On the day he left I posted on facebook, "My little devil is off to Los Angeles a.k.a. Hollywood where he will be playing the part of Angel for the rest of the family." He really does behave so much better when I am not around. He saves all the ugliness and meltdowns just for me. Lucky me!
My first painting from Art Lessons With "Blue"
He is 15 now and according to American Airlines, considered to be an adult for the purpose of traveling with them. He has flown several times before -alone. I always fly him direct. I take no chances on him being able to figure out how to get from one flight to the next, or heaven forbid, if he got stuck somewhere. This time, I noted his reservation as a 15 year-old with autism traveling alone. Of course, I had to justify this with "special services" stating that he had "no behavior issues" and that he would be able to handle it if they had an emergency landing. Of course, I had no idea weather or not this was true. I would just have to trust God, American Airlines employees, and my sons ability to use his cell phone to call me if he were confused about anything.
I confess...I was desperate for him to go. Everything would have to be alright.
I wanted to be able to walk him to the gate, to see him get on the plane and for a family member to pick him up at the gate in Los Angeles. I can't imagine him finding his way down to baggage claim without getting terribly confused. Heaven forbid, if he got down there and didn't see the family member who was there to meet him.
"Why'd you have to tell them I have autism? There going to think I'm like a baby," he says.
"No they're going to think you have high-functioning autism, and they will help watch out for you and keep you from getting lost. Having a disability doesn't have to be all bad. It's allowing me to walk you to the plane." Not to mention, they let him pre-board! Nice!
So he made it there safely. My nephew Damon, was late to pick him up because of security in the busy LAX airport. Thank God they kept him at the gate until my nephew got there. He called me from his cell as soon as he got off the plane and put the American Airlines employee on the phone, who assured me that he was fine and would be at the gate with her until the family member arrived.
He spent that night with big Damon and his son, little Damon. They went to "In and Out" (his favorite California burger joint) and watched the planes land and take off. The following morning they went off to the barbershop to get haircuts. My brother Kevin picked him up from there and they spent the day together along with my nephew Karsen. Uncle Kevin took him to lunch and to Best Buy to hang out.
From there he went to my Dad's (his grandfather) spent the night and showed him how to use facebook. Yes...my dad "Hollywood" (as he is called by his friends) is 81 years oldm and he's on facebook. I no longer have to worry about all the cursing my dad does. He and my son can go neck and neck in the cursing department.
Everyone came together at my sister Sheilas house on Thanksgiving day. Red got to see all of his California cousins, aunts and uncles. He ate the meal without complaint. Last year, I spent all day cooking for him to say to me, "Do I have to eat this?"
Thanksgiving night, he finally got to see his favorite uncle, my brother Ward Jr. They have so much in common. They can talk for hours about photography, video, HD, Blu Ray and all things electronic. He was looking forward to doing some video editing projects with his uncle.
On Friday, Uncle Ward, and big Damon took him to the "Los Angeles Auto Show". He loves and knows quite a bit about exotic cars. He took his camera to take pictures and video. With all of this activity, and being surrounded by family love, one would think he doesn't have anything to complain about right?
He has called me every single day not to tell me what an awesome time he is having, but to do what? COMPLAIN!
"My camera ran out of battery already. I really need a new camera."
"I want a camera like Uncle Wards."
"I really need to be administrator on my computer."
"I really need to upgrade my Blu-Ray playback software when I get home."
"Why can't you just buy me..."
Wow! I try to drown him out by asking positive questions about what he's doing and who is is spending time with. Finally, I told him. "Look! You're on vacation in California and I am not. If you're not calling to tell to tell me what a good time you're having...don't call me at all."
Thanks for Giving me this trip Mom...you're the best!
Logging you in...
Adelaide Dupont · 285 weeks ago
And for those of us who knew and appreciated these points in high school to a greater or lesser extent - always good to have a refresher and feel them through the current and future generations who we survived to be able to see.
I especially appreciated points 5, 7 and 10.
And young women not settling or settling down yet is a good thing.
"It's never too late to live our dreams" - but it may be too early for some of them!
And 8 of course.
nicole · 243 weeks ago
Risa · 230 weeks ago
LAH · 221 weeks ago
Maira L. Coral · 216 weeks ago
I was looking for information for my Multi-Genre Disability Research Project from my Early Childhood Special Education class on the web, when suddenly I came across your blog. I started reading this out of curiosity and I want to tell you that as you said yourself, you will not be Amanda Gorman, but you managed to make me shed some tears, perhaps because I felt totally identified with your words, especially in the part that you speak of your son. My son also has Asperger's syndrome, he is 19 years old and he is in the second semester of College. Also like yours, he takes classes from home, likewise my eldest daughter is also taking college classes from her room. At the same time, that I work as a preschool teacher from my kitchen through a computer, my husband sleeps in the room during the day because he works at night. Also in the afternoons I myself take virtual school classes. I am a 51-year-old Latin woman who began to learn the English language as adult, so maybe you find some deficiencies in my writing, however, I was very moved by how proud you express yourself about your son. Referent your mother, I liked the humorous tone that you give when your talk about her, so I did not want to miss this opportunity and stopped my assignments for a moment to let you know that your words do make a difference, since they reach the heart of at least those who have opportunity to read you. I want confess you that is the most long I have written to someone I don't know, because your words inspired me, thank you...
Gavin Bollard · 209 weeks ago
Thanks for this post. I've been very distracted of late and so this was how I found out about our friend Kate. Kate's struggles were very real but they were so constant and so wide-ranging that it was difficult for people around her to address them. I think it's going to take a while longer for me to process all this.
I learned so much from Kate because she was always quick to point out the many injustices in the world. In her glory days, she was very much a crusader and she cared for everyone. Over the years, as her situation took its toll, I came to realise that it was the fact that she couldn't be put in a single specific category, that made the system fail her. She needed help that they weren't set up to provide.
She needed more care and she needed to be less alone. I'm so sorry that this has happened.
For a long while we were corresponding almost every day but a couple of months ago, I realised that she had become so stressed that nearly every interaction I had with her was starting to trigger her. I backed away to give her a bit more space. She only had a little time that she could stand to be online and there were too many things that she wanted to do in that time. I thought that by taking a step back, she could reach out to more people who might be geographically closer and able to assist.
Kate was a beautiful soul and she will be sorely missed by all of us.
diyalabs6192603 11p · 192 weeks ago
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Spoil your cat · 122 weeks ago
Many of these living arrangement aren't good, and many of the people who run those places really don't have the residents' best interest at heart. Those places are like old age homes and foster homes, where you sometimes hear horror stories. They're hard to trust. But then there are good ones, of course.
The best thing for an autistic adult is either to go on living at home or working and renting an apartment and living independently, but that isn't always an option.
Duncan · 112 weeks ago