Friday is supposed to be my off day because I'm on heavy Mommy duty on Saturday and Sunday. However, my off day was cancelled due to an emergency call from the school.
"Mrs. Weaver -Blue is telling us that he feels like he has no choice but to end his life. He does not have a specific plan, but we've been talking to him for the past 30 minutes and he's not backing down."
There is more to this conversation of course. I speak to Blue and try to get him to see things clearly. I don't change his mind. He just wants the pain of middle school to be over with and he doesn't see any other way to make everything stop. All the kids hate him, they are mean, they are teasing, taunting, being silly, not following directions, getting the whole class in trouble. Then there is life at home. He can not get along with his family. He is always stressing me (mom) out. The list goes on.
We end up in the Psychiatrist office. She has a great therapy session with him. Of course she wants to add another medication to balance him out. We debate this. I'm still not happy with the decision, but I really feel like my back is against the wall. I have to get him to happy, so that he isn't feeling so overwhelmed by life that he sees no other choice but to end it.
When we leave her office...his mood is much better. Of course, we are far away from his sources of stress. We spend a leisurely day, having lunch, shopping and visiting his favorite place on earth...the Apple store. His mood is actually better than I've seen it in weeks. It's really strange how he went from 100 back to zero in such a short time span.
We were invited to go out that night to listen to Motown-like band with some friends that we made through our local Aspergers Meetup group. Of course, when I got the phone call that morning...I'm thinking, there's no way we're going out tonight to listen to music. I'm going to be on suicide watch. But as I always say, "Life is like a box of chocolates" when it comes to raising these Aspergers teens. You never know what you're going to get.
We made it out that night to the Oasis. Blue never says no to the word "GO." The Oasis is a very popular Austin spot that sits above Lake Travis. It's a family oriented atmosphere. There are silver-haired seniors all the way down to toddlers on the dance floor getting their groove on. Somewhere in-between was my crazy family and our friends.
Red NEVER...I repeat NEVER dances! He was an anxious mess before we walked through the doors...afraid of how loud the music may be, or if he would like it because it's not Alternative Rock music. The fact that his friend was there, was the only thing that enticed him to go in the first place. He had a blast!
Unfortunately, I didn't capture a picture of Blue busting his Michael Jackson moves. But he had a really good time too. He ended the night by saying, "Now that was fun! This is the kind of fun I've been wanting for our family."
From the Psychiatrist office to 'Up in da Club' dancing with the whole family. This is my life....and these are my confessions...
