It's summer here in Austin --that is summer with a side order of anxiety. Is it that too much time on his hands...means more time to worry? What will I do every day? Will I see my friends? What will these camps be like? Will I have to deal more with my pain-in-the-neck brother? If Mom leaves me alone with him...will he blow a gasket? Will we have as many thunderstorms as we did last summer? Will I be as afraid as I was then? Will there be a storm tonight? Will I be able to sleep?
Every night so far...Blue has wanted to sleep in the bathroom --afraid of the possibility of storms. We're talking even if there is a 10% chance. This is better than last year where he spent days of sunshine in the bathroom. I have not allowed him to go there. "We are not going backwards son. You are going to be fine in your bed. I'm not trying to be mean. I just want you to get a good night's sleep. I am doing this for your own good...to show you that you can do it." He hesitantly accepts my answer although, he is literally shaking in his bed.
I put on soft music and pray with him. After our prayer he says, "God doesn't have time to worry about me being scared. He's too busy listening to all of the people who are praying for rain."
"God is never too busy for you." I say...really trying to convince myself at the same time. He makes a good point. I'm sure God is pretty busy. There goes that doubt in my faith. "What he will do is give you the strength to get through the storm. He will help you to sleep deeply...soundly so that you don't wake up. He will protect you during the storm."
Great wise words right? In the back of my mind I think I wonder if all those who lost everything in the recent tornadoes said their prayers the night before they lost everything...for many of them, including their lives.
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Every night so far...Blue has wanted to sleep in the bathroom --afraid of the possibility of storms. We're talking even if there is a 10% chance. This is better than last year where he spent days of sunshine in the bathroom. I have not allowed him to go there. "We are not going backwards son. You are going to be fine in your bed. I'm not trying to be mean. I just want you to get a good night's sleep. I am doing this for your own good...to show you that you can do it." He hesitantly accepts my answer although, he is literally shaking in his bed.
I put on soft music and pray with him. After our prayer he says, "God doesn't have time to worry about me being scared. He's too busy listening to all of the people who are praying for rain."
"God is never too busy for you." I say...really trying to convince myself at the same time. He makes a good point. I'm sure God is pretty busy. There goes that doubt in my faith. "What he will do is give you the strength to get through the storm. He will help you to sleep deeply...soundly so that you don't wake up. He will protect you during the storm."
Great wise words right? In the back of my mind I think I wonder if all those who lost everything in the recent tornadoes said their prayers the night before they lost everything...for many of them, including their lives.
You came to me from TOPMommy?? Please leave the way you came...click below. It counts as a vote to support the blog. Thank you!!!

Adelaide Dupont · 285 weeks ago
And for those of us who knew and appreciated these points in high school to a greater or lesser extent - always good to have a refresher and feel them through the current and future generations who we survived to be able to see.
I especially appreciated points 5, 7 and 10.
And young women not settling or settling down yet is a good thing.
"It's never too late to live our dreams" - but it may be too early for some of them!
And 8 of course.
nicole · 243 weeks ago
Risa · 230 weeks ago
LAH · 221 weeks ago
Maira L. Coral · 216 weeks ago
I was looking for information for my Multi-Genre Disability Research Project from my Early Childhood Special Education class on the web, when suddenly I came across your blog. I started reading this out of curiosity and I want to tell you that as you said yourself, you will not be Amanda Gorman, but you managed to make me shed some tears, perhaps because I felt totally identified with your words, especially in the part that you speak of your son. My son also has Asperger's syndrome, he is 19 years old and he is in the second semester of College. Also like yours, he takes classes from home, likewise my eldest daughter is also taking college classes from her room. At the same time, that I work as a preschool teacher from my kitchen through a computer, my husband sleeps in the room during the day because he works at night. Also in the afternoons I myself take virtual school classes. I am a 51-year-old Latin woman who began to learn the English language as adult, so maybe you find some deficiencies in my writing, however, I was very moved by how proud you express yourself about your son. Referent your mother, I liked the humorous tone that you give when your talk about her, so I did not want to miss this opportunity and stopped my assignments for a moment to let you know that your words do make a difference, since they reach the heart of at least those who have opportunity to read you. I want confess you that is the most long I have written to someone I don't know, because your words inspired me, thank you...
Gavin Bollard · 209 weeks ago
Thanks for this post. I've been very distracted of late and so this was how I found out about our friend Kate. Kate's struggles were very real but they were so constant and so wide-ranging that it was difficult for people around her to address them. I think it's going to take a while longer for me to process all this.
I learned so much from Kate because she was always quick to point out the many injustices in the world. In her glory days, she was very much a crusader and she cared for everyone. Over the years, as her situation took its toll, I came to realise that it was the fact that she couldn't be put in a single specific category, that made the system fail her. She needed help that they weren't set up to provide.
She needed more care and she needed to be less alone. I'm so sorry that this has happened.
For a long while we were corresponding almost every day but a couple of months ago, I realised that she had become so stressed that nearly every interaction I had with her was starting to trigger her. I backed away to give her a bit more space. She only had a little time that she could stand to be online and there were too many things that she wanted to do in that time. I thought that by taking a step back, she could reach out to more people who might be geographically closer and able to assist.
Kate was a beautiful soul and she will be sorely missed by all of us.
diyalabs6192603 11p · 192 weeks ago
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Spoil your cat · 122 weeks ago
Many of these living arrangement aren't good, and many of the people who run those places really don't have the residents' best interest at heart. Those places are like old age homes and foster homes, where you sometimes hear horror stories. They're hard to trust. But then there are good ones, of course.
The best thing for an autistic adult is either to go on living at home or working and renting an apartment and living independently, but that isn't always an option.
Duncan · 112 weeks ago