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Saturday, March 12, 2011

Dad to the Rescue!

After months of without business trips, Dad was back on the road this week.  Don't ask me where he went.   I can't remember.  I think it was Oklahoma.  All I know for sure is that he wasn't here. He says I don't even see him when he is here, but he is wrong...I do.

We may not have this hot and heavy romance thing going on a daily basis.  I mean who has time for that? A day doesn't go by without a hug, a kiss, a miniature back rub...something. If I'm really in a crappy mood, I may totally dis him, but not that often.  I don't have a perfect life and I can't always be the perfect wife.  There are days when I just have nothing left after dealing with the stress of raising these boys.


The truth is, I so appreciate what he brings to the table.  We are excellent partners.  He has strengths where I have weaknesses and vice-versa.  He handles finances...I hate finances.  They make me nervous.  I know what I need to know.  How much can I spend?  He does the heavy discipline.  I come to the rescue when he's being too harsh.  I'm the soft touch -new school, while he's the tough and ready -old-school.  He hyper-focuses on work while I hyper-focus on our kids.  They connect on the geekiness front, where as I totally don't get it. He gives me a break when I really need one.  


Thank God...he provides the example for them of what it means to be a man,  a diligent worker, a responsible citizen, a good husband, and an excellent father. 


I take care of all of the details of running a house, the shopping, the medical appointments (including his), the therapies, household maintenance, school, teachers, IEP's, all things autism and all extra-curricular activities.  (I could go on...but I'll spare you.) 


I have the added responsibility of caring for my 71 year-old mother.  Well -she mostly takes care of herself, but I have to cart her around, and help her manage her life now that she lives with us.  


I provide an image of what it means to be a woman, a good wife, a mother and a citizen of the world.  As far as being the female image for them...let's just say whomever they marry will have a lot to live up to.  They are totally spoiled! 


Blue really missed Dad while he was gone on this trip.  After a few days, I just couldn't do anything right.  I definitely could not resolve any conflict between he and Red.  Red has really been trying to get along with everyone, including Blue for the past few days.  Blue wasn't having any of it.  He did not trust that Red means anything that he says.  Like when he says, the infamous, "I'm sorry."  For a while there, we thought "Sorry" was his middle name, he says it so often.  Then he proceeds to turn around and repeat the same behavior that he is supposedly sorry for.  


Red tried over and over to be nice.  "Good morning Blue," he says when he comes down for breakfast.  This is huge for him.  He usually comes down and says something nasty like, "What's wrong with your hair?" or "Why are you wearing that?" 


I implore Blue to acknowledge his brother's effort and to try to forgive him, to no avail.  



Blue says, "I don't trust him, so I'm just going to ignore him."
After 3 days of Red trying to be nice and being rejected, he finally lashed out, said something rude and nasty.  There was a miniature explosion between them.  


Luckily by this time Dad was home.  He goes into the room and has quiet little pow-wow with Blue.  The two of them come out, kick me out of Red's room and they all pow-wow together.  They kick me out because according to dad, "I always talk for everyone."  He wanted them to talk for themselves.  Apologies were made.  They both promise to try to get along better.  All is good in the universe.  


I had been trying the same thing for 3 days.  It's amazing what happens when Dad comes to the rescue! 


Dad is leaving again tomorrow and it's Spring Break.  It will be a break from having to get up early in the morning and deal with the stress of getting ready and going to school.  For me...it means extra peace-keeping duty.  What the hell am I going to do? I can't tell you how much I'm looking forward to it. 
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