I really hate the whole commerciality of Valentines Day. I have this vision of retailers salivating at the thought of getting some of our money. You have the cheesy jewelry commercials. Flowers and balloons are everywhere! The mailbox is full of ads. I just think...what kind of suckers do they think we are? We don't need any freakin' gifts for Valentines Day. For heaven's sake, Al and I have been married for 17 years. I know he loves me and I love him. We don't need to go spend money to prove it.
Last year I made him a picture for Valentines Day. It was in oil pastel --two golden hearts linked together. I mean doesn't that say it all? No money spent...bam! Here it is. I can't even remember if he bought me anything. I'm sure he bought flowers, and I'm sure I didn't cook. We probably ordered in or something. I can't even remember what we did for sure. One year just runs into another when you've been married for so long.
I do however remember making him something with my own two hands. It still hangs in our living room. That's what this love day should be about. Giving something you made -from your heart.
<< Here it is.
Well so much for that soapbox...today, we broke the rules. He offered to take the afternoon off and take me to out to lunch. (Cha-ching$$) So off we go to North a fancy Italian place in the Domain a fancy-smancy outdoor shopping center. I have a calamari and arugula salad with some kind of lemon dressing...yum! He has baked ziti. Very fresh -delicious!
After lunch we go for a walk through the outdoor shopping area. Oops --I forgot my sunglasses. We go into Brighton and he buys me a new pair. (Cha-ching$$$) My old ones have scratches on them. They are overpriced. I seldom buy anything that is not on sale. But hey -it's Valentines Day. He's feeling generous...I go for it. Such a hypocrite!
On the way home we stop to pick up lunch for my mom and a special Valentine treat for Blue. Since Red told me emphatically that he "hates Valentines Day!" I wouldn't want him to benefit from a day that he hates. I mean...what an insult that would be. After all, he just about cursed us out after we took him to his favorite restaurant for dessert last night.
We break another rule and buy flowers for my mom before we head home. (Cha-Ching$$)
We arrive home and Blue has gone "out for a walk." He walked to Walgreens to buy me and Dad chocolates and a card. I have 3 sons. 2 of them are older, 22 and 15. He is 12 and the 1ST to buy cards and gifts without prompting!
Red comes home and gives us the wonderful gift of a nice screaming rant about how much he hates Valentines Day. "It's not even real! It's just a fake holiday!" He goes off to his room and proceeds to tell the facebook world "F*#! Valentines Day!" We stop him just before he clicks post. I tell him that he can express his negative feelings about the day without swearing.
"What do you think your grandmother, your cousins, aunts and uncles will think about you if they read language like that coming from you?"
Of course, he hadn't given that any thought. He changes his mind, but continues to rant about how horrible his life is. -Just Lovely!
What a miserable existence -to feel so angry most of the time. I ache for him --literally. I will not however, let this completely ruin my day.
For the most part ...it really was a great Valentines Day.
I failed to mention my favorite part of the day:
As we walk through the shopping area we hear the Olivia Newton-John and John Travolta Song "You're the One That I Want". Hubby and I are holding hands. We break into full song and dance right there in the middle of the sidewalk like were in the musical "Grease." People are looking and smiling. The spontaneity of that moment was priceless.
That moment, the card and especially the thought from Blue made it a nearly perfect Valentines Day, despite the fact that we made the local retailers happy.
Last year I made him a picture for Valentines Day. It was in oil pastel --two golden hearts linked together. I mean doesn't that say it all? No money spent...bam! Here it is. I can't even remember if he bought me anything. I'm sure he bought flowers, and I'm sure I didn't cook. We probably ordered in or something. I can't even remember what we did for sure. One year just runs into another when you've been married for so long.
I do however remember making him something with my own two hands. It still hangs in our living room. That's what this love day should be about. Giving something you made -from your heart.
<< Here it is.
Well so much for that soapbox...today, we broke the rules. He offered to take the afternoon off and take me to out to lunch. (Cha-ching$$) So off we go to North a fancy Italian place in the Domain a fancy-smancy outdoor shopping center. I have a calamari and arugula salad with some kind of lemon dressing...yum! He has baked ziti. Very fresh -delicious!
After lunch we go for a walk through the outdoor shopping area. Oops --I forgot my sunglasses. We go into Brighton and he buys me a new pair. (Cha-ching$$$) My old ones have scratches on them. They are overpriced. I seldom buy anything that is not on sale. But hey -it's Valentines Day. He's feeling generous...I go for it. Such a hypocrite!
On the way home we stop to pick up lunch for my mom and a special Valentine treat for Blue. Since Red told me emphatically that he "hates Valentines Day!" I wouldn't want him to benefit from a day that he hates. I mean...what an insult that would be. After all, he just about cursed us out after we took him to his favorite restaurant for dessert last night.
We break another rule and buy flowers for my mom before we head home. (Cha-Ching$$)
We arrive home and Blue has gone "out for a walk." He walked to Walgreens to buy me and Dad chocolates and a card. I have 3 sons. 2 of them are older, 22 and 15. He is 12 and the 1ST to buy cards and gifts without prompting!
So sweet! So thoughtful!
Red comes home and gives us the wonderful gift of a nice screaming rant about how much he hates Valentines Day. "It's not even real! It's just a fake holiday!" He goes off to his room and proceeds to tell the facebook world "F*#! Valentines Day!" We stop him just before he clicks post. I tell him that he can express his negative feelings about the day without swearing.
"What do you think your grandmother, your cousins, aunts and uncles will think about you if they read language like that coming from you?"
Of course, he hadn't given that any thought. He changes his mind, but continues to rant about how horrible his life is. -Just Lovely!
What a miserable existence -to feel so angry most of the time. I ache for him --literally. I will not however, let this completely ruin my day.
For the most part ...it really was a great Valentines Day.
I failed to mention my favorite part of the day:
As we walk through the shopping area we hear the Olivia Newton-John and John Travolta Song "You're the One That I Want". Hubby and I are holding hands. We break into full song and dance right there in the middle of the sidewalk like were in the musical "Grease." People are looking and smiling. The spontaneity of that moment was priceless.
That moment, the card and especially the thought from Blue made it a nearly perfect Valentines Day, despite the fact that we made the local retailers happy.
Logging you in...
Adelaide Dupont · 285 weeks ago
And for those of us who knew and appreciated these points in high school to a greater or lesser extent - always good to have a refresher and feel them through the current and future generations who we survived to be able to see.
I especially appreciated points 5, 7 and 10.
And young women not settling or settling down yet is a good thing.
"It's never too late to live our dreams" - but it may be too early for some of them!
And 8 of course.
nicole · 243 weeks ago
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Maira L. Coral · 216 weeks ago
I was looking for information for my Multi-Genre Disability Research Project from my Early Childhood Special Education class on the web, when suddenly I came across your blog. I started reading this out of curiosity and I want to tell you that as you said yourself, you will not be Amanda Gorman, but you managed to make me shed some tears, perhaps because I felt totally identified with your words, especially in the part that you speak of your son. My son also has Asperger's syndrome, he is 19 years old and he is in the second semester of College. Also like yours, he takes classes from home, likewise my eldest daughter is also taking college classes from her room. At the same time, that I work as a preschool teacher from my kitchen through a computer, my husband sleeps in the room during the day because he works at night. Also in the afternoons I myself take virtual school classes. I am a 51-year-old Latin woman who began to learn the English language as adult, so maybe you find some deficiencies in my writing, however, I was very moved by how proud you express yourself about your son. Referent your mother, I liked the humorous tone that you give when your talk about her, so I did not want to miss this opportunity and stopped my assignments for a moment to let you know that your words do make a difference, since they reach the heart of at least those who have opportunity to read you. I want confess you that is the most long I have written to someone I don't know, because your words inspired me, thank you...
Gavin Bollard · 209 weeks ago
Thanks for this post. I've been very distracted of late and so this was how I found out about our friend Kate. Kate's struggles were very real but they were so constant and so wide-ranging that it was difficult for people around her to address them. I think it's going to take a while longer for me to process all this.
I learned so much from Kate because she was always quick to point out the many injustices in the world. In her glory days, she was very much a crusader and she cared for everyone. Over the years, as her situation took its toll, I came to realise that it was the fact that she couldn't be put in a single specific category, that made the system fail her. She needed help that they weren't set up to provide.
She needed more care and she needed to be less alone. I'm so sorry that this has happened.
For a long while we were corresponding almost every day but a couple of months ago, I realised that she had become so stressed that nearly every interaction I had with her was starting to trigger her. I backed away to give her a bit more space. She only had a little time that she could stand to be online and there were too many things that she wanted to do in that time. I thought that by taking a step back, she could reach out to more people who might be geographically closer and able to assist.
Kate was a beautiful soul and she will be sorely missed by all of us.
diyalabs6192603 11p · 192 weeks ago
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Spoil your cat · 122 weeks ago
Many of these living arrangement aren't good, and many of the people who run those places really don't have the residents' best interest at heart. Those places are like old age homes and foster homes, where you sometimes hear horror stories. They're hard to trust. But then there are good ones, of course.
The best thing for an autistic adult is either to go on living at home or working and renting an apartment and living independently, but that isn't always an option.
Duncan · 112 weeks ago