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Thursday, August 25, 2011

Karen Plus 2 (Aspies)

No I don't have 8...but doesn't 2 Aspie teens = 8 atypical kids?  I really think I have the makings for a reality show.  People would find it entertaining that it takes 2 adults, sometimes 3,  to get two teenage boys out the door and to school on time.   The refereeing, the coaching, the nursing, dispensing therapy, cooking,  singing,  fighting...it's an action packed comedy show all before 9 a.m.

Luckily, someone with a spine lives in this house.  Dad did take the computer out of Red's room after yesterday's missing the bus fiasco.  Believe it or not, there is no major meltdown when he comes home from school.  God is with us...instead he comes home and passes out on the couch for a couple of hours.  He isn't happy,  there are plenty of digs and insults to his brother before he passes out, but he has nothing better to do so he catches up on some zzz's.  He wakes up, bitches some more about how unfair we are being, eats dinner and passes out again.  Obviously, the boy needs some rest, and the natural consequence allows him to get it.

When he awakens and starts the fuss, "This is so NOT FAIR!  I have NOTHING TO DO!  Can I have my computer back? Can I have my computer back? Can I have my computer back? "  I guess he thinks if he keeps asking the answer will suddenly change?!

"You get up and get out on time...so that the bus is not waiting for you, you get your computer back tomorrow.  You want to move your turn off time back to 9 o'clock, do it for 5 days in a row.  You want your new cellphone do it for 5 more days."  Sound fair???  This is outrageous as far as he is concerned.

So here is the reality scene this morning:

Red wakes up with his alarm clock...lays there for a few minutes.  I enter and tell him to get in the shower.  He lolly-gags a bit.  Finally gets in oh say...15 minutes later.  He starts singing at first, then moves on to repeating the dialog from a movie or t.v. show...LOUDLY!
Blue burst through the door out of his room..."He's singing!"
"Go back to your room.  Close your door...turn up your music and get dressed.  You won't here him." Blue looks at mom like she has a third eye.
Red gets louder...not singing but talking...dialog.
Blue busts out of his door and into the bathroom door! Screaming back and forth ensues.  I hate you's are tossed around like a frisbee.  Mom gets physically in-between them...sends them back into their corners.  (Referee).
Dad hears screaming.  He gets up out of bed groggily and goes into Blues room to help calm him (Therapist).  Mom pushes Red along to put clothes on.  He's still naked with a towel rapped around him.
Mom moves downstairs to start coffee and breakfast (Cook).  Dad sends down Blue.  Mom sends Dad into Red's room to prompt him to keep it moving and stop staring into space.  A few minutes pass...no Red.
Mom yells upstairs, "I really want you to get your computer back today.  Are you moving?"
"I'm coming mom!"
Mom gets Blue moving so that he can get up from the table before Red comes to the table.  She is trying to prevent The Color Purple (Blue + Red =Purple).  Red arrives...Mom sends Blue around the opposite way through Nana's room to head upstairs and finish getting ready.
Red eats breakfast...cereal, eggs, and toast.  Error...mom only makes one piece a toast.
"Are you kidding me?!  One piece???"
"Um...lets rephrase that son."
"Can you please make me another piece?"
"Sure."
Mom gives meds with water (Nurse).
"Can I have Silk milk?" says Red.
Are you freaking kidding me??? Just take the meds already! Thinks Mom, but she does not say.
Red finally takes meds after asking over and over again about Silk milk. "Why can't I take my meds with silk milk?"  X's five.  He asks this question 5 times over and over again in a row.  The answer does not change.
He is finally putting on shoes...bus shows up 7 minutes EARLY!
Mom reassures, "You're fine...just get your other shoe on."
He leaves!!! YAY! He earns his computer back for tonight.
Blue comes down from hiding, puts on his shoes, gathers his things.  He is picked up by carpool.

It's 8:15 a.m.  Mom is freaking exhausted!

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