Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Blessed Insightfulness

Nothing is smooth sailing when it comes to an Aspergers teen.  We had about a weeks worth of honeymoon period with Red and his new school situation.  He still likes it...but for some reason he is surprised that he still has a lot of work to do, both socially and academically.  So the past couple of days, he comes through the door with a look of fatigue and unhappiness on his face.

"People are being rude to me!  I have the same problems everywhere!  People don't want to talk to me."

Unfortunately, with all of the medication changes, he isn't taking anything for focus right now.  Well, actually, he's taking Intuniv, a non-stimulant, but I really don't see how it is helping him.  The issue is he has a tendency to talk...non-stop, dominating the conversation.  Once he gets on a roll, he hardly takes a break for a deep breath, much less stopping long enough for others to actively participate in the conversation.  One of his teachers tells me, that one day he was so busy talking, he didn't even notice that people had actually walked away.  Of course, there is not a lot of eye-contact during his conversations.  Hence, the intense need for social skills training which, is not an overnight process.

Then he drops this bit of wisdom down on me:
"I can't help that I talk so much.  It's a part of my Aspergers.  I can't help it.  If I could help it...I would stop doing it. People need to understand that it's a part of who I am.  They need to have patience. All I want is to have some friends who accept me for who I am.  I just want to be happy!"

"You're right mom,  the reason I like to buy things all the time is because I'm just looking for a little bit of happiness, even though I know, things can't make you happy."

"Are you sure Dr. A knows what she's doing?  We've been trying all these different medicines and I still talk so much.  Maybe we need to change millograms or something.  I need some help with this so that people will like me."

Wow!  I tell him how proud I am that he can express these feelings to me so clearly.
"This shows me that you are doing better.  Before, you were not able to express all of  that to you are doing better.  And I'm proud of you.  You may not be where you want to me, but you are slowly making progress.  You are getting up in the mornings, getting ready on time.  You are taking your showers every night.  All of these things are progress."

I am so impressed by his insightfulness.  He really does get it!  He does see himself and what he is doing, but he just can't resist some of the impulses.

I have been putting off going back to a low dosage of Focalin with him, afraid of what the side effects may be.  The doctor believes that with the other meds he has on board, and the lower dosage, he won't have these mad crashes in the afternoon.  He is so desperate to control the over-talking,  and lack of focus, that I am willing to go ahead and fill the prescription in hopes that it will help.

I am definitely fatigued by the incessant talking and I have a LOT OF PATIENCE.   There have been times where I've had to tell him,  "You've said that ninety-million times already!  I got it!"
"I didn't say it 90 million times.  That would take all day."
"Well, it feels like 90 million times!"
Imagine how it feels for those people who don't love him as much as I do, nor do they have the social skills or patience to put up with it.

I'm really happy about what he said about "buying things to find happiness."  That is until the end of our conversation when he says, "So can I go to Walgreens now to buy those Amazon gift cards so I can order the Yoke for my Flight Simulator game?"
"I thought we just agreed that buying things won't make you happy?"
"I know that...but at least it will give me something to do."

Guess I can't expect everything to happen overnight...

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