Friday, April 29, 2011

Scream Free??? No Way!

My girlfriend sent me a some audio CDs a while back from "ScreamFree Parenting."  I thanked her kindly and never listened to them.  I thought to myself,  This must be for normal kids.  There is no way I can parent these two Aspergers kids of mine with out screaming.  If I don't scream sometime I wouldn't be heard over their screaming.  At times I scream just to shock make them think I'm just a little bit crazy -to catch them off guard so that they just never know what their crazy mama might do.

Today, the same friend sent me a link which I shared on my Facebook Fan Page (Like me here).  On the link to the Screamfree Tip of the Day,  the author,  Han Frankel basically tells us that our happiness doesn't have to depend on the mood or the actions of our children.  Just because they are screaming and ranting, we don't have to buy into it.  We can choose to be happy.  Really?? Who knew??

"If your child is throwing a tantrum or pitching a fit, guess what? That doesn’t have to make you upset. You can still choose to be happy. If your child is moping about and grumbling about her life, guess what? You don’t have to pull her out of her emotional ditch to feel good about yourself. You can still find joy. Even if your child is yelling at you how horrible you are, you do not have to take it personally. You can find peace.  This is a very freeing sentiment because it allows you to recognize a simple and powerful truth. No one can make you feel anything. When this truth can sink in, you will be in a much better position to really be with your child as they go through these difficult emotions. And they will see that you are stronger than the winds blowing around you. They will naturally gravitate towards you and your calm so that you will be able to provide comfort, consequences, or clarity when they need it most."
Hal Runkel, LMFT, Author of ScreamFree Parenting and ScreamFree Marriage 

Now I know we are all have our moments.  Lets face it, our kids are extremely challenging.  So many times I've said to myself,  Why do I have to feel every single emotion that they are feeling?  I mean it's freakin' exhausting.  Especially, when half the time Red (my 15 year old) goes through these tantrums with the sole purpose of getting a reaction from me.   Imagine if even half the time that our children are upset, we could choose to stay calm, and happy.  Do you think it might rub off on them?  We could just say, "I'm sorry you feel your life is so horrible, but I am choosing to be happy.  I'm going to focus on the positive things in my life. You should try it."

Red would probably scream, "Stop being happy mom!  You're pushing my buttons!!!"

I think I'll be pulling out those CD's now and listening to every last one of them.  You can order them click here:

By the way, you can go to the link to get your own Tip of the Day
You can also Like ScreemFree on Facebook.

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