Today, Red has an appointment scheduled with his Psychiatrist, which is right on time. I decide to also sneak Blue in to see her as well. We're driving down there on this soupy, gray, foggy morning during rush hour traffic. Huh!
"Where are all of these people going?" asks Blue.
"To work," I reply.
"Well...why did you schedule an appointment at this time?" asks Red, as if the two of them actually have to navigate this traffic. As if, they are both in a hurry to get where? Back to school?? The place that they complain about 24/7?
"I scheduled the appointment at this time, because this is the time she had available. She's a busy woman."
Ups
Red is actually on a real high note. He's been smiling, being positive...showing affection and care for his brother's bad moods. It's been a little eerie...good...but still, eerie. It probably has something to do with the fact that a female friend gave him her number the other day. "I just want to be her friend. I'm going to take things slow," he says. I only pray that he is capable of doing that. History says otherwise. I hate to be negative...but I am not looking forward to going down this road.
So when we get to the doctors office...he presents as this happy-go-lucky kid that we don't recognize. He has completely forgotten about fighting with his father a week ago and yelling at us because we all, "make him so mad!" this past weekend. "Everything is going great!" he tells the doctor.
Downs
Blue is honest in telling her about his spontaneous combustion and frustrations with home and school i.e., his anxiety, inability to ask for and/or accept help from adults, his peers who seriously annoy him. She adds Intuniv, 1mg. to his repertoire (fingers crossed along with eyes and toes). Not to mention..cha ching! goes the wallet!
Later, Red comes home from school with face hanging down. He had a relatively good day I am told by the school Psychologist. However, at the end of the day, he somehow started to get overwhelmed with emotion and actually got teary when talking with one of his teachers. His mind is over-processing this new adventure into making friends with girls. Then a friend of his told him that he was thinking of "hurting himself" because a girl is being mean to him. All of this was just too much for Red to process.
Turn-Arounds
I put on a funny t.v. show and leave him sitting in front of it, while I run out to take Blue to Art Lessons. By the time I get back home, Red is laughing at the t.v. and chatting on Facebook.
Blue comes home in a relatively good mood, but then it goes downhill when he asks me to read his memoir and I make the mistake of giving him a few grammatical corrections. "I didn't ask you to correct it! I asked you to read it! You're too picky!"
Well...exCUUSE ME!! I walk away without another word.
He ends up apologizing before bed.
"I'm sorry that we just can't get along mom. I really don't want to argue with you. It's like...I just can't help it."
Ugh! Blow to the gut! Painfully sad, yet touching me deeply.
I remember working for a mental health agency in my 20's. This time of year was always tough. The clients would all be falling apart. I thought it was because of baggage from their past, or something they felt was missing in their lives during the holidays. Who knew someday...this would be my reality? And there is really no rhyme or reason to it all. I am praying that next two weeks will get better. That they will relax and enjoy our downtime. Yet, I am cautiously afraid that they won't.
My personal Facebook Status yesterday was this:
"I can't believe this is my life." I'm not saying it's bad. I'm not saying it's good. I'm just sayin...
Despite it all...I try to keep my sense of humor. Actually, if I didn't...I'd be in the nuthouse for sure! So I will end this post on a funny note:
The other day, Red decides to look for something at the last minute, making himself miss the bus and making everyone late that day. He shuts down...lays on the couch and refuses to move.
"I'm not going to school today! I'm just too tired!"
Now recently he was baptized and told us that he is going to be trying his best to follow the example of Christ. So I pull this question on him, "Do you think Jesus Christ would be laying on the couch, yelling at his parents, refusing to go to school?"
He replies swiftly in his matter-of-fact, flat, monotone voice, "Jesus didn't have to go to school. He already knew everything."
HA! "And how do you know that?" I ask.
"Because he's God's son. He knew everything when God sent him down here."
"Well...you don't know everything so you better get your but up and get ready to go to school!"
Life is just a bed of Roses...without the thorns removed.
