Luckily, someone with a spine lives in this house. Dad did take the computer out of Red's room after yesterday's missing the bus fiasco. Believe it or not, there is no major meltdown when he comes home from school. God is with us...instead he comes home and passes out on the couch for a couple of hours. He isn't happy, there are plenty of digs and insults to his brother before he passes out, but he has nothing better to do so he catches up on some zzz's. He wakes up, bitches some more about how unfair we are being, eats dinner and passes out again. Obviously, the boy needs some rest, and the natural consequence allows him to get it.
When he awakens and starts the fuss, "This is so NOT FAIR! I have NOTHING TO DO! Can I have my computer back? Can I have my computer back? Can I have my computer back? " I guess he thinks if he keeps asking the answer will suddenly change?!
"You get up and get out on time...so that the bus is not waiting for you, you get your computer back tomorrow. You want to move your turn off time back to 9 o'clock, do it for 5 days in a row. You want your new cellphone do it for 5 more days." Sound fair??? This is outrageous as far as he is concerned.
So here is the reality scene this morning:
Red wakes up with his alarm clock...lays there for a few minutes. I enter and tell him to get in the shower. He lolly-gags a bit. Finally gets in oh say...15 minutes later. He starts singing at first, then moves on to repeating the dialog from a movie or t.v. show...LOUDLY!
Blue burst through the door out of his room..."He's singing!"
"Go back to your room. Close your door...turn up your music and get dressed. You won't here him." Blue looks at mom like she has a third eye.
Red gets louder...not singing but talking...dialog.
Blue busts out of his door and into the bathroom door! Screaming back and forth ensues. I hate you's are tossed around like a frisbee. Mom gets physically in-between them...sends them back into their corners. (Referee).
Dad hears screaming. He gets up out of bed groggily and goes into Blues room to help calm him (Therapist). Mom pushes Red along to put clothes on. He's still naked with a towel rapped around him.
Mom moves downstairs to start coffee and breakfast (Cook). Dad sends down Blue. Mom sends Dad into Red's room to prompt him to keep it moving and stop staring into space. A few minutes pass...no Red.
Mom yells upstairs, "I really want you to get your computer back today. Are you moving?"
"I'm coming mom!"
Mom gets Blue moving so that he can get up from the table before Red comes to the table. She is trying to prevent The Color Purple (Blue + Red =Purple). Red arrives...Mom sends Blue around the opposite way through Nana's room to head upstairs and finish getting ready.
Red eats breakfast...cereal, eggs, and toast. Error...mom only makes one piece a toast.
"Are you kidding me?! One piece???"
"Um...lets rephrase that son."
"Can you please make me another piece?"
"Sure."
Mom gives meds with water (Nurse).
"Can I have Silk milk?" says Red.
Are you freaking kidding me??? Just take the meds already! Thinks Mom, but she does not say.
Red finally takes meds after asking over and over again about Silk milk. "Why can't I take my meds with silk milk?" X's five. He asks this question 5 times over and over again in a row. The answer does not change.
He is finally putting on shoes...bus shows up 7 minutes EARLY!
Mom reassures, "You're fine...just get your other shoe on."
He leaves!!! YAY! He earns his computer back for tonight.
Blue comes down from hiding, puts on his shoes, gathers his things. He is picked up by carpool.
It's 8:15 a.m. Mom is freaking exhausted!
Logging you in...
Adelaide Dupont · 285 weeks ago
And for those of us who knew and appreciated these points in high school to a greater or lesser extent - always good to have a refresher and feel them through the current and future generations who we survived to be able to see.
I especially appreciated points 5, 7 and 10.
And young women not settling or settling down yet is a good thing.
"It's never too late to live our dreams" - but it may be too early for some of them!
And 8 of course.
nicole · 243 weeks ago
Risa · 230 weeks ago
LAH · 221 weeks ago
Maira L. Coral · 216 weeks ago
I was looking for information for my Multi-Genre Disability Research Project from my Early Childhood Special Education class on the web, when suddenly I came across your blog. I started reading this out of curiosity and I want to tell you that as you said yourself, you will not be Amanda Gorman, but you managed to make me shed some tears, perhaps because I felt totally identified with your words, especially in the part that you speak of your son. My son also has Asperger's syndrome, he is 19 years old and he is in the second semester of College. Also like yours, he takes classes from home, likewise my eldest daughter is also taking college classes from her room. At the same time, that I work as a preschool teacher from my kitchen through a computer, my husband sleeps in the room during the day because he works at night. Also in the afternoons I myself take virtual school classes. I am a 51-year-old Latin woman who began to learn the English language as adult, so maybe you find some deficiencies in my writing, however, I was very moved by how proud you express yourself about your son. Referent your mother, I liked the humorous tone that you give when your talk about her, so I did not want to miss this opportunity and stopped my assignments for a moment to let you know that your words do make a difference, since they reach the heart of at least those who have opportunity to read you. I want confess you that is the most long I have written to someone I don't know, because your words inspired me, thank you...
Gavin Bollard · 209 weeks ago
Thanks for this post. I've been very distracted of late and so this was how I found out about our friend Kate. Kate's struggles were very real but they were so constant and so wide-ranging that it was difficult for people around her to address them. I think it's going to take a while longer for me to process all this.
I learned so much from Kate because she was always quick to point out the many injustices in the world. In her glory days, she was very much a crusader and she cared for everyone. Over the years, as her situation took its toll, I came to realise that it was the fact that she couldn't be put in a single specific category, that made the system fail her. She needed help that they weren't set up to provide.
She needed more care and she needed to be less alone. I'm so sorry that this has happened.
For a long while we were corresponding almost every day but a couple of months ago, I realised that she had become so stressed that nearly every interaction I had with her was starting to trigger her. I backed away to give her a bit more space. She only had a little time that she could stand to be online and there were too many things that she wanted to do in that time. I thought that by taking a step back, she could reach out to more people who might be geographically closer and able to assist.
Kate was a beautiful soul and she will be sorely missed by all of us.
diyalabs6192603 11p · 192 weeks ago
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Spoil your cat · 122 weeks ago
Many of these living arrangement aren't good, and many of the people who run those places really don't have the residents' best interest at heart. Those places are like old age homes and foster homes, where you sometimes hear horror stories. They're hard to trust. But then there are good ones, of course.
The best thing for an autistic adult is either to go on living at home or working and renting an apartment and living independently, but that isn't always an option.
Duncan · 112 weeks ago