"Important Announcement: The boys are getting along today.
I repeat...the boys are getting along today.
O.K. Carry On."
We now take you back to your regular programming.
--My Confessions Facebook status yesterday.
Good days are few and far between so I have to take note when they happen.
Blue notices it too, "This is a pretty good day," he says while eating his cone of vanilla frozen yogurt.
"No way!
Is that possible?
You're having a good day with you OWN family!?" I tease.
I can't tell you how many times I've heard lately, "I just can't be comfortable with this family. Everyone is always fighting. I'm only happy when I'm with my friends." This is pretty typical teenage behavior. Thank God for something normal in our life.
Of course, he does not see that HE is one of the main ingredients in most of these arguments. He has zero patience when it comes to his older brother's idiosyncrasies and behaviors. He feels the need to constantly correct and attempt to parent him. He usually can not stand to be corrected or redirected in any way from me. He is quite often the one who is blowing a gasket and not doing anything to help create peace in our family. But hey...this is not what this post is about.
Today is a real go with the flow kind of day for all of us. I go to the doctors office only for her to tell me what I already know, "You have allergies combined with a minor upper respiratory infection. Keep drinking fluids, taking the meds you're taking and of course, get plenty of rest." HA HA!
I ask her if she can write me a prescription for a hotel room. If she could...I know she would. That's why I love her.
My family insisted that I make an appointment to see my doctor, so I did. Before I leave her office I say, "At least we had this time together. This might be the most pleasurable part of my day." She laughs because she knows my story. She realizes that my children are at home, waiting me to instantly get well, so I can drive them all over town. She recommends that I go get a book and a cup of coffee instead of going home.
I take my time getting there, but when I finally do, I put some hot dogs on the grill for the boys lunch instead of going out to buy it, as Red wants me to do.
"I'll be glad to take you if you are willing to pay for it," I say.
"I can't spend MY money on food!"
"Oh...I guess we better eat at home then."
At 4 p.m. Red has an appointment with someone he's selling something to through CraigsList. I take both boys and the dog with me to Starbucks to meet this stranger. I am actually very proud that Red created the ad with my approval, not listing any personal information. He read all of the rules for selling, which at first he said were too hard to understand, but he got through it. And within a couple of days, he had a sale set up. Everything goes very smoothly. The middle-aged very decent looking man hands Red the 80 bucks. Red hands him the box full of stuff and the guy goes on his merry way, with me taking note of his license plate, of course.
I have my mother to thank for my paranoia. She says as we're walking out the door, "I hope he doesn't stick a gun in your face or follow you home and rob you! That's what they do in L.A. you know." We have Harry our vicious Maltese with us just in case he turned out to be a serial killer. Harry would lick him to death. Funny, she didn't have anything negative to say when I bought her practically brand new day bed from CraigsList. Or that lovely cherrywood armoire for her room.
After the transaction goes smoothly, the boys both walk over to OfficeMax so Blue can buy a new mouse pad. That's been on his list of things to buy for weeks now. They go in alone, while I sit in the car playing Words With Friends. Red actually gives his brother a few dollars to help him pay for his goods. This is followed by our trip to Baskin Robbins, where he buys his brother's ice-cream. This is HUGE! Red is usually terribly selfish when it comes to parting ways with his money. His money is usually spent on things for himself...and no one else. Well, he doesn't mind paying for things for a friend, but family? That's another story. But not today!
The sun is shining at about 78 degrees on this spring day. It couldn't be more lovely, that is unless we were in California, where there would be slightly less humidity. But of course, the likelihood that we would have been robbed during our Craigslist transaction, would have been higher. I guess life is full of tradeoffs.
We sit outside at the a table eating our ice cream. I enjoy the breeze while the boys take Harry for a little walk around the grassy area of the outdoor shopping center. I can't help but think, 'Wow...my boys, eating ice-cream, going for a walk... together. This is a precious moment...one to be savored.'
What a difference a day makes.
Editorial Note: Make sure you read yesterday's post: Adventures In Toilet Plunging. You'll see exacly what I mean by "What a difference a day makes." It is a stark contrast from today.
Adelaide Dupont · 285 weeks ago
And for those of us who knew and appreciated these points in high school to a greater or lesser extent - always good to have a refresher and feel them through the current and future generations who we survived to be able to see.
I especially appreciated points 5, 7 and 10.
And young women not settling or settling down yet is a good thing.
"It's never too late to live our dreams" - but it may be too early for some of them!
And 8 of course.
nicole · 243 weeks ago
Risa · 230 weeks ago
LAH · 221 weeks ago
Maira L. Coral · 216 weeks ago
I was looking for information for my Multi-Genre Disability Research Project from my Early Childhood Special Education class on the web, when suddenly I came across your blog. I started reading this out of curiosity and I want to tell you that as you said yourself, you will not be Amanda Gorman, but you managed to make me shed some tears, perhaps because I felt totally identified with your words, especially in the part that you speak of your son. My son also has Asperger's syndrome, he is 19 years old and he is in the second semester of College. Also like yours, he takes classes from home, likewise my eldest daughter is also taking college classes from her room. At the same time, that I work as a preschool teacher from my kitchen through a computer, my husband sleeps in the room during the day because he works at night. Also in the afternoons I myself take virtual school classes. I am a 51-year-old Latin woman who began to learn the English language as adult, so maybe you find some deficiencies in my writing, however, I was very moved by how proud you express yourself about your son. Referent your mother, I liked the humorous tone that you give when your talk about her, so I did not want to miss this opportunity and stopped my assignments for a moment to let you know that your words do make a difference, since they reach the heart of at least those who have opportunity to read you. I want confess you that is the most long I have written to someone I don't know, because your words inspired me, thank you...
Gavin Bollard · 209 weeks ago
Thanks for this post. I've been very distracted of late and so this was how I found out about our friend Kate. Kate's struggles were very real but they were so constant and so wide-ranging that it was difficult for people around her to address them. I think it's going to take a while longer for me to process all this.
I learned so much from Kate because she was always quick to point out the many injustices in the world. In her glory days, she was very much a crusader and she cared for everyone. Over the years, as her situation took its toll, I came to realise that it was the fact that she couldn't be put in a single specific category, that made the system fail her. She needed help that they weren't set up to provide.
She needed more care and she needed to be less alone. I'm so sorry that this has happened.
For a long while we were corresponding almost every day but a couple of months ago, I realised that she had become so stressed that nearly every interaction I had with her was starting to trigger her. I backed away to give her a bit more space. She only had a little time that she could stand to be online and there were too many things that she wanted to do in that time. I thought that by taking a step back, she could reach out to more people who might be geographically closer and able to assist.
Kate was a beautiful soul and she will be sorely missed by all of us.
diyalabs6192603 11p · 192 weeks ago
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Spoil your cat · 121 weeks ago
Many of these living arrangement aren't good, and many of the people who run those places really don't have the residents' best interest at heart. Those places are like old age homes and foster homes, where you sometimes hear horror stories. They're hard to trust. But then there are good ones, of course.
The best thing for an autistic adult is either to go on living at home or working and renting an apartment and living independently, but that isn't always an option.
Duncan · 112 weeks ago