"SHUT UP!!!" Can you here that from wherever you are? It's that loud when he screams it!
I tell him, "Saying Shut Up shows a lack of intelligence. It's like...I can't think of anything else to say so I'm going to just tell you to shut up! Come on! Get creative!" And so they do just that.
"You're not smarter than me Blue. In fact, you're just dumb."
"And YOU'RE immature!"
"No....You're immature."
"You're so immature...you're like a pre-schooler."
"You're so immature it's like your a baby...coming right out of your mother's stomach!"
"Well...you're ugly!"
"And you need a haircut! Come here so I can give you a haircut!"
"Eat my shorts!"...ooh good one!
"You're not Bart Simpson. You're not even funny."
"You need to shave your butt hair!" At this point I'm dying laughing.
I'm sorry...but I just love the creativity coming from these insults. This from two boys who hardly laugh at anything. You see crude humor is a part of our family heritage...it starts with my dad who is truly offensive. I mean that man can get more MF's into one conversation than anyone that I know. I am actually offended when he's uses the language when talking to me. I'm like...hello! You're talking to a lady here...your daughter nonetheless. Yet, I find myself saying some pretty incredulous things at times. There's something about the shock value. It doesn't always make other people laugh. My husband HATES when I do this. He says, "O.K. that's enough Hollywood!" (That's my dad's nickname...don't ask why.) I really crack myself up.
I hear that my brother does the same thing to his wife. "He makes these stupid jokes and he's the only one who thinks they're funny," says his wife.
I joke around with my kids all the time. They hate it! They can be so heavy and so serious. Sometimes I just want to lighten the mood. The other day we are coming out of the Y after exercising. It's dark...there aren't many people around. I have my IPOD still in my ears and I'm dancing my way to the car. Red starts yelling, "Mom! STOP! Why are you being so silly? These people are going to think you're crazy!"
"First of all, I don't see many people out here. Second of all...I don't care what they think," and I go right back to my dancing.
"You don't even know how to dance. You're not dancing right!" says the boy who doesn't dance at ALL...unless he's rocking out in his room to Linkin Park.
So to stop the shenanigans last night...I finally say, "I'm going to record you two and put you on Facebook and my blog."
"NOOO!" they shout in unison. And that was the end of that!
At least they never got around to, "You're mother's so fat..." Now THAT would not be funny!
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