I hit the floor at 7:05 to prodding Blue, out of bed saying sweet good mornings -playing the part of the sweet mommy that I am not. By 7:15 I'm tapping my fingers on the wall, irritating the hell out of him, but hey -that's what it takes to get him up.
Meanwhile, up pops Red out of his room -early. What the heck is he doing up? If I needed him up this early, he'd be dead to the world, just like Blue is.
You see, I try to work them in shifts so that they are never in the same room at once in the mornings. Hopefully, they're not even on the same floor in the house for long.
By 7:20 Blue is now sitting next to me on the couch in the family room asking me to make him something for breakfast after he just yelled at me, "Sorry MOM! I can't move right now!"
"Um...dude. I will not be making you anything this morning. Try pouring yourself a bowl of cereal." He sits another 5 minutes or so.
Out comes Red from the bathroom. He sits across from us in the family room, stemming by shaking his legs, starring at and irritating his brother. "My gums hurt Mom." He had wisdom teeth pulled last week.
"Go take your medicine," I say. Hoping to get him out of the room with Blue. But no! He sits.
Blue finally goes down to eat. A good 25 minutes have been wasted. I know he will be late for the bus. I'm steaming, but not losing it...yet!
Red is still sitting, not moving towards taking his pain medicine or his shower. I get up so as not to provide an audience for him. He freakin' follows me! He drops his gigantic 240 pound body onto my bed. He's getting in my space. He's bothering the dog.
I ask him to remove himself from my room -to go get in the shower. He is purposefully annoying the crap out of me. I am pissed!
Blue comes upstairs. I direct Red downstairs.
It's a dance.
"But what about my shower?"
"Too late! You should have done it before he came up. Go eat your breakfast."
Later, the bus comes. Surprise! Blue isn't ready. He gets really anxious and angry when he's rushed. He finally screams down...tell them to go on! I cant make it!
I.Want.To.Scream!
Red yells up the stairs, "You better pick up the pace boy!"
Do I need his help? NO! He's making Blue more anxious and angry. I ask him to be quiet. Does he listen? No. He yells, "You better hurry up!"
Finally, I tell the bus to go ahead. Of course, seconds later -here comes Blue down the stairs.
I am over the moon with piss and vinegar at this point.
Red stands there talking more crap to his brother. I know this will lead to blows between the two of them.
I actually pinch Red's 17 year-old arm and tell him to get up the stairs.
I drive Blue to school -trying to maintain my composure, but I'm livid!
"Late mornings are going to happen mom. What's the big deal. I'm only late because I had to go to the bathroom."
Hardly!
I tell him what the schedule will be for tomorrow morning. It will not involve me prodding. He will get up on his own, one half hour earlier with his alarm clock.
When I get back home from taking Blue, I grab the bottle of tylenol and a cup of coffee. Red says, "What's the medicine for?"
"For the pain in my ass!"
I know...awful right? Couldn't help it.
I make my second run to the high school dropping him off. He starts a little later.
We get there and of course, he continues to try to annoy me.
He won't get out of the car.
He's yapping his mouth and asking me, why am I so mad?
I ask him again to get out of the car.
Finally, he says, "I don't know where to go."
Me? I say...
"Go-to-hell! Just get out of my car!"
Really bad huh?
Yeah...I know. Oh well! I'm not perfect.
And I burn rubber out of the school parking lot!
Bailey's and coffee anyone?
Meanwhile, up pops Red out of his room -early. What the heck is he doing up? If I needed him up this early, he'd be dead to the world, just like Blue is.
You see, I try to work them in shifts so that they are never in the same room at once in the mornings. Hopefully, they're not even on the same floor in the house for long.
By 7:20 Blue is now sitting next to me on the couch in the family room asking me to make him something for breakfast after he just yelled at me, "Sorry MOM! I can't move right now!"
"Um...dude. I will not be making you anything this morning. Try pouring yourself a bowl of cereal." He sits another 5 minutes or so.
Out comes Red from the bathroom. He sits across from us in the family room, stemming by shaking his legs, starring at and irritating his brother. "My gums hurt Mom." He had wisdom teeth pulled last week.
"Go take your medicine," I say. Hoping to get him out of the room with Blue. But no! He sits.
Blue finally goes down to eat. A good 25 minutes have been wasted. I know he will be late for the bus. I'm steaming, but not losing it...yet!
Red is still sitting, not moving towards taking his pain medicine or his shower. I get up so as not to provide an audience for him. He freakin' follows me! He drops his gigantic 240 pound body onto my bed. He's getting in my space. He's bothering the dog.
I ask him to remove himself from my room -to go get in the shower. He is purposefully annoying the crap out of me. I am pissed!
Blue comes upstairs. I direct Red downstairs.
It's a dance.
"But what about my shower?"
"Too late! You should have done it before he came up. Go eat your breakfast."
Later, the bus comes. Surprise! Blue isn't ready. He gets really anxious and angry when he's rushed. He finally screams down...tell them to go on! I cant make it!
I.Want.To.Scream!
Red yells up the stairs, "You better pick up the pace boy!"
Do I need his help? NO! He's making Blue more anxious and angry. I ask him to be quiet. Does he listen? No. He yells, "You better hurry up!"
Finally, I tell the bus to go ahead. Of course, seconds later -here comes Blue down the stairs.
I am over the moon with piss and vinegar at this point.
Red stands there talking more crap to his brother. I know this will lead to blows between the two of them.
I actually pinch Red's 17 year-old arm and tell him to get up the stairs.
I drive Blue to school -trying to maintain my composure, but I'm livid!
"Late mornings are going to happen mom. What's the big deal. I'm only late because I had to go to the bathroom."
Hardly!
I tell him what the schedule will be for tomorrow morning. It will not involve me prodding. He will get up on his own, one half hour earlier with his alarm clock.
When I get back home from taking Blue, I grab the bottle of tylenol and a cup of coffee. Red says, "What's the medicine for?"
"For the pain in my ass!"
I know...awful right? Couldn't help it.
I make my second run to the high school dropping him off. He starts a little later.
We get there and of course, he continues to try to annoy me.
He won't get out of the car.
He's yapping his mouth and asking me, why am I so mad?
I ask him again to get out of the car.
Finally, he says, "I don't know where to go."
Me? I say...
"Go-to-hell! Just get out of my car!"
Really bad huh?
Yeah...I know. Oh well! I'm not perfect.
And I burn rubber out of the school parking lot!
Bailey's and coffee anyone?
Logging you in...
Adelaide Dupont · 285 weeks ago
And for those of us who knew and appreciated these points in high school to a greater or lesser extent - always good to have a refresher and feel them through the current and future generations who we survived to be able to see.
I especially appreciated points 5, 7 and 10.
And young women not settling or settling down yet is a good thing.
"It's never too late to live our dreams" - but it may be too early for some of them!
And 8 of course.
nicole · 243 weeks ago
Risa · 230 weeks ago
LAH · 221 weeks ago
Maira L. Coral · 216 weeks ago
I was looking for information for my Multi-Genre Disability Research Project from my Early Childhood Special Education class on the web, when suddenly I came across your blog. I started reading this out of curiosity and I want to tell you that as you said yourself, you will not be Amanda Gorman, but you managed to make me shed some tears, perhaps because I felt totally identified with your words, especially in the part that you speak of your son. My son also has Asperger's syndrome, he is 19 years old and he is in the second semester of College. Also like yours, he takes classes from home, likewise my eldest daughter is also taking college classes from her room. At the same time, that I work as a preschool teacher from my kitchen through a computer, my husband sleeps in the room during the day because he works at night. Also in the afternoons I myself take virtual school classes. I am a 51-year-old Latin woman who began to learn the English language as adult, so maybe you find some deficiencies in my writing, however, I was very moved by how proud you express yourself about your son. Referent your mother, I liked the humorous tone that you give when your talk about her, so I did not want to miss this opportunity and stopped my assignments for a moment to let you know that your words do make a difference, since they reach the heart of at least those who have opportunity to read you. I want confess you that is the most long I have written to someone I don't know, because your words inspired me, thank you...
Gavin Bollard · 209 weeks ago
Thanks for this post. I've been very distracted of late and so this was how I found out about our friend Kate. Kate's struggles were very real but they were so constant and so wide-ranging that it was difficult for people around her to address them. I think it's going to take a while longer for me to process all this.
I learned so much from Kate because she was always quick to point out the many injustices in the world. In her glory days, she was very much a crusader and she cared for everyone. Over the years, as her situation took its toll, I came to realise that it was the fact that she couldn't be put in a single specific category, that made the system fail her. She needed help that they weren't set up to provide.
She needed more care and she needed to be less alone. I'm so sorry that this has happened.
For a long while we were corresponding almost every day but a couple of months ago, I realised that she had become so stressed that nearly every interaction I had with her was starting to trigger her. I backed away to give her a bit more space. She only had a little time that she could stand to be online and there were too many things that she wanted to do in that time. I thought that by taking a step back, she could reach out to more people who might be geographically closer and able to assist.
Kate was a beautiful soul and she will be sorely missed by all of us.
diyalabs6192603 11p · 192 weeks ago
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Spoil your cat · 122 weeks ago
Many of these living arrangement aren't good, and many of the people who run those places really don't have the residents' best interest at heart. Those places are like old age homes and foster homes, where you sometimes hear horror stories. They're hard to trust. But then there are good ones, of course.
The best thing for an autistic adult is either to go on living at home or working and renting an apartment and living independently, but that isn't always an option.
Duncan · 112 weeks ago