It comes down to this...when I was a kid, my mother became a Jehovah's witness therefore, so did I. I'm still recovering from the damage. We did not celebrate birthdays or Christmas and I've been making up for it every since. I make my own birthday last for at least a month. I give my husband holy-hell if he doesn't turn cartwheels to spoil me. Most of all, I make absolutely sure that my children have great memories of their birthdays.
Our tradition is to start with pancakes or waffles in the morning with a candle and me singing "Happy Birthday." (Dad is never awake for this -or he's traveling on business.) I usually bring lunch to school and cupcakes, cookies or whatever (at least during elementary). The fait accompli is a home-made fried chicken dinner or a choice of your favorite restaurant. Sometimes there's a party with friends, other times, there's a weekend trip and other times it's just a family-night out.
This year Blue had friends over to hang out and play video games, shoot a few hoops and watch inappropriate videos on You-tube. He had the twins over whom he has known since pre-k. His friend Josh who was his best friend and classmate from 1st to 4th grade. They still get together to play since Josh moved on to another school in 5th and 6th. He also had Jake an elementary school friend who has since moved on to another middle school. Finally, a new friend that is in his social skills group at his new middle school.
Some of these guys have special needs, some do not. They are a wonderful bunch and Blue is blessed to have them as friends.
We took the party over to the elementary school where their friendships all began. Mom got a little nostalgic and teary at the thought of how long they have known and supported each other.
I think my emotion is raw because of what Red is going through right now. He has lost touch with all of his elementary friends and struggles to make new friendships in high-school. We were blessed today that he had a session with his new Social Skills counselor which also involved meeting a new friend.
Our tradition is to start with pancakes or waffles in the morning with a candle and me singing "Happy Birthday." (Dad is never awake for this -or he's traveling on business.) I usually bring lunch to school and cupcakes, cookies or whatever (at least during elementary). The fait accompli is a home-made fried chicken dinner or a choice of your favorite restaurant. Sometimes there's a party with friends, other times, there's a weekend trip and other times it's just a family-night out.
This year Blue had friends over to hang out and play video games, shoot a few hoops and watch inappropriate videos on You-tube. He had the twins over whom he has known since pre-k. His friend Josh who was his best friend and classmate from 1st to 4th grade. They still get together to play since Josh moved on to another school in 5th and 6th. He also had Jake an elementary school friend who has since moved on to another middle school. Finally, a new friend that is in his social skills group at his new middle school.
Some of these guys have special needs, some do not. They are a wonderful bunch and Blue is blessed to have them as friends.
We took the party over to the elementary school where their friendships all began. Mom got a little nostalgic and teary at the thought of how long they have known and supported each other.
I think my emotion is raw because of what Red is going through right now. He has lost touch with all of his elementary friends and struggles to make new friendships in high-school. We were blessed today that he had a session with his new Social Skills counselor which also involved meeting a new friend.
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Can we take a silly one? Of course you can! (Jake-not pictured) |
Adelaide Dupont · 285 weeks ago
And for those of us who knew and appreciated these points in high school to a greater or lesser extent - always good to have a refresher and feel them through the current and future generations who we survived to be able to see.
I especially appreciated points 5, 7 and 10.
And young women not settling or settling down yet is a good thing.
"It's never too late to live our dreams" - but it may be too early for some of them!
And 8 of course.
nicole · 243 weeks ago
Risa · 230 weeks ago
LAH · 221 weeks ago
Maira L. Coral · 216 weeks ago
I was looking for information for my Multi-Genre Disability Research Project from my Early Childhood Special Education class on the web, when suddenly I came across your blog. I started reading this out of curiosity and I want to tell you that as you said yourself, you will not be Amanda Gorman, but you managed to make me shed some tears, perhaps because I felt totally identified with your words, especially in the part that you speak of your son. My son also has Asperger's syndrome, he is 19 years old and he is in the second semester of College. Also like yours, he takes classes from home, likewise my eldest daughter is also taking college classes from her room. At the same time, that I work as a preschool teacher from my kitchen through a computer, my husband sleeps in the room during the day because he works at night. Also in the afternoons I myself take virtual school classes. I am a 51-year-old Latin woman who began to learn the English language as adult, so maybe you find some deficiencies in my writing, however, I was very moved by how proud you express yourself about your son. Referent your mother, I liked the humorous tone that you give when your talk about her, so I did not want to miss this opportunity and stopped my assignments for a moment to let you know that your words do make a difference, since they reach the heart of at least those who have opportunity to read you. I want confess you that is the most long I have written to someone I don't know, because your words inspired me, thank you...
Gavin Bollard · 209 weeks ago
Thanks for this post. I've been very distracted of late and so this was how I found out about our friend Kate. Kate's struggles were very real but they were so constant and so wide-ranging that it was difficult for people around her to address them. I think it's going to take a while longer for me to process all this.
I learned so much from Kate because she was always quick to point out the many injustices in the world. In her glory days, she was very much a crusader and she cared for everyone. Over the years, as her situation took its toll, I came to realise that it was the fact that she couldn't be put in a single specific category, that made the system fail her. She needed help that they weren't set up to provide.
She needed more care and she needed to be less alone. I'm so sorry that this has happened.
For a long while we were corresponding almost every day but a couple of months ago, I realised that she had become so stressed that nearly every interaction I had with her was starting to trigger her. I backed away to give her a bit more space. She only had a little time that she could stand to be online and there were too many things that she wanted to do in that time. I thought that by taking a step back, she could reach out to more people who might be geographically closer and able to assist.
Kate was a beautiful soul and she will be sorely missed by all of us.
diyalabs6192603 11p · 192 weeks ago
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Spoil your cat · 122 weeks ago
Many of these living arrangement aren't good, and many of the people who run those places really don't have the residents' best interest at heart. Those places are like old age homes and foster homes, where you sometimes hear horror stories. They're hard to trust. But then there are good ones, of course.
The best thing for an autistic adult is either to go on living at home or working and renting an apartment and living independently, but that isn't always an option.
Duncan · 112 weeks ago