For some reason folks from all over the world google this post. So I thought I would feature it today. I hope you enjoy it...
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I was battling and fighting with everyone in my dreams last night. I had to wake myself up because I was so tired of fighting. Right now I can't remember who all I was fighting with. By fighting I mean arguing mostly.
I went to bed last night in a bit of a mood for that very reason. I'm just so tired of the fight -the fights between brothers over anything and everything, the fights between father and one son or another. Fighting to get them to behave. I am the official referee when they are all fighting.
Last night my mother weighed in on the fight -the constant battles in our house. I had taken her out for dinner and cocktails an in her inebriated, relaxed state, she felt free to give me her unsolicited opinion. We had just gone to a movie. I would have preferred to talk about that instead of how I raise my children. I was feeling rather relaxed myself by the martini I was drinking. She instantly killed my buzz.
Red -who had reached his goal of getting what he wanted, only to find out that it isn't what he thought it would be, thus -he is not happy. Thus -he is being ungrateful and already asking for something else. Thus -Dad is totally done with him. Thus -he is being a pain in ass to everyone in the house.
When I come home -buzz already killed, Red pounces on me verbally about what else -why what he has isn't working the way he thinks it should and why he needs something else to make it better. "I can not help you with that," I say and then retreat to my room.
Blue accompanies me. We lock the door behind us. We want to close out the rest of the world for a while. We watch a couple of family comedies on the DVR, "The Middle" and "Modern Family". He gets it. We laugh together. He says to me, "I'm glad that made you feel better Mom." I thank him for hanging with me and for caring about my feelings.
This morning I play possum, pretending to be asleep when Red enters my room, uninvited, and stands over me and says, "Good Morning Mom".
It's Sunday. I want a peaceful day, I'm am not ready for another day of the fight.
_________________________
I was battling and fighting with everyone in my dreams last night. I had to wake myself up because I was so tired of fighting. Right now I can't remember who all I was fighting with. By fighting I mean arguing mostly.
I went to bed last night in a bit of a mood for that very reason. I'm just so tired of the fight -the fights between brothers over anything and everything, the fights between father and one son or another. Fighting to get them to behave. I am the official referee when they are all fighting.
Last night my mother weighed in on the fight -the constant battles in our house. I had taken her out for dinner and cocktails an in her inebriated, relaxed state, she felt free to give me her unsolicited opinion. We had just gone to a movie. I would have preferred to talk about that instead of how I raise my children. I was feeling rather relaxed myself by the martini I was drinking. She instantly killed my buzz.
Red -who had reached his goal of getting what he wanted, only to find out that it isn't what he thought it would be, thus -he is not happy. Thus -he is being ungrateful and already asking for something else. Thus -Dad is totally done with him. Thus -he is being a pain in ass to everyone in the house.
When I come home -buzz already killed, Red pounces on me verbally about what else -why what he has isn't working the way he thinks it should and why he needs something else to make it better. "I can not help you with that," I say and then retreat to my room.
Blue accompanies me. We lock the door behind us. We want to close out the rest of the world for a while. We watch a couple of family comedies on the DVR, "The Middle" and "Modern Family". He gets it. We laugh together. He says to me, "I'm glad that made you feel better Mom." I thank him for hanging with me and for caring about my feelings.
This morning I play possum, pretending to be asleep when Red enters my room, uninvited, and stands over me and says, "Good Morning Mom".
It's Sunday. I want a peaceful day, I'm am not ready for another day of the fight.
Logging you in...
Adelaide Dupont · 285 weeks ago
And for those of us who knew and appreciated these points in high school to a greater or lesser extent - always good to have a refresher and feel them through the current and future generations who we survived to be able to see.
I especially appreciated points 5, 7 and 10.
And young women not settling or settling down yet is a good thing.
"It's never too late to live our dreams" - but it may be too early for some of them!
And 8 of course.
nicole · 243 weeks ago
Risa · 230 weeks ago
LAH · 221 weeks ago
Maira L. Coral · 216 weeks ago
I was looking for information for my Multi-Genre Disability Research Project from my Early Childhood Special Education class on the web, when suddenly I came across your blog. I started reading this out of curiosity and I want to tell you that as you said yourself, you will not be Amanda Gorman, but you managed to make me shed some tears, perhaps because I felt totally identified with your words, especially in the part that you speak of your son. My son also has Asperger's syndrome, he is 19 years old and he is in the second semester of College. Also like yours, he takes classes from home, likewise my eldest daughter is also taking college classes from her room. At the same time, that I work as a preschool teacher from my kitchen through a computer, my husband sleeps in the room during the day because he works at night. Also in the afternoons I myself take virtual school classes. I am a 51-year-old Latin woman who began to learn the English language as adult, so maybe you find some deficiencies in my writing, however, I was very moved by how proud you express yourself about your son. Referent your mother, I liked the humorous tone that you give when your talk about her, so I did not want to miss this opportunity and stopped my assignments for a moment to let you know that your words do make a difference, since they reach the heart of at least those who have opportunity to read you. I want confess you that is the most long I have written to someone I don't know, because your words inspired me, thank you...
Gavin Bollard · 209 weeks ago
Thanks for this post. I've been very distracted of late and so this was how I found out about our friend Kate. Kate's struggles were very real but they were so constant and so wide-ranging that it was difficult for people around her to address them. I think it's going to take a while longer for me to process all this.
I learned so much from Kate because she was always quick to point out the many injustices in the world. In her glory days, she was very much a crusader and she cared for everyone. Over the years, as her situation took its toll, I came to realise that it was the fact that she couldn't be put in a single specific category, that made the system fail her. She needed help that they weren't set up to provide.
She needed more care and she needed to be less alone. I'm so sorry that this has happened.
For a long while we were corresponding almost every day but a couple of months ago, I realised that she had become so stressed that nearly every interaction I had with her was starting to trigger her. I backed away to give her a bit more space. She only had a little time that she could stand to be online and there were too many things that she wanted to do in that time. I thought that by taking a step back, she could reach out to more people who might be geographically closer and able to assist.
Kate was a beautiful soul and she will be sorely missed by all of us.
diyalabs6192603 11p · 192 weeks ago
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Spoil your cat · 121 weeks ago
Many of these living arrangement aren't good, and many of the people who run those places really don't have the residents' best interest at heart. Those places are like old age homes and foster homes, where you sometimes hear horror stories. They're hard to trust. But then there are good ones, of course.
The best thing for an autistic adult is either to go on living at home or working and renting an apartment and living independently, but that isn't always an option.
Duncan · 112 weeks ago