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| Courtesy of Torchy's Tacos.com |
There's a new one in our neighborhood and of course, Blue, my foodie, has to go check it out. We've been to other locations in Austin before. I have taken Red there for breakfast tacos after a therapy appointment. He was apprehensive at first, because it was something new, but once he tasted that fresh, bacon and egg taco -he loved it.
He's been in a particularly good mood for weeks now since he returned from the Christian Autism Camp, and Jesus is his new best friend. But yesterday, was a little...um...strange. His mood was fine all day until we walked through the door at Torchy's.
All of a sudden he had this angry, scowl on his face, like he was disturbed by something. It almost seemed like he was in a daze or a trance. I took it as -he's just checking out the scene here. He's apprehensive because it's lunch time, and he's not sure if he will like the regular tacos as opposed to the breakfast ones he's already tried.
Finally, I asked him, "Why do you look so angry?"
"This place is satanic," he says. "Do you see that devil on the logo?"
I try to brush it off.
"Honey, that's just about their taco's being torched with fire. I don't think it's meant to be offensive, or devil worshipping."
At least I had never thought about it and I hope not.
"I would NEVER work here. In fact, I don't want to come here again," he says.
Well, he ate his plain chicken and cheese tacos so fast you would never know he didn't like the place. Except for the fact that as soon as he finished wolfing down his food, he started in on this whole negative vibe talking about going back to school, and girls, why he can never find a girlfriend. The nice girls are always taken. How he's going to ask out a girl this year and he doesn't care if she has a boyfriend. "It's up to her to say no or not. And if her boyfriend gets mad...well that's his problem."
Wow! What happened to Jesus's new best friend?
"That doesn't sound like something Jesus would do or that he would want you to do. In fact, it sounds like you're looking for trouble. Besides, any girl who will dump her boyfriend to go out with you, will end up dumping you for the next best thing. She has no loyalty. Why would you want someone like that?"
These little, essential nuances about dating and relationships, he has absolutely no clue about. Why should he? He's never dated!
He went on and on talking in circles until he was making himself angry, and of course, then blaming it on me. I mean he would not shut up! They serve margaritas at this place. Too bad I hadn't ordered one.
The other thing about this day was that there was a Blue Moon. Was it the Blue Moon that was making him talk this crazy talk? Or was it the Torchy's little devil?
The crazy talk went on after we left and while we shopped in Target. I had him get his own basket and shop from his own list for groceries. I tried my best to stay away from him the store because I'd had it with the negativity. Every time we saw each other, he started back up -making himself more and more agitated with each negative statement.
Finally, on the way home, I told him...
"It looks like the devil is sitting right on your shoulder right now telling you to be angry and you're listening to him. I'm sure your friend Jesus is really disappointed."
Truthfully, I still don't know if it was the Blue Moon, Torchy's little devil, anxiety about going back to school, or maybe just plain old Aspergers -heavy on the ass. But I was certainly glad to pour my cocktail, shut my door, go to sleep and leave the negativity behind.
Logging you in...
Adelaide Dupont · 285 weeks ago
And for those of us who knew and appreciated these points in high school to a greater or lesser extent - always good to have a refresher and feel them through the current and future generations who we survived to be able to see.
I especially appreciated points 5, 7 and 10.
And young women not settling or settling down yet is a good thing.
"It's never too late to live our dreams" - but it may be too early for some of them!
And 8 of course.
nicole · 243 weeks ago
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Maira L. Coral · 216 weeks ago
I was looking for information for my Multi-Genre Disability Research Project from my Early Childhood Special Education class on the web, when suddenly I came across your blog. I started reading this out of curiosity and I want to tell you that as you said yourself, you will not be Amanda Gorman, but you managed to make me shed some tears, perhaps because I felt totally identified with your words, especially in the part that you speak of your son. My son also has Asperger's syndrome, he is 19 years old and he is in the second semester of College. Also like yours, he takes classes from home, likewise my eldest daughter is also taking college classes from her room. At the same time, that I work as a preschool teacher from my kitchen through a computer, my husband sleeps in the room during the day because he works at night. Also in the afternoons I myself take virtual school classes. I am a 51-year-old Latin woman who began to learn the English language as adult, so maybe you find some deficiencies in my writing, however, I was very moved by how proud you express yourself about your son. Referent your mother, I liked the humorous tone that you give when your talk about her, so I did not want to miss this opportunity and stopped my assignments for a moment to let you know that your words do make a difference, since they reach the heart of at least those who have opportunity to read you. I want confess you that is the most long I have written to someone I don't know, because your words inspired me, thank you...
Gavin Bollard · 209 weeks ago
Thanks for this post. I've been very distracted of late and so this was how I found out about our friend Kate. Kate's struggles were very real but they were so constant and so wide-ranging that it was difficult for people around her to address them. I think it's going to take a while longer for me to process all this.
I learned so much from Kate because she was always quick to point out the many injustices in the world. In her glory days, she was very much a crusader and she cared for everyone. Over the years, as her situation took its toll, I came to realise that it was the fact that she couldn't be put in a single specific category, that made the system fail her. She needed help that they weren't set up to provide.
She needed more care and she needed to be less alone. I'm so sorry that this has happened.
For a long while we were corresponding almost every day but a couple of months ago, I realised that she had become so stressed that nearly every interaction I had with her was starting to trigger her. I backed away to give her a bit more space. She only had a little time that she could stand to be online and there were too many things that she wanted to do in that time. I thought that by taking a step back, she could reach out to more people who might be geographically closer and able to assist.
Kate was a beautiful soul and she will be sorely missed by all of us.
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Spoil your cat · 122 weeks ago
Many of these living arrangement aren't good, and many of the people who run those places really don't have the residents' best interest at heart. Those places are like old age homes and foster homes, where you sometimes hear horror stories. They're hard to trust. But then there are good ones, of course.
The best thing for an autistic adult is either to go on living at home or working and renting an apartment and living independently, but that isn't always an option.
Duncan · 112 weeks ago