Looking with the naked eye, people with Aspergers can appear to be rude at times. They can be brutally blunt, saying exactly what's on their mind, not thinking how it may make another person feel. They don't always remember their social etiquette. They may walk into a room and forget to speak to everyone. They may walk through a door and let it slam right in the face of someone walking behind them. That has happened to me, more than once in my quest to teach my young men how to be gentlemen.
Well...a couple of funny things happen as I'm dropping Blue off at school this week:
As Blue is getting out of the car we see an old friend of ours walking towards our car. Blue gets out and says hi. They walk towards the front door of the school. Blue is leading the pack. He opens the door and stands back, allowing the group of three to enter in front of him. Then he turns around and sees a group of students approaching from a few feet away. He waits and holds the door for the entire group.
I drive away saying, "YES! That's my boy!" Wishing I had someone to give a high-five too. That would be you I guess -my readers.
The following day we see a girl get out of the car in front of us. She is wearing those little Daisy Duke butt cheek shorts. She has long legs and isn't particularly shapely, but still. I say, "I thought those kind of shorts weren't allowed at school."
Blue checks her out and says, "I guess she wants to be Playboyed."
I crack up laughing. What does he mean? Does he mean objectified by boys like the women who display their bodies in Playboy Magazine. What does he know about Playboy?
"Playboyed? What does that mean?" I ask.
"You know...what's that word when boys make comments to a girl because she's wearing something showing her body? You know when they tease her and whistle...stuff like that."
"Oh...do you mean teased?"
"No...not teased."
"You mean harassed."
"Yeah...I guess I mean harassed."
Wow! Welcome to middle school! This boy is becoming a man. Thankfully he's too shy to do any harassing...I hope.
______________________
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Well...a couple of funny things happen as I'm dropping Blue off at school this week:
As Blue is getting out of the car we see an old friend of ours walking towards our car. Blue gets out and says hi. They walk towards the front door of the school. Blue is leading the pack. He opens the door and stands back, allowing the group of three to enter in front of him. Then he turns around and sees a group of students approaching from a few feet away. He waits and holds the door for the entire group.
I drive away saying, "YES! That's my boy!" Wishing I had someone to give a high-five too. That would be you I guess -my readers.
The following day we see a girl get out of the car in front of us. She is wearing those little Daisy Duke butt cheek shorts. She has long legs and isn't particularly shapely, but still. I say, "I thought those kind of shorts weren't allowed at school."
Blue checks her out and says, "I guess she wants to be Playboyed."
I crack up laughing. What does he mean? Does he mean objectified by boys like the women who display their bodies in Playboy Magazine. What does he know about Playboy?
"Playboyed? What does that mean?" I ask.
"You know...what's that word when boys make comments to a girl because she's wearing something showing her body? You know when they tease her and whistle...stuff like that."
"Oh...do you mean teased?"
"No...not teased."
"You mean harassed."
"Yeah...I guess I mean harassed."
Wow! Welcome to middle school! This boy is becoming a man. Thankfully he's too shy to do any harassing...I hope.
______________________
If you enjoyed this post...Please give me a quick click below. THANK YOU!!!!

Adelaide Dupont · 285 weeks ago
And for those of us who knew and appreciated these points in high school to a greater or lesser extent - always good to have a refresher and feel them through the current and future generations who we survived to be able to see.
I especially appreciated points 5, 7 and 10.
And young women not settling or settling down yet is a good thing.
"It's never too late to live our dreams" - but it may be too early for some of them!
And 8 of course.
nicole · 243 weeks ago
Risa · 230 weeks ago
LAH · 221 weeks ago
Maira L. Coral · 216 weeks ago
I was looking for information for my Multi-Genre Disability Research Project from my Early Childhood Special Education class on the web, when suddenly I came across your blog. I started reading this out of curiosity and I want to tell you that as you said yourself, you will not be Amanda Gorman, but you managed to make me shed some tears, perhaps because I felt totally identified with your words, especially in the part that you speak of your son. My son also has Asperger's syndrome, he is 19 years old and he is in the second semester of College. Also like yours, he takes classes from home, likewise my eldest daughter is also taking college classes from her room. At the same time, that I work as a preschool teacher from my kitchen through a computer, my husband sleeps in the room during the day because he works at night. Also in the afternoons I myself take virtual school classes. I am a 51-year-old Latin woman who began to learn the English language as adult, so maybe you find some deficiencies in my writing, however, I was very moved by how proud you express yourself about your son. Referent your mother, I liked the humorous tone that you give when your talk about her, so I did not want to miss this opportunity and stopped my assignments for a moment to let you know that your words do make a difference, since they reach the heart of at least those who have opportunity to read you. I want confess you that is the most long I have written to someone I don't know, because your words inspired me, thank you...
Gavin Bollard · 209 weeks ago
Thanks for this post. I've been very distracted of late and so this was how I found out about our friend Kate. Kate's struggles were very real but they were so constant and so wide-ranging that it was difficult for people around her to address them. I think it's going to take a while longer for me to process all this.
I learned so much from Kate because she was always quick to point out the many injustices in the world. In her glory days, she was very much a crusader and she cared for everyone. Over the years, as her situation took its toll, I came to realise that it was the fact that she couldn't be put in a single specific category, that made the system fail her. She needed help that they weren't set up to provide.
She needed more care and she needed to be less alone. I'm so sorry that this has happened.
For a long while we were corresponding almost every day but a couple of months ago, I realised that she had become so stressed that nearly every interaction I had with her was starting to trigger her. I backed away to give her a bit more space. She only had a little time that she could stand to be online and there were too many things that she wanted to do in that time. I thought that by taking a step back, she could reach out to more people who might be geographically closer and able to assist.
Kate was a beautiful soul and she will be sorely missed by all of us.
diyalabs6192603 11p · 192 weeks ago
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Spoil your cat · 121 weeks ago
Many of these living arrangement aren't good, and many of the people who run those places really don't have the residents' best interest at heart. Those places are like old age homes and foster homes, where you sometimes hear horror stories. They're hard to trust. But then there are good ones, of course.
The best thing for an autistic adult is either to go on living at home or working and renting an apartment and living independently, but that isn't always an option.
Duncan · 112 weeks ago