you know that you're not going to get?
Why do you yell to the top of your lungs at us and then five-minutes later say, "I'm sorry Mom will you do thus and such for me?"
Do you realize you can't treat people like crap and expect them not to have any negative feelings about that...or you?
It's unfair that your younger brother has to endure your rants and your rages.
It's not fair that he works so hard, he goes to bed on time so that he can be up and ready to go to school on time...but you keep him up because you're bitching about something.
We will always love you...but we will not be walked on, walked over, slapped in the face and then give you a great big hug and a few extra dollars in your pocket. It just doesn't add up.
I do everything within my power to make your life just a little bit better. You require so much time and energy that I don't have time for much else.
I realize that you have autism...you're angry...you're depressed.
Hell...I'm angry! I'm depressed! I don't feel like getting up in the morning -but I do! I work through it.
I am sorry that you feel so miserable most of the time.
I am doing the best I can for you.
Why don't you get it?
Why don't you make the connection?
What's it going to take?
Your Comments are sincerely appreciated...
________________________
Logging you in...
Adelaide Dupont · 285 weeks ago
And for those of us who knew and appreciated these points in high school to a greater or lesser extent - always good to have a refresher and feel them through the current and future generations who we survived to be able to see.
I especially appreciated points 5, 7 and 10.
And young women not settling or settling down yet is a good thing.
"It's never too late to live our dreams" - but it may be too early for some of them!
And 8 of course.
nicole · 243 weeks ago
Risa · 230 weeks ago
LAH · 221 weeks ago
Maira L. Coral · 216 weeks ago
I was looking for information for my Multi-Genre Disability Research Project from my Early Childhood Special Education class on the web, when suddenly I came across your blog. I started reading this out of curiosity and I want to tell you that as you said yourself, you will not be Amanda Gorman, but you managed to make me shed some tears, perhaps because I felt totally identified with your words, especially in the part that you speak of your son. My son also has Asperger's syndrome, he is 19 years old and he is in the second semester of College. Also like yours, he takes classes from home, likewise my eldest daughter is also taking college classes from her room. At the same time, that I work as a preschool teacher from my kitchen through a computer, my husband sleeps in the room during the day because he works at night. Also in the afternoons I myself take virtual school classes. I am a 51-year-old Latin woman who began to learn the English language as adult, so maybe you find some deficiencies in my writing, however, I was very moved by how proud you express yourself about your son. Referent your mother, I liked the humorous tone that you give when your talk about her, so I did not want to miss this opportunity and stopped my assignments for a moment to let you know that your words do make a difference, since they reach the heart of at least those who have opportunity to read you. I want confess you that is the most long I have written to someone I don't know, because your words inspired me, thank you...
Gavin Bollard · 209 weeks ago
Thanks for this post. I've been very distracted of late and so this was how I found out about our friend Kate. Kate's struggles were very real but they were so constant and so wide-ranging that it was difficult for people around her to address them. I think it's going to take a while longer for me to process all this.
I learned so much from Kate because she was always quick to point out the many injustices in the world. In her glory days, she was very much a crusader and she cared for everyone. Over the years, as her situation took its toll, I came to realise that it was the fact that she couldn't be put in a single specific category, that made the system fail her. She needed help that they weren't set up to provide.
She needed more care and she needed to be less alone. I'm so sorry that this has happened.
For a long while we were corresponding almost every day but a couple of months ago, I realised that she had become so stressed that nearly every interaction I had with her was starting to trigger her. I backed away to give her a bit more space. She only had a little time that she could stand to be online and there were too many things that she wanted to do in that time. I thought that by taking a step back, she could reach out to more people who might be geographically closer and able to assist.
Kate was a beautiful soul and she will be sorely missed by all of us.
diyalabs6192603 11p · 192 weeks ago
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Spoil your cat · 122 weeks ago
Many of these living arrangement aren't good, and many of the people who run those places really don't have the residents' best interest at heart. Those places are like old age homes and foster homes, where you sometimes hear horror stories. They're hard to trust. But then there are good ones, of course.
The best thing for an autistic adult is either to go on living at home or working and renting an apartment and living independently, but that isn't always an option.
Duncan · 112 weeks ago