After so many were killed once again, by a madman with a gun/or guns, I've been feeling helpless, depressed, sad and sometimes even angry, especially, when politicians start their rhetoric and pontificating. Nothing changes.
Then I read this, and I knew I had to share it with my audience. It captures the feelings of helplessness that a mother feels when we see these things happening in our world. We want to protect our children, but we are afraid that maybe we can't.
The following post was written as a Facebook Status by my friend Kendra Norton-Qualls. Kendra is a friend and fellow autism mom. We have a kindred spirit kind of connection. She is an artist with words.
I wish men knew what it felt like
to hold a life inside of you
for months and months
and months
to have that life be dependent on you
for e v e r y t h i n g
this is a man's world is it not?
did I get that wrong?
well
where the fuck are they??
why don't they lead?
do they know how?
9 months is too damn long
do you know what it feels like
to carry a LIFE - for months on end
to have your whole body change
your emotions - change
your perspective - change
your life - change
and then to watch that life
grow and learn and mature
to have that beautiful blessed miracle
be snatched brutally from this earth
because MEN AND THEIR FUCKING GUNS!!!
well I don't (thank the goddesses)
but too many mothers do
way too many.
how do you receive a text
where your child is trapped in a bathroom
because a man and a gun
and you can't save him
you can't save him
you can't save that life
that you held for months
that you nurtured and cared for
you can't save your miracle
because men and their guns
sometimes I don't like y'all (men)
sometimes I don't wanna be compassionate
or understanding
or empafuckingthetic
sometimes I have little to no respect
because most times you are weak
demonstratively weak
before you start to argue
look at our "man's world"
ask yourself who is the glue in your own life
I bet it's a woman
shit we do so much
SHIT!!
do we not populate the fucking planet
do we not give you love
over and over and over and over...
who is your first teacher in life???
why do you ignore our cries??
what are you reaching for??
it is fair to hold you accountable
men
it is fair
fix your fucking mess
you dominate the business world, the financial world and the political world
the world of weapons
the world of war
dominated by men
fucking lead or get the fuck out the way
9 months is too damn long!!!!!!
I'm so upset.
I don't care if this is an unfair rant
y'all are unfair.
after Sandy Hook and nothing happened
nothing changed
y'all just went on
where were your VOICES!! Of outcry? Of disgust? where are they now?
Is this what male leadership is?
A world where we give birth to life
and then y'all take it away???
What is wrong with you?
Is it our fault?
Is this burden to be laid at our feet as well?
(shyt. 馃槥 we do so much)
No mother who has lost her baby, whether our uterus birthed that baby or not
No mother cares about your empty ass thoughts and prayers!!!
We want our babies back.
how come you're so good at sweating us for sex
but not sweating your fellow man for peace?????
I swear sometimes I don't believe in you anymore.
I wanna take my own boys far far away
and save them
save them from this world of "men"
~Kendra Norton-Qualls
I felt compelled to share this with you. However, I still won't argue about it. When Kendra speaks of "men" of course, she doesn't mean "all men." She is married to a pretty awesome man and has a couple of young men that she's raising. For that matter ...I love and want to protect the young men that I have raised. You know who she's talking about ...and so do I.
Logging you in...
Adelaide Dupont 路 285 weeks ago
And for those of us who knew and appreciated these points in high school to a greater or lesser extent - always good to have a refresher and feel them through the current and future generations who we survived to be able to see.
I especially appreciated points 5, 7 and 10.
And young women not settling or settling down yet is a good thing.
"It's never too late to live our dreams" - but it may be too early for some of them!
And 8 of course.
nicole 路 243 weeks ago
Risa 路 230 weeks ago
LAH 路 221 weeks ago
Maira L. Coral 路 216 weeks ago
I was looking for information for my Multi-Genre Disability Research Project from my Early Childhood Special Education class on the web, when suddenly I came across your blog. I started reading this out of curiosity and I want to tell you that as you said yourself, you will not be Amanda Gorman, but you managed to make me shed some tears, perhaps because I felt totally identified with your words, especially in the part that you speak of your son. My son also has Asperger's syndrome, he is 19 years old and he is in the second semester of College. Also like yours, he takes classes from home, likewise my eldest daughter is also taking college classes from her room. At the same time, that I work as a preschool teacher from my kitchen through a computer, my husband sleeps in the room during the day because he works at night. Also in the afternoons I myself take virtual school classes. I am a 51-year-old Latin woman who began to learn the English language as adult, so maybe you find some deficiencies in my writing, however, I was very moved by how proud you express yourself about your son. Referent your mother, I liked the humorous tone that you give when your talk about her, so I did not want to miss this opportunity and stopped my assignments for a moment to let you know that your words do make a difference, since they reach the heart of at least those who have opportunity to read you. I want confess you that is the most long I have written to someone I don't know, because your words inspired me, thank you...
Gavin Bollard 路 209 weeks ago
Thanks for this post. I've been very distracted of late and so this was how I found out about our friend Kate. Kate's struggles were very real but they were so constant and so wide-ranging that it was difficult for people around her to address them. I think it's going to take a while longer for me to process all this.
I learned so much from Kate because she was always quick to point out the many injustices in the world. In her glory days, she was very much a crusader and she cared for everyone. Over the years, as her situation took its toll, I came to realise that it was the fact that she couldn't be put in a single specific category, that made the system fail her. She needed help that they weren't set up to provide.
She needed more care and she needed to be less alone. I'm so sorry that this has happened.
For a long while we were corresponding almost every day but a couple of months ago, I realised that she had become so stressed that nearly every interaction I had with her was starting to trigger her. I backed away to give her a bit more space. She only had a little time that she could stand to be online and there were too many things that she wanted to do in that time. I thought that by taking a step back, she could reach out to more people who might be geographically closer and able to assist.
Kate was a beautiful soul and she will be sorely missed by all of us.
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Spoil your cat 路 122 weeks ago
Many of these living arrangement aren't good, and many of the people who run those places really don't have the residents' best interest at heart. Those places are like old age homes and foster homes, where you sometimes hear horror stories. They're hard to trust. But then there are good ones, of course.
The best thing for an autistic adult is either to go on living at home or working and renting an apartment and living independently, but that isn't always an option.
Duncan 路 112 weeks ago