It's an absolutely perfect Sunday. We go from freezing temperatures during the week to seventy degrees and sunshine. I go into the backyard to do poop patrol and to pick up a few weeds. The sun feels so good, I decide I can't possibly go back inside. I have to take advantage of it.
I sit my bottom on the bottom of the slide on our playscape which is drenched in sun. I lay back. Five minutes later, my back can't take it. I can no longer lay on my back without cushion. I pull the cushion off of the bench and put it on the slide. I position it just right so that Harry (my dog) and I can lay down. It is so peaceful --so quiet, I meditate. I fall asleep.
I am awakened of course, by Blue who comes to ask me where I want to go have dinner. We decide on a new place that has a little bit of everything in hopes to satisfy everyone. I tell Red that we will leave promptly at 4 p.m. If he wants to go, he must be ready on time. We will not wait. Surprisingly, he agrees, and is actually ready on time. Of course, he has to argue about where we are going because it's somewhere we have never been. All things must be familiar. The place has cheeseburgers. That's all that should really matter.
We arrive at the restaurant which is not very crowded at all. That should have been the first sign that the food wouldn't be all that great. Red decides not to sit with us, but to sit at the table next to us. Whatever -the place is nearly empty. He actually puts his head down on the table laying his upper body on it as well.
"Are you too weak to hold your body up?" I ask.
"No...I'm just bored," he replies.
"Do you see anyone else in this entire restaurant laying down on the table?"
He looks around.
"No."
"That's because it's inappropriate. A restaurant is not a place for a nap."
He sits up but his shoulders are slumped over --his body is in the shape of the letter C. He is wearing a sharp, fitted Calvin Klein shirt which could make his upper body look quite attractive. The effect is ruined by his slumping shoulders. I give him a mirrored image of himself and ask, "Would you be attracted to a girl if you saw her sitting like this?"
"Stop it mom!" he says as he sits up straighter.
Dinner is less than fulfilling for all of us. I bring up the idea of going somewhere else for dessert. Blue perks up with a huge smile on his face. "Dessert! That's just what I need right now," he says excitedly.
"I want to go home! I don't want to go anywhere else!"
Discreetly, I ask my husband what he thinks about going to BJ's Red's favorite place for dessert. He agrees. We make the announcement to the kids, suddenly we get a huge uncharacteristic smile out of Red. He absolutely loves their white chocolate macadamia cookie with ice cream on top.
I sit my bottom on the bottom of the slide on our playscape which is drenched in sun. I lay back. Five minutes later, my back can't take it. I can no longer lay on my back without cushion. I pull the cushion off of the bench and put it on the slide. I position it just right so that Harry (my dog) and I can lay down. It is so peaceful --so quiet, I meditate. I fall asleep.
I am awakened of course, by Blue who comes to ask me where I want to go have dinner. We decide on a new place that has a little bit of everything in hopes to satisfy everyone. I tell Red that we will leave promptly at 4 p.m. If he wants to go, he must be ready on time. We will not wait. Surprisingly, he agrees, and is actually ready on time. Of course, he has to argue about where we are going because it's somewhere we have never been. All things must be familiar. The place has cheeseburgers. That's all that should really matter.
We arrive at the restaurant which is not very crowded at all. That should have been the first sign that the food wouldn't be all that great. Red decides not to sit with us, but to sit at the table next to us. Whatever -the place is nearly empty. He actually puts his head down on the table laying his upper body on it as well.
"Are you too weak to hold your body up?" I ask.
"No...I'm just bored," he replies.
"Do you see anyone else in this entire restaurant laying down on the table?"
He looks around.
"No."
"That's because it's inappropriate. A restaurant is not a place for a nap."
He sits up but his shoulders are slumped over --his body is in the shape of the letter C. He is wearing a sharp, fitted Calvin Klein shirt which could make his upper body look quite attractive. The effect is ruined by his slumping shoulders. I give him a mirrored image of himself and ask, "Would you be attracted to a girl if you saw her sitting like this?"
"Stop it mom!" he says as he sits up straighter.
Dinner is less than fulfilling for all of us. I bring up the idea of going somewhere else for dessert. Blue perks up with a huge smile on his face. "Dessert! That's just what I need right now," he says excitedly.
"I want to go home! I don't want to go anywhere else!"
Discreetly, I ask my husband what he thinks about going to BJ's Red's favorite place for dessert. He agrees. We make the announcement to the kids, suddenly we get a huge uncharacteristic smile out of Red. He absolutely loves their white chocolate macadamia cookie with ice cream on top.
BJ's Famous Pizookie®
The Gorgeous $5000 (cost of braces) smile that we don't often get to see!
Yum! From the grateful one...
The smile from Red was solicited before he goes off on us about not having enough dessert, because I didn't let him order the large one. He goes on a fifteen minute rant about how unfair we are. How he hates he brother, because of course Blue is being gracious and Red can't stand that.
Gotta love it! Or NOT...
Happy Valentines Day! May your day filled with Love.
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Adelaide Dupont · 285 weeks ago
And for those of us who knew and appreciated these points in high school to a greater or lesser extent - always good to have a refresher and feel them through the current and future generations who we survived to be able to see.
I especially appreciated points 5, 7 and 10.
And young women not settling or settling down yet is a good thing.
"It's never too late to live our dreams" - but it may be too early for some of them!
And 8 of course.
nicole · 243 weeks ago
Risa · 230 weeks ago
LAH · 221 weeks ago
Maira L. Coral · 216 weeks ago
I was looking for information for my Multi-Genre Disability Research Project from my Early Childhood Special Education class on the web, when suddenly I came across your blog. I started reading this out of curiosity and I want to tell you that as you said yourself, you will not be Amanda Gorman, but you managed to make me shed some tears, perhaps because I felt totally identified with your words, especially in the part that you speak of your son. My son also has Asperger's syndrome, he is 19 years old and he is in the second semester of College. Also like yours, he takes classes from home, likewise my eldest daughter is also taking college classes from her room. At the same time, that I work as a preschool teacher from my kitchen through a computer, my husband sleeps in the room during the day because he works at night. Also in the afternoons I myself take virtual school classes. I am a 51-year-old Latin woman who began to learn the English language as adult, so maybe you find some deficiencies in my writing, however, I was very moved by how proud you express yourself about your son. Referent your mother, I liked the humorous tone that you give when your talk about her, so I did not want to miss this opportunity and stopped my assignments for a moment to let you know that your words do make a difference, since they reach the heart of at least those who have opportunity to read you. I want confess you that is the most long I have written to someone I don't know, because your words inspired me, thank you...
Gavin Bollard · 209 weeks ago
Thanks for this post. I've been very distracted of late and so this was how I found out about our friend Kate. Kate's struggles were very real but they were so constant and so wide-ranging that it was difficult for people around her to address them. I think it's going to take a while longer for me to process all this.
I learned so much from Kate because she was always quick to point out the many injustices in the world. In her glory days, she was very much a crusader and she cared for everyone. Over the years, as her situation took its toll, I came to realise that it was the fact that she couldn't be put in a single specific category, that made the system fail her. She needed help that they weren't set up to provide.
She needed more care and she needed to be less alone. I'm so sorry that this has happened.
For a long while we were corresponding almost every day but a couple of months ago, I realised that she had become so stressed that nearly every interaction I had with her was starting to trigger her. I backed away to give her a bit more space. She only had a little time that she could stand to be online and there were too many things that she wanted to do in that time. I thought that by taking a step back, she could reach out to more people who might be geographically closer and able to assist.
Kate was a beautiful soul and she will be sorely missed by all of us.
diyalabs6192603 11p · 192 weeks ago
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Spoil your cat · 122 weeks ago
Many of these living arrangement aren't good, and many of the people who run those places really don't have the residents' best interest at heart. Those places are like old age homes and foster homes, where you sometimes hear horror stories. They're hard to trust. But then there are good ones, of course.
The best thing for an autistic adult is either to go on living at home or working and renting an apartment and living independently, but that isn't always an option.
Duncan · 112 weeks ago