When we are in the the trenches of raising our Aspergers children, we run into difficult periods. This can be said of raising any child, especially during the teen years. As parents we wonder, will we EVER get through this? Will this child ever be a person I can stand to be around for more than 15 minutes? Maybe that's just me. It's probably you too if you're willing to admit it. It may sound terrible, but to be brutally honest, the teen years are rough.
There are times, when I just want to hide in my bathroom with the door locked, with my laptop and a glass of wine. Yes. In the bathroom. You see my bathroom is inside of my bedroom. I can lock my bedroom door and then lock the bathroom door for extra security. I turn on the fan and wallah! I can't hear a thing. TMI? Oh well.
Somedays, I don't have the energy for another fight. Like when they are talking a million words per minute, without ceasing. When they come across as rude, disrespectful, know-it-alls. I know it's not really about me. It's about the pain that they are experiencing. It's about what's going on inside their own heads. But it feels like it's about me and it hurts. Sometimes, the barrage of negativity and the woe is me, my life sucks, mentality is too much to deal with.
I'm in the throes of this with Blue. Finally, in this 18th year of life I see in Red, there is hope. Though he has a long way to go to really grow up ...geez he has come such a long way!
If you've been following my blog for a while, you got to know my friend and fellow Aspergers mama Kathleen when she wrote "If You Really Knew Me" A guest Post back in September of 2013. She is a mother of three handsome, amazingly unique young men with different abilities. They are ages, 13, 15, and 20. Her boys have an alphabet soup of diagnoses.
A few days ago, she wrote a lovingly honest update on her son 15 year-old son Jay who has Aspergers. I think is worthy of sharing with all of you. Without further ado...here she is.
By Kathleen Johnson
I have been bragging on my 15 year-old son sooooooo much lately. Seriously, things were soooo bad not that long ago and now they are sooo good now, that I can't help but be in a state of amazement. He is definitely growing up. I never thought I would be able to genuinely say, I enjoy his company, but I do!
For me, with 3 boys, my favorite child changes from time to time. At any time I usually can't get enough of one of them and my Aspie is that one these days! He watches his shows with me in my room, he is chatty Kathy with me. He has been waking up on his own and in a super mood.
I have been telling him for years his hands are super rough (like he works for a living with them). He is lotioning them regularly because he said he doesn't want his future wife to have to deal with it. He has been brushing his teeth and showering regularly without being prompted. His gross hygienic habits seem to be a thing of the past. He has been keeping his room clean and has been generally cooperative with me and his father. This is very out of ordinary. He isn't as overbearing with his older brother. They can have a regular conversation without anyone flipping out. That's huge!
Also, I asked him if he plans on going to college. He said of course. When asked for what, he said homicide detective or forensic anthropologist. I told him with his mental health history, I'm not sure of homicide detective is an option. He told me he had spoken with the career counselor at school (his special needs school) and she said that should not prevent him.
I am so flippin happy for his growth I just can't begin to convey to you all how far he has come!!! There is hope!
But I have to say this... it wasn't until after the worst of puberty was behind us and equally important, as I see it is that he has been off all pharmaceuticals since May 2013. On Amino Acid Therapy and orthomolecular medicine (supplements) only.
I feel like I can breathe...like the feeling you get when you put the hyperactive baby down for the nap and they actually fall asleep.
Editorial Note: Amino Acid and orthomolecular supplement therapy may not work for everyone. I tried this recently with Blue and because he is in the middle of puberty, and with his body's current chemistry, aminos alone did not work for him. I will say that it is definitely worth investigating.
I hope that Kathleen's update brings you hope for your child.
~Karen
There are times, when I just want to hide in my bathroom with the door locked, with my laptop and a glass of wine. Yes. In the bathroom. You see my bathroom is inside of my bedroom. I can lock my bedroom door and then lock the bathroom door for extra security. I turn on the fan and wallah! I can't hear a thing. TMI? Oh well.
Somedays, I don't have the energy for another fight. Like when they are talking a million words per minute, without ceasing. When they come across as rude, disrespectful, know-it-alls. I know it's not really about me. It's about the pain that they are experiencing. It's about what's going on inside their own heads. But it feels like it's about me and it hurts. Sometimes, the barrage of negativity and the woe is me, my life sucks, mentality is too much to deal with.
I'm in the throes of this with Blue. Finally, in this 18th year of life I see in Red, there is hope. Though he has a long way to go to really grow up ...geez he has come such a long way!
If you've been following my blog for a while, you got to know my friend and fellow Aspergers mama Kathleen when she wrote "If You Really Knew Me" A guest Post back in September of 2013. She is a mother of three handsome, amazingly unique young men with different abilities. They are ages, 13, 15, and 20. Her boys have an alphabet soup of diagnoses.
A few days ago, she wrote a lovingly honest update on her son 15 year-old son Jay who has Aspergers. I think is worthy of sharing with all of you. Without further ado...here she is.
By Kathleen Johnson
I have been bragging on my 15 year-old son sooooooo much lately. Seriously, things were soooo bad not that long ago and now they are sooo good now, that I can't help but be in a state of amazement. He is definitely growing up. I never thought I would be able to genuinely say, I enjoy his company, but I do!
For me, with 3 boys, my favorite child changes from time to time. At any time I usually can't get enough of one of them and my Aspie is that one these days! He watches his shows with me in my room, he is chatty Kathy with me. He has been waking up on his own and in a super mood.
I have been telling him for years his hands are super rough (like he works for a living with them). He is lotioning them regularly because he said he doesn't want his future wife to have to deal with it. He has been brushing his teeth and showering regularly without being prompted. His gross hygienic habits seem to be a thing of the past. He has been keeping his room clean and has been generally cooperative with me and his father. This is very out of ordinary. He isn't as overbearing with his older brother. They can have a regular conversation without anyone flipping out. That's huge!
Also, I asked him if he plans on going to college. He said of course. When asked for what, he said homicide detective or forensic anthropologist. I told him with his mental health history, I'm not sure of homicide detective is an option. He told me he had spoken with the career counselor at school (his special needs school) and she said that should not prevent him.
I am so flippin happy for his growth I just can't begin to convey to you all how far he has come!!! There is hope!
But I have to say this... it wasn't until after the worst of puberty was behind us and equally important, as I see it is that he has been off all pharmaceuticals since May 2013. On Amino Acid Therapy and orthomolecular medicine (supplements) only.
I feel like I can breathe...like the feeling you get when you put the hyperactive baby down for the nap and they actually fall asleep.
 |
| Jay |
I hope that Kathleen's update brings you hope for your child.
~Karen
Logging you in...
Adelaide Dupont · 285 weeks ago
And for those of us who knew and appreciated these points in high school to a greater or lesser extent - always good to have a refresher and feel them through the current and future generations who we survived to be able to see.
I especially appreciated points 5, 7 and 10.
And young women not settling or settling down yet is a good thing.
"It's never too late to live our dreams" - but it may be too early for some of them!
And 8 of course.
nicole · 243 weeks ago
Risa · 230 weeks ago
LAH · 221 weeks ago
Maira L. Coral · 216 weeks ago
I was looking for information for my Multi-Genre Disability Research Project from my Early Childhood Special Education class on the web, when suddenly I came across your blog. I started reading this out of curiosity and I want to tell you that as you said yourself, you will not be Amanda Gorman, but you managed to make me shed some tears, perhaps because I felt totally identified with your words, especially in the part that you speak of your son. My son also has Asperger's syndrome, he is 19 years old and he is in the second semester of College. Also like yours, he takes classes from home, likewise my eldest daughter is also taking college classes from her room. At the same time, that I work as a preschool teacher from my kitchen through a computer, my husband sleeps in the room during the day because he works at night. Also in the afternoons I myself take virtual school classes. I am a 51-year-old Latin woman who began to learn the English language as adult, so maybe you find some deficiencies in my writing, however, I was very moved by how proud you express yourself about your son. Referent your mother, I liked the humorous tone that you give when your talk about her, so I did not want to miss this opportunity and stopped my assignments for a moment to let you know that your words do make a difference, since they reach the heart of at least those who have opportunity to read you. I want confess you that is the most long I have written to someone I don't know, because your words inspired me, thank you...
Gavin Bollard · 209 weeks ago
Thanks for this post. I've been very distracted of late and so this was how I found out about our friend Kate. Kate's struggles were very real but they were so constant and so wide-ranging that it was difficult for people around her to address them. I think it's going to take a while longer for me to process all this.
I learned so much from Kate because she was always quick to point out the many injustices in the world. In her glory days, she was very much a crusader and she cared for everyone. Over the years, as her situation took its toll, I came to realise that it was the fact that she couldn't be put in a single specific category, that made the system fail her. She needed help that they weren't set up to provide.
She needed more care and she needed to be less alone. I'm so sorry that this has happened.
For a long while we were corresponding almost every day but a couple of months ago, I realised that she had become so stressed that nearly every interaction I had with her was starting to trigger her. I backed away to give her a bit more space. She only had a little time that she could stand to be online and there were too many things that she wanted to do in that time. I thought that by taking a step back, she could reach out to more people who might be geographically closer and able to assist.
Kate was a beautiful soul and she will be sorely missed by all of us.
diyalabs6192603 11p · 192 weeks ago
Robots for kids
Robotic Online Classes
Robotics School Projects
Programming Courses Malaysia
Coding courses
Coding Academy
coding robots for kids
Coding classes for kids
Coding For Kids
Spoil your cat · 122 weeks ago
Many of these living arrangement aren't good, and many of the people who run those places really don't have the residents' best interest at heart. Those places are like old age homes and foster homes, where you sometimes hear horror stories. They're hard to trust. But then there are good ones, of course.
The best thing for an autistic adult is either to go on living at home or working and renting an apartment and living independently, but that isn't always an option.
Duncan · 112 weeks ago