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Saturday, February 5, 2011

Parents Night Out

It seems like it's been forever since I've been on a date with my husband.  It hasn't been...it just seems like it.  He reminded me last night that we did go see "The King's Speech" a few weeks ago.   For the past two weeks however, I've been wanting to go see the new Natalie Portman/Ashton Kutcher movie but it just hasn't worked out.  A romantic comedy that my husband actually wouldn't mind seeing.  He loves all things Natalie Portman.  He even took me to see "Black Swan," so I guess I really should quit whining. 

I thought that the boys getting older would mean that we could go out all the time  -that having teenagers would mean that we don't need a babysitter.  Then my mom moved in with us last year.  I thought 'great...we can even spend the night out if we want to!'

I didn't plan on the fact that having two teenagers on the autism spectrum would make for explosive fights that can break out at any given moment.  Therefore, it's not so simple to just leave them at home alone or even with their grandmother.  It was actually easier to leave them at home alone two years ago, than it is now that they are older.  They didn't fight as much then.  Now hormones have kicked in and the little one doesn't take any crap from the older one.  He will whack him upside the head in a heartbeat!

The last time I left them at home with their grandmother for just an hour...I came home to a whole in the wall.  "It was Red's fault Mom," says Blue.  "I'm sorry...but he made me so mad! He wouldn't get out of my room!"

Now what we have to do is arrange for one of them to be out of the house while we're gone.  Last night Blue went over to play with a friend in the neighborhood while we went out.  When we went to see the "King's Speech" a few weeks ago, he went to play with another friend.  Thank God at least one of them has the ability to maintain friendships.

On this "parents night" we went to a concert to see Esperanza Spaulding -a wonderful bassist and jazz singer at quaint venue here in Austin called One World Theatre.  We love this venue because there is not a bad seat in the house.  It's a Tuscan styled mansion that is nestled on top of Barton Creek Hills with beautiful views of Austin.  Part of the mansion is converted into a concert hall that only seats about 250 people.  There is also reception hall and patio downstairs where you can have drinks and dinner beforehand.  They also rent if for weddings and events. The theater is a very intimate venue.  You get very up close and personal with the artist.  Our seats last night were 2nd row center.  (Not bad hubby! I think I'll renew his contract for another year.)

We met our good friends at the concert and afterwards we went out for cocktails together.  It was great to remember what it feels like to be an adult  -a couple, sharing adult conversation about art, music, politics and Oprah's new half-sister.

It is so important to remain connected as a couple.  It's easy to get lost in being parents of special needs children.  So many couples don't make it through the difficult process or raising high-maintenance kids.  These boys of ours desperately need two parents in tact.   If we're going to make it, we have to keep our connection which means, 'Parents Night Out' has to be a big priority.

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2 comments:

  1. I am not married but I know the drain an autistic child presents on a person. My son has Asperger's and he is only 10. He often wears me out.

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  2. You are so right about parents night out. We try/wish for more time but it is a battle.
    We have holes in our walls also, along with broken bannisters, chairs (not to even mention t.v. remotes!)
    you are a lifeline!

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