Friday, June 3, 2011

Funny Friday -June 3rd!

"Mom -can I get paid $20.00 to do the dishes?"
"Uh...that would be a no!"
" How about $10?" I just look at him. "How long will it take you to do these dishes?"
"About 5 maybe 10 minutes."
"Minimum wage is $7.25 per HOUR!  Five to 10 minutes of work is worth a couple of bucks.  Seeing as you used these dishes, I shouldn't be paying you at all!"
"That's not fair!" (his favorite phrase in the whole wide world).
"You're right it's not fair for me to be paying you to clean dishes most of which YOU dirtied!"
"You know Mom...I'm getting really tired of this reality stuff!"

All I could do was laugh!

I carpool every morning with Blue and his two friends who also have autism.  They are high functioning, the other a little lower.  They are the happiest couple of kids I know.  Boy 2 (lower functioning)  gets into the car first this morning and says to me,  "Would you like to kiss me?"  He grabs my hands and purses his lips.

I smile and say, "No.  I do not want to kiss you.  I think that would be inappropriate."
" about dance with me?"
"No...I don't want to dance either but you go right ahead!"

Instead of dancing...he locks the other boys out of the car! On purpose!

Angela from my Community Facebook Page says:

So at the elementary school where my friend is a teacher there was someone who kept writing inappropriate stuff on the wall. Principal was checking all the teachers bathroom sign out sheets trying to find the culprit. 

Student with autism tells teacher - "I know who it is - they signed their name." 

Teacher says "who was it?" student with autism says "they signed their name - Dick"

Sharon from Mama's Turn Now says:
I ask Jay to help me carry these two boxes into our local Town Hall.  As we are approaching the building Jay notices two rather attractive young girls standing outside the door. When the girls see us coming they politely open the door for us and say hello. Jay says hello then clears his throat and in a much more deeper voice say, "I mean Hello there Ladies!" Then he winked at them! The girls giggled, I just rolled my eyes.
Elena also from my Community Facebook Page her son G3 calls her almost daily from school:

"Mama, I had an altercation in P.E... but I'm not getting in trouble cuz all my friends know that they have to fight for SPARTA and they've got my back.." 
"Well, okay G... are you sure no one is going to call me?" 
"Yep, I told the a.p. you were named after Helen of Troy... I think she's afraid of you now.." lol 

The a.p. did call 20 minutes later only to tell me the story and how she couldn't stop laughing.  I said, "Well, the reality of it is that my mother really DID name me after Helen of Troy" (yeah, we're all nuts in my family) 

Welcome to the human race Elena...we're all crazy! 

I have to share one more from Elena:

G3 rips all of his school uniform pants at the knees... yesterday when I went to pick him up, he had cut his pant legs to make "hats" out of them.
I mean, don't we all do that? 
And Finally a funny from my boy Blue:

"Mom...why do people kiss?" 
"To show affection.  It's a way to show someone that you love and care about them.  Plus it feels good."
 "But it's sharing germs!" 
 "Yes...but you're not really thinking about germs when you do it."
 "Well, I'm not doing it...EVER!"
Somehow I don't think he was thinking about kissing a relative.  I think kissing a girl is definitely on the radar.  I give it two years. 

My name is Karen.  I am totally addicted to being in the TOP 25 on TopMommy Blogs! Please Click to keep me there! 

Vote for me @ Top Mommy Blogs - Mom Blog Directory