Today's Blog Gem
Red is starting to work on his video editing business again. I will be writing about that adventure very soon. In the meantime here is a previous post that I think is still very relevant:
I finally escaped to the movies with my girlfriend Friday afternoon. It took some maneuvering, switching child transporting duties over to my husband, but I managed it. We saw the movie "Social Network". Loved it! Very interesting subject matter, script and characters.
Afterward my girlfriend and I debated whether or not the main character had Aspergers. I definitely think so. He was brilliant, but lacked facial expression, and social skills. He had friends, but did not really know how to interact with them. Had a girlfriend who he really liked, but because of his bluntness, and lack of social and communication skills, inability to be empathetic, he couldn't figure out how to keep her or his best friend. He had tunnel vision, hyper-focusing abilities, a great deal of intelligence. All he could see was his goal....what he wanted to do -which he hoped would finally lead him into social acceptance.
So that guy, Mark Zuckerberg -he lives here in my house. He's only 15 and he's black, he's not exactly a genious but he has that same hyper-focus on the things that he wants. He doesn't have the social skills to maintain relationships with peers, although he desperately wants to. He often self-sabotages himself with things he does and says. Of course he's a lot less mature than the college kid we saw in the movie. He is only 15 after all.
He has been hyper-focused lately on achieving the goal of buying a Blue-ray drive for his computer. We finally cut the cord and are unwilling to buy him anything other than basic food, shelter, and clothing. We can not please his insatiable appetite for all things electronic. He has been forced to come up with creative ways to earn money. He has a video editing business, he does chores, saves money from birthdays, Christmas, etc. The latest thing is that he wants to sell things he already has but doesn't use. The latest bright idea is to sell his television. He says he doesn't really watch it and would rather watch "high-definition" movies on his computer with his new wide-screen monitor. His older brother -who lives in his own apartment agreed to buy this tube television for $50.00. Of course, we haven't seen him or the money since they made this agreement.
So we're having a garage sale yesterday -and Mr. Impatient-Tunnel-Vision wants to put the t.v. out there. He is now willing to sell it for $30.00 to a stranger, rather than wait for his brother who really needs a television. Wow! I was like that is total 'Mark Zuckerberg character in the movie!' Forget about those who love and care about you...let's get to the bottom line --what I want now! As God would have it -the t.v. didn't sell at the garage sale. It will go to his brother today.
Hyper-focus can be a good thing. I could make you extremely successful if it is put to good use -as Mr. Zuckerberg did with the invention and development of facebook, of which I am a major fan. It is one of my guilty pleasures --can't stay off of the damn thing. The question is, will that success bring you happiness? What I've seen so far -is that my son is never happy or satisfied for long. He reaches his goal of getting what he wants eventually -but then it's just on to the next thing that he wants. The movie also depicted an unhappy person who was very successful in the world of business.
In my mind -true happiness comes from relationships with those who you love and who love you. It comes from experiences, not things. It comes from doing something for others who are less fortunate -or just plain old selfless giving. I don't know if that is something that my son will ever experience. And even if he does -will he ever be truly happy? As long as he thinks happiness comes from getting things -I don't see how he can be. I can try to teach selflessness but I don't know if I can break into his mind and heart. At some point it has to come from within. Does he even have the capacity to make that happen?
Perhaps in the Aspergers mind -the idea of happiness is not the same as atypical people. Perhaps it is something I will never totally understand. However, I think it comes naturally to want your children to be happy. It's difficult to face the possibility that I may not see that happen for my son.
Red is starting to work on his video editing business again. I will be writing about that adventure very soon. In the meantime here is a previous post that I think is still very relevant:
I finally escaped to the movies with my girlfriend Friday afternoon. It took some maneuvering, switching child transporting duties over to my husband, but I managed it. We saw the movie "Social Network". Loved it! Very interesting subject matter, script and characters.
Afterward my girlfriend and I debated whether or not the main character had Aspergers. I definitely think so. He was brilliant, but lacked facial expression, and social skills. He had friends, but did not really know how to interact with them. Had a girlfriend who he really liked, but because of his bluntness, and lack of social and communication skills, inability to be empathetic, he couldn't figure out how to keep her or his best friend. He had tunnel vision, hyper-focusing abilities, a great deal of intelligence. All he could see was his goal....what he wanted to do -which he hoped would finally lead him into social acceptance.
So that guy, Mark Zuckerberg -he lives here in my house. He's only 15 and he's black, he's not exactly a genious but he has that same hyper-focus on the things that he wants. He doesn't have the social skills to maintain relationships with peers, although he desperately wants to. He often self-sabotages himself with things he does and says. Of course he's a lot less mature than the college kid we saw in the movie. He is only 15 after all.
He has been hyper-focused lately on achieving the goal of buying a Blue-ray drive for his computer. We finally cut the cord and are unwilling to buy him anything other than basic food, shelter, and clothing. We can not please his insatiable appetite for all things electronic. He has been forced to come up with creative ways to earn money. He has a video editing business, he does chores, saves money from birthdays, Christmas, etc. The latest thing is that he wants to sell things he already has but doesn't use. The latest bright idea is to sell his television. He says he doesn't really watch it and would rather watch "high-definition" movies on his computer with his new wide-screen monitor. His older brother -who lives in his own apartment agreed to buy this tube television for $50.00. Of course, we haven't seen him or the money since they made this agreement.
So we're having a garage sale yesterday -and Mr. Impatient-Tunnel-Vision wants to put the t.v. out there. He is now willing to sell it for $30.00 to a stranger, rather than wait for his brother who really needs a television. Wow! I was like that is total 'Mark Zuckerberg character in the movie!' Forget about those who love and care about you...let's get to the bottom line --what I want now! As God would have it -the t.v. didn't sell at the garage sale. It will go to his brother today.
Hyper-focus can be a good thing. I could make you extremely successful if it is put to good use -as Mr. Zuckerberg did with the invention and development of facebook, of which I am a major fan. It is one of my guilty pleasures --can't stay off of the damn thing. The question is, will that success bring you happiness? What I've seen so far -is that my son is never happy or satisfied for long. He reaches his goal of getting what he wants eventually -but then it's just on to the next thing that he wants. The movie also depicted an unhappy person who was very successful in the world of business.
In my mind -true happiness comes from relationships with those who you love and who love you. It comes from experiences, not things. It comes from doing something for others who are less fortunate -or just plain old selfless giving. I don't know if that is something that my son will ever experience. And even if he does -will he ever be truly happy? As long as he thinks happiness comes from getting things -I don't see how he can be. I can try to teach selflessness but I don't know if I can break into his mind and heart. At some point it has to come from within. Does he even have the capacity to make that happen?
Perhaps in the Aspergers mind -the idea of happiness is not the same as atypical people. Perhaps it is something I will never totally understand. However, I think it comes naturally to want your children to be happy. It's difficult to face the possibility that I may not see that happen for my son.
