First of all let me first say that I have finally been given a mother's right of passage. Friday morning while sitting in the school parking lot with Red, my 15 year-old son I was told, "You are the worst mother on earth!" All I could do was laugh. As a result, he did not have the pleasure of telling me off from the comfort of the front seat of my car on the way home from school. He road the bus! He didn't have the pleasure of my company until nearly bedtime that night. I ran away to a Zumbathon where I literally danced my ass off along with a truck load of stress. I then soothed my aching joints with a Chambord-rita and an appetizer at my favorite hang-out after the gym.
I now have proof positive evidence that this child of mine will NEVER...ever , be satisfied. He did it, he saved enough money for his blu-ray drive for the computer. We ordered it for him. You would think that would shut him up for a while -not so. We ordered it Friday. We then got nine thousand questions about where we ordered from, which one we ordered, when will it arrive, why didn't we choose overnight shipping. We finally had him read the printout to answer all of his questions so that he would have something concrete to refer back to for the future redundant questions.
Since he thinks that's in the bag...the disrespectful, loud, annoying behaviors ensued. On Saturday, he decided to clean and organize his room. He is envious of his brother whose room is spotless and organized. One would think this is a good thing. He's cleaning and organizing right? He decided that he doesn't want ANY books in his room. He hates reading...why does he need books? The chair that his friends sit in when they come over has a small tear in it....he must dispose of it. Fine...but I will not be replacing it. He sold his television to his older brother. It wasn't a flat screen. Who needs it? I guess his friends will sit on the floor when they visit and they will watch movies on his computer. He got rid of expensive car models we bought him a few years ago. They are now disposable. Wow! Had to have them then...now -he has no use for these collectibles.
Somehow, by the end of the day...he needed a new desk, and a shelf for his monitor and keyboard. He also decided he needs a new game controller for his computer. The one he has, "doesn't work right." Can't we just get him a new one. "Why is dad's computer the fastest in this house? Why can't I have some headphones like the ones Dad has?"
By the time Monday arrived we were at, "I just need a new computer. Can you get me a new computer for Christmas? Why can't you just get me a new...faster computer? It's not fair! Other kids have computers that support all of these new games. My computer is crap!" Un-freakin-believable! He has the second fastest computer in the house.
We are trying to teach the value of money by making him save for the things that he wants. That does not however stop him from continuing to ask for more...over and over and over again. He has now behaved his way out of having this blu-ray player installed by his father whenever it arrives. He has screamed and yelled and cursed at all of us including his 71 year-old grandmother. He made our Sunday afternoon a living hell!
Dad now insists that he wants a solid week of positive behavior before he will reward him with anything, including installing the player that he has been saving for and wanting for months. This will most likely be a recipe for next weekend being less than peaceful. I guess it doesn't really matter if he gets it or not. He will not be happy for long one way or another.
I think I hear my girlfriend in Houston calling me. I just may have to go...
Logging you in...
Adelaide Dupont · 285 weeks ago
And for those of us who knew and appreciated these points in high school to a greater or lesser extent - always good to have a refresher and feel them through the current and future generations who we survived to be able to see.
I especially appreciated points 5, 7 and 10.
And young women not settling or settling down yet is a good thing.
"It's never too late to live our dreams" - but it may be too early for some of them!
And 8 of course.
nicole · 243 weeks ago
Risa · 230 weeks ago
LAH · 221 weeks ago
Maira L. Coral · 216 weeks ago
I was looking for information for my Multi-Genre Disability Research Project from my Early Childhood Special Education class on the web, when suddenly I came across your blog. I started reading this out of curiosity and I want to tell you that as you said yourself, you will not be Amanda Gorman, but you managed to make me shed some tears, perhaps because I felt totally identified with your words, especially in the part that you speak of your son. My son also has Asperger's syndrome, he is 19 years old and he is in the second semester of College. Also like yours, he takes classes from home, likewise my eldest daughter is also taking college classes from her room. At the same time, that I work as a preschool teacher from my kitchen through a computer, my husband sleeps in the room during the day because he works at night. Also in the afternoons I myself take virtual school classes. I am a 51-year-old Latin woman who began to learn the English language as adult, so maybe you find some deficiencies in my writing, however, I was very moved by how proud you express yourself about your son. Referent your mother, I liked the humorous tone that you give when your talk about her, so I did not want to miss this opportunity and stopped my assignments for a moment to let you know that your words do make a difference, since they reach the heart of at least those who have opportunity to read you. I want confess you that is the most long I have written to someone I don't know, because your words inspired me, thank you...
Gavin Bollard · 209 weeks ago
Thanks for this post. I've been very distracted of late and so this was how I found out about our friend Kate. Kate's struggles were very real but they were so constant and so wide-ranging that it was difficult for people around her to address them. I think it's going to take a while longer for me to process all this.
I learned so much from Kate because she was always quick to point out the many injustices in the world. In her glory days, she was very much a crusader and she cared for everyone. Over the years, as her situation took its toll, I came to realise that it was the fact that she couldn't be put in a single specific category, that made the system fail her. She needed help that they weren't set up to provide.
She needed more care and she needed to be less alone. I'm so sorry that this has happened.
For a long while we were corresponding almost every day but a couple of months ago, I realised that she had become so stressed that nearly every interaction I had with her was starting to trigger her. I backed away to give her a bit more space. She only had a little time that she could stand to be online and there were too many things that she wanted to do in that time. I thought that by taking a step back, she could reach out to more people who might be geographically closer and able to assist.
Kate was a beautiful soul and she will be sorely missed by all of us.
diyalabs6192603 11p · 192 weeks ago
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Spoil your cat · 122 weeks ago
Many of these living arrangement aren't good, and many of the people who run those places really don't have the residents' best interest at heart. Those places are like old age homes and foster homes, where you sometimes hear horror stories. They're hard to trust. But then there are good ones, of course.
The best thing for an autistic adult is either to go on living at home or working and renting an apartment and living independently, but that isn't always an option.
Duncan · 112 weeks ago