Thursday, August 29, 2013

Morning Scene -Take 1,079

I hit the floor at 7:05 to prodding Blue, out of bed saying sweet good mornings -playing the part of the sweet mommy that I am not.  By 7:15 I'm tapping my fingers on the wall, irritating the hell out of him, but hey -that's what it takes to get him up.

Meanwhile, up pops Red out of his room -early. What the heck is he doing up?  If I needed him up this early, he'd be dead to the world, just like Blue is.

You see, I try to work them in shifts so that they are never in the same room at once in the mornings.  Hopefully, they're not even on the same floor in the house for long.

By 7:20 Blue is now sitting next to me on the couch in the family room asking me to make him something for breakfast after he just yelled at me, "Sorry MOM! I can't move right now!"
"Um...dude.  I will not be making you anything this morning.  Try pouring yourself a bowl of cereal."  He sits another 5 minutes or so.

Out comes Red from the bathroom.  He sits across from us in the family room, stemming by shaking his legs, starring at and irritating his brother.  "My gums hurt Mom." He had wisdom teeth pulled last week.
"Go take your medicine," I say.  Hoping to get him out of the room with Blue.  But no! He sits.

Blue finally goes down to eat.  A good 25 minutes have been wasted.  I know he will be late for the bus. I'm steaming, but not losing it...yet!

Red is still sitting, not moving towards taking his pain medicine or his shower. I get up so as not to provide an audience for him.  He freakin' follows me!  He drops his gigantic 240 pound body onto my bed. He's getting in my space.  He's bothering the dog.

I ask him to remove himself from my room -to go get in the shower.  He is purposefully annoying the crap out of me.  I am pissed!

Blue comes upstairs.  I direct Red downstairs.
It's a dance.
"But what about my shower?"
"Too late!  You should have done it before he came up. Go eat your breakfast."

Later, the bus comes.  Surprise! Blue isn't ready.  He gets really anxious and angry when he's rushed. He finally screams down...tell them to go on! I cant make it!
Red yells up the stairs, "You better pick up the pace boy!"
Do I need his help? NO! He's making Blue more anxious and angry. I ask him to be quiet.  Does he listen? No. He yells, "You better hurry up!"
Finally, I tell the bus to go ahead.  Of course, seconds later -here comes Blue down the stairs.
I am over the moon with piss and vinegar at this point.
Red stands there talking more crap to his brother.  I know this will lead to blows between the two of them.
I actually pinch Red's 17 year-old arm and tell him to get up the stairs.

I drive Blue to school -trying to maintain my composure, but I'm livid!
"Late mornings are going to happen mom.  What's the big deal.  I'm only late because I had to go to the bathroom."
I tell him what the schedule will be for tomorrow morning.  It will not involve me prodding.  He will get up on his own, one half hour earlier with his alarm clock.

When I get back home from taking Blue, I grab the bottle of tylenol and a cup of coffee.  Red says, "What's the medicine for?"
"For the pain in my ass!"
I know...awful right? Couldn't help it. 

I make my second run to the high school dropping him off.  He starts a little later.

We get there and of course, he continues to try to annoy me.
He won't get out of the car.
He's yapping his mouth and asking me, why am I so mad?
I ask him again to get out of the car.
Finally, he says,  "I don't know where to go."
Me? I say...
"Go-to-hell! Just get out of my car!"
Really bad huh?
Yeah...I know.  Oh well! I'm not perfect. 
And I burn rubber out of the school parking lot!

Bailey's and coffee anyone?