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Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Anxiety Rising

It's summer here in Austin --that is summer with a side order of anxiety.  Is it that too much time on his hands...means more time to worry?  What will I do every day?  Will I see my friends? What will these camps be like? Will I have to deal more with my pain-in-the-neck brother?  If Mom leaves me alone with him...will he blow a gasket? Will we have as many thunderstorms as we did last summer? Will I be as afraid as I was then? Will there be a storm tonight?  Will I be able to sleep?

Every night so far...Blue has wanted to sleep in the bathroom --afraid of the possibility of storms.  We're talking even if there is a 10% chance. This is better than last year where he spent days of sunshine in the bathroom.  I have not allowed him to go there.  "We are not going backwards son.  You are going to be fine in your bed. I'm not trying to be mean.  I just want you to get a good night's sleep.  I am doing this for your own good...to show you that you can do it." He hesitantly accepts my answer  although, he is literally shaking in his bed.

I put on soft music and pray with him.  After our prayer he says, "God doesn't have time to worry about me being scared.  He's too busy listening to all of the people who are praying for rain."

"God is never too busy for you." I say...really trying to convince myself at the same time.  He makes a good point.  I'm sure God is pretty busy. There goes that doubt in my faith.  "What he will do is give you the strength to get through the storm.  He will help you to sleep deeply...soundly so that you don't wake up.  He will protect you during the storm."

Great wise words right?  In the back of my mind I think I wonder if all those who lost everything in the recent tornadoes said their prayers the night before they lost everything...for many of them, including their lives.

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