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Saturday, October 13, 2012

Mom Magic


Blue is upset...feeling like the entire world is resting on his shoulders.  Why? In a word...School.  He is smart as a whip -but it's that deficit in executive planning that gets him every time. 

There are so many things to do...so many deadlines to think about.  There's that science project -building an atom model to the tune of $45.00 in supplies plus $30.00 in tutoring fees.  That's an expensive got-dammed model!  I kind of feel like I've been robbed.  He could have drawn an example of an atom for free!  He has excellent artistic skills.  Seriously...I have to admit it was totally worth paying our teenaged neighbor to help him.  He would have fought with me tooth and nail all the way through if I tried to assist him.  But still...$75.00 later! 

Then there is that history test that his Social Studies teacher stresses ..."You all better study!  It's not going to be easy!" And it was not.  Blue did not do well...and he was not happy!   Pre-Ap Algebra 1? ...too much homework for his taste.  He is longing for a little more down time when he comes home.  And he needs it!  Anything extra...even going to church (which he is starting to really enjoy) can mean a meltdown. 

Language Arts of which he decided to take Pre-Ap?  He's starting to feel like he made a big mistake!
"I can not read that fast!  She expects us to read silently...to ourselves! I need to hear it.  Not just read it.  I do much better when we read along together in class."
He needs to involve at least two senses to everyone else's one.  He is a great writer...like his mama.  It's the fiction reading that slows him down. 

The stress shows up here at home in the form of a disagreeable, grumpy, extra-arugmentative, easily explosive child.  Yeah...fun for us!  

When I tell Aspergers Dad about his stress and feelings of being overwhelmed, his response. "Tell him it's only going to get harder.  He better get used to it."  There is a reason why God gave these kids two parents.  Of course Dad is right...in a way, but I'm not going to tell him that.  The part that he leaves out, is that we have to teach him ways to advocate for himself to take down his stress level.  For instance ...in college, you can take less classes to slow things down a bit, or take classes after noon so you don't have to get up so early in the morning.  You can build flexibility into your schedule. 

I am all for trying to be the best...but not to the point of stressing yourself out and being totally anxious about it. 

So Blue talks to his tracking teacher and his Language arts teacher about his trouble keeping up.  He doesn't really feel like they are hearing him.  He comes home and tells me, "They weren't any help!" 

I have to work my Mom Magic in the background.  I send an e-mail to the Language Arts teacher, informing her of the testing I had done last year by our Neurologist, which shows that Blue's reading fluency is below grade level, although his vocabulary and word recognition are well ABOVE grade level.  So basically, when it comes to reading fiction, he needs a little extra support in the form of audio as well as visual.  She graciously agrees to accommodate him.  We all know he has a brilliant mind and is capable of plenty, we just have to be flexible and make things work for him.

I put a spark under the tracking teachers ass with a phone and an e-mail stressing that he needs a road-map to help him with executive planning.  I also ask her to work with Blue and the Social Studies teacher to see how he can make up the grade for the test he did not do well.  We need to do all of this today because I am going out tonight and I can't afford for him to come home and have a meltdown.  I do not want to miss the concert I've been planning to go to for weeks.  She jumps right on it and handles the situation. 

I then put in a phone call to Cole's bestie's mom to ask her if she can help me out by allowing him to come over and hang with the boys for a few hours while we go out.  That will help take the sting out of his day of mishaps.  It will allow for me to go out without getting any phone calls about a meltdown or fight at home between the two boys.  

Yep...a sistah has to work that magic that so that Blue could get the support he needs while his mom and dad got the chance to go out to get our groove back.  We partied like we were young, and in love with no responsibilities for the night.  Not only did we enjoy seeing Erykah Badu at Austin City Limits...we also danced our asses off to the DJ's music out on the patio afterwards.  I was like...Wow! I remember this!  There is life on a Thursday night when you don't have kids to worry about.  Sweet memories of  life B.C. (before children). 

I partied like a rock star for the night.  Until it all came to a screeching halt when I had to get up the next morning to get Blue to school on time and then take Red in to the Podiatrist for a little toe surgery.  What was I thinking when I made that appointment?  Obviously I wasn't thinking about drinking so much vodka the night before.  He's doing fine by the way... 

As for me...it only took me two days to recover.